HELP!!

After much thought and consideration, testing, conferences, etc. I believe that my daughter would best be served by going to boarding school. During the school year, she is quiet, reserved, and lacks self-motivation, although she is a good student. However, she attends an all-girl sleep-away camp each summer, and she thrives! She challenges herself, is more outgoing, and loves being with her ‘tribe’. As her mother, I can say without hesitation, that she is happiest when she is in that environment.

Has anyone else experienced a child who is not 100% on board with going to boarding school? Any suggestions?

@NFLMom: My daughter wanted to go, but she remained a little bit ‘on the fence’ until we visited the final school on our list-- the one where she felt she’d found “her people” and could really see herself fitting in there-- then she was all in and never looked back. It is an all-girls school (we also looked at coed schools). I think there are many benefits in the all-girls environment (though the lack of boys on a daily basis is certainly bemoaned by many of the girls!). It sounds as though your daughter might be the type to gain more confidence in that environment, too. One thing that helped, in our case: I kept my opinions about the schools to myself unless she asked me what I thought. I made it clear that this would be her decision, and her school choice. We talked about the pros and cons of being away at school, and then I left it up to her, and didn’t push. I think the reassurance that she could choose to stay home and remain in the local public school actually made it easier for her to compare and then decide to go to boarding school.

My son was not at all in love with the idea. I just encouraged him to keep an open mind, go through the process the best he could, and we would make a decision AFTER he learned what types of opportunities he might be offered.

It’s a big process, and sometimes it felt as if it might all be for naught, but in the end he fell in love with the idea and the opportunity, as did we.

Yes-- don’t push too hard, occasionally talk about the opportunities available, and definitely go to visit.

I suggest having your daughter try it out at a BS that has a summer program - Andover, Exeter, Choate are 3 that I know of.

It could be the sleep-away camp, or the all-girl setting. If you are preparing for a school search, I think you should add all-girls schools (day and boarding) to the list.

Attending summer school is a good idea, I guess. My son who was like your daughter (reserved, quiet, and unsure of attending boarding school) tried a summer school and liked it. It eventually made him want to go to a boarding school a year later and he seems thriving there, enjoying much more than the day school he attended. After you have the list of prospective boarding schools, have a visit with your daughter and see how she feels.