<p>I am currently a ninth grader at what is often considered the best private school of the south, but I am not happy socially. I have done a ton of research and I really want to go to boarding school, particularly Andover, Choate, or Deerefield, but my parents will not let me even apply. I cannot figure out why this is. We have plenty of money, so that is not the issue. And I cannot imagine why any one would be against getting an Andover education. Please give me some ideas on how I can convince my parents to at least let me apply to boarding school, I am so miserable at my current school!</p>
<p>Thank you so much</p>
<p>Get your parents to go on a visit.</p>
<p>What are your parents main objections? Are you boarding now or day?</p>
<p>Do they just want you home? Are they worried about safety or exposure to things such as alcohol or liberal ideals? (no slight intended, I am a southerner)</p>
<p>What are your reasons besides social? Because as I tell my boys, your JOB right now is school - not your social life. But I realize as a teenager a bad social life can be heck.</p>
<p>How are your grades? Would you be challenged by better academics? What about sports? Are there things you would like to play (hockey, LAX) that are not so popular in the south?</p>
<p>If you are not challenged where you are academically I would focus on that as a primary objective. But also the fact that it is a BIG world out there and meeting different people from all over the country/world is very common at a NE bs but not so common in the south. </p>
<p>Finally, I would suggest you do your research carefully. Be very informed when you go to talk with your parents about specific schools. Figure out what schools seem best for you and then ask them to take you to visit-- and I think the schools will then sell themselves.</p>
<p>Also, you may be aware, but there are some very good boarding schools below the Mason Dixon line that might be an option if they want you closer to home.</p>
<p>I know parents who just wouldn't even consider letting their child go off to boarding school. They are lovely people who have very good relationships with their children but don't even consider it an option, even to a school within a few hours' drive. I don't understand it. It's not my line of thinking, but I try not to make a judgement about it.</p>
<p>Your parents may be like the ones I know (or not...I don't know them!), or maybe - and this is a stab in the dark coming from a fellow parent - they think that you'll "get over it" and the only reason they won't consider it is because they think you're just trying to escape a social issue at your current school.</p>
<p>What have they done to address your misery at your current school? Do they understand how unhappy you really are?</p>
<p>Why are you sure switching schools will solve your social problems?</p>
<p>I know many parents who would never consider sending their child to boarding school. It doesn't make them bad people. Some parents feel the need to have more oversight of their children as they go through their teen years. </p>
<p>For boarding school to work it has to be right for both the parents and the student.</p>
<p>As others have mentioned by far the best route to convincing reluctant parents is to get them to visit. For me sending my daughter was an easy choice, I went to boarding school. My wife felt much better about it after visiting them.</p>
<p>Are the social challenges new this year? You are only a month or so into the new school year...what can you do at your current school to make things better in the short term?
Have you thought about trying to advocate first for a boarding summer program rather than a school-year switch?</p>
<p>Don't get any more specific about your location! However, are there any other private schools in your immediate area to which you could transfer? Schools which your parents would be willing to consider? </p>
<p>Schools seem to develop their own, idiosyncratic culture. If your parents won't consider sending you to a boarding school, maybe they'd consider a switch to a local day school. You might also research schools a little further away which offer "five day boarding," in which you spend Sunday through Thursday night at school, but can return home for the weekend.</p>