Help!

<p>My s has quaility scores (33ACT, 4.75 weighted, decent ECs. 2100 SAT, APs, etc.), yet is reluctant to attend a school without several high school friends, and naturally, they are attending a local state college that isn't that impressive academically. Wife and I are having real issues with his decision. Also, the financial facts are that state school is virtually free while private or other would be serious funds. Any suggestions?</p>

<p>I'd have him visit some other schools, if possible. My son started out his college search being interested in schools that friends are interested in -- but gradually branched out. Other kids did the same. It's really natural if they don't know much about the broad scope of college experience--start w/what's familiar. </p>

<p>Maybe you could even get the friends to come on a few visits of alternative schools to get your son into the swing of things (we did that--it worked for a while; then we stopped because some friends were not all that positive).</p>

<p>Is there honors college at your state school? That could be a nice compromise. And virtually free is a pretty good deal. He can always spend your money on grad school, if you insist ;)</p>

<p>Sounds like it's time for a road trip. Although, you need to make a list of reach, match and safety schools, both academically and financially. If it doesn't matter financially, I would take him to visit a variety of schools, comprehensive universities, LACs and maybe some selective schools on the Masters level. Throw an ivy in there too, who knows, depending on his class rank. Good luck, there are A LOT of options out there for your family to consider. </p>

<p>Remember, with his stats he may be accepted into your state's honors program and get a great education there. And, still be able to go to school with his friends. Some kids love the security of going to school with a crowd and others, like mine, went to college not really knowing a soul. </p>

<p>I have had 3 kids go through the college selection process--one applied to only Catholic schools, one applied to a variety of schools....OOS flagship U, in state flagship, and several privates(that was the one with stats like yours) and one was recruited for his sport. We have stressed that "a school does not make a man, but a man makes the school." I think the more schools you visit, the better idea you get of what you like. There is a lot to be said about the comfort factor.</p>

<p>OP, S1 had scores very similiar to your S's. He had a tuition scholarship that could have been used at many schools across the country. </p>

<p>He too, was only interested in one of the big state u's in our state where lots of local kids (including his best friends) go. He visited two other u's but remained adamant on his choice. Like you, we were worried that he might be missing out on a great undiscovered opportunity elsewhere.</p>

<p>In the end, we decided it was his choice. He is now a senior at the big state u.(3 hrs from home) on a full-ride and has had the time of his life there. He has remained very close to his high sch. friends (lives with 2 of them) but has made many new friends too. He has been academically challenged the whole way through. He'll graduate in May with honors and debt-free. It couldn't have turned out better.</p>

<p>I'm not saying you shouldn't take your S to visit other places. You def. should so he can compare. Have him apply to other schools all for the sake of having choices. What sounds good in Nov. may not sound good in April. After that, I think it should be his decison. Remember, no decision is final. He can always transfer if he finds he made the wrong choice.</p>

<p>This is so difficult because kids just don't know what they don't know. It's hard for many 18 year olds to grasp that their high school friends may not be at the center of their lives forever. We went through this with DD and in the end made the very difficult decision of not supporting the school she favored. She went to a much smaller, more academic school in another part of the Country rather than a state party school. She's a very happy senior with a new, broader world view and has thanked us for doing what she now sees as pushing her out of the nest.</p>

<p>Thank you very much; you may have saved me counseling fees! My wife and I discussed all of the pros and cons on our nightly walk and your response has been reassuring.</p>