<p>I got my first drinking ticket roughly two weeks ago. I blew a .04 and got hit with a fine. Im just im so upset at myself. Like i fooled myself into believing that people that partied with me were my friends, when they werent. I have never been in trouble and I'm christian. I try my best to be friendly with everyone, and I just i made a mistake and I feel like im a failure. I have a 3.5 and its just like i cant stand not having people like me, but ive realized that you have to be an ass to be liked, and i told myself i would never give into peer pressure, but having friends trumps all.But i feel like i cant be successful ever, because you have to be a jerk to get the best girl, best grades etc. It really hurts me im sick of feeling abandoned and Im not messing my life up any further. I want to be a great husband, father, and have people be proud of me. Im not destroying myself, but sometimes i just wish i could let everyone have it, and i am at a loss of what to do. Im worried about being alone but ill do it in order to have it all work out. Im so upset with myself, please dont flame me i know i messed up. its just a citation but it feels like i got a DUI</p>
<p>You don’t need to be a jerk to get the best girl…it just seems that way. You also don’t need to be an ass to be liked…it also seems that way. Easy solution: hang out with the right people and keep yourself busy with work. Hang out with people who have the same grades as you or who have similarities as you. If you have a good personality, people will like you. Those who drink and get drunk and won’t like you…ignore them and leave them. Girls who hook up with guys who are jerks…well, they’re just weird. There are some girls who stick with jerky guys cuz jerky guys have this “bad-ness” aura about them that attracts girls. They also want to feel “wanted” so they tend to ignore all logic and stick to guys who act like jerks. You don’t need to be with girls like that. Hang around girls who are smart and want guys who will treat them right :)</p>
<p>Stringing yourself tight over the pressure you’re placing on yourself won’t make you good at any of those things, and if you do achieve them, you won’t enjoy them. You need to learn to be confident in yourself and just relax - that’s what people like in others, an easy-going, confident personality. That’s not to say you shouldn’t try to be friendly or not study, but you shouldn’t beat yourself up if everything doesn’t go as planned all of the time. You don’t want a girl falling for you when you’re pretending to be something else. And the girls who go for the bad boys usually aren’t the best girls to be with anyway. </p>
<p>It’s better to have one or two close friends and a good girlfriend than a ton of shallow friends and girls crawling over you. It might seem great in the moment, but in the long run you won’t gain much from that kind of experience.</p>
<p>The last paragraph may be the truest thing ive ever read in my life. I want to make an impact on everyones life, but i guess im going about it the wrong way. i just you know i feel like you have to be a certain way. i dont care about fitting in but i dont want people to think badly about me</p>