<p>hi, i was wondering if i could have a few words of advice. i finished my first year at wellesley, and it was one of the most miserable experiences i have had. i went to a competitive high school and studied really hard. i was really shy and hardworking, and i intended to make up for it when i went to college. i really wanted to get to know more people, expand my network, and party hard my first year. When i finally got into college, my parents (who really liked wellesley) somehow persuaded me to go. it wasn't the "college life" i expected at all. i really did try, initially, to make friends; i signed up for everything that people typically recommend, but nothing really clicked. i was ridiculously bored during the week, and i went to mit frat parties every single weekend, drank lots of alcohol, made some bad decisions, and was generally miserable. i honestly made zero real friendships, probably because i was miserable and people seemed extremely cliche-y to me. i desperately wanted to transfer, but my parents wouldn't hear of it. i've avoided thinking about this, but summer is almost over, and the thought of returning to wellesley literally makes me feel sick. i don't know what to do!</p>
<p>Oh... as a potential ED applicant that's not exactly music to my ears. I'm sorry you hated your first year so much! Have you considered transferring? Not every college clicks for every student. You could also study abroad for a semester if you need to get away.
About transferring - are your grades good? Do you have any favorite schools in mind? Maybe you would be happy in a big university, like one of the UCs like UCLA, or something like NYU, Boston U or U Michigan.</p>
<p>Oh I just read the end of your post about your parents not wanting you to transfer. Do they have a particular reason? Maybe if you tell them just how miserable you are they'll change their mind...</p>
<p>:( A lot of students here say that their second year is much better than their first. Even though I've made some good friends (mostly from Claflin), I do feel like I don't necessarily have the perfect niche since my friends either party too much for me or not at all (I'm somewhere in between). I have a friends scattered amongst different groups, </p>
<p>May I ask what dorm complex you lived in? People in the quad seem to always form close relationships for some reason...</p>
<p>Have you considered teaing for a society? I know that sounds horrifying for some people, but people in societies seem really happy because they have a good support network, built-in friends, and someone to sit with in the dining hall no matter what.</p>
<p>I know a few people who sent in transfer apps, but decided not to transfer in the end. I only know one person who transferred out this year. I also recently met someone who transferred to USC after sophomore year and totally regrets leaving Wellesley. Anyway, if you want to transfer, I really think that decision should be yours. If you have the money for the app fees, you could even apply to some schools without your parents' knowledge. </p>
<p>Other options: take lots of classes at other schools, study abroad/away for all of junior year.</p>
<p>P.S. If it ever gets unbearable, I highly recommend the services of the Stone Center.</p>
<p>I can certainly say that my second year was much better than my first. School wasn't really the issue for me--like you, I went to a very competitive high school, and was more than prepared. I found it really hard to find people I clicked with at first, mostly because as a first year your friends are really determined by location--where you live and who you see in classes. My second year I ended up making friends with a few upperclasswomen, which I hadn't really been able to do for whatever reason. I didn't make many friends, but the three or four that I did made a world of difference. I very, very seriously considered transferring, but in the end I wasn't willing to trade in the first rate academics for the chance of a better social life. I still have lots of issues with my life at Wellesley, but I think I made the right decision to stick it out. If you really want to transfer, though, you should do it--the good news is that transfer applications aren't due for many many months, so you have the chance to see if that's what you really want to do. In my case, I was a California resident and so I was considering transferring to UC Berkeley, which is much cheaper than Wellesley. Why are your parents so stuck on Wellesley? If you could go to a school with comparable academics would they be ok with it?</p>
<p>Is there still cross-registration with MIT? I took a couple classes there during my soph year (ages ago) and made some life-long friends through the experience. There's also the 12 college exchange you could look into. And when all else fails, you could transfer as others have said.</p>
<p>I'll be your friend....o_o</p>
<p>Well take this first year as a learning experience. So you partied hard, and you didn't like it, right? Well then I say avoid that kind of social scene and try out something else. Join some clubs, expand your interests and you're sure to expand your social circle. Do some volunteer work at a cat shelter or on Friday nights have a The Office or Gossip Girl party with yummy treats. SueD also gave some great advice about taking some classes at another college.</p>
<p>Oh, and welcome to CC! :)</p>