Hey guys? Mind reading my essay on "heroes"?

<p>Sorry, I have to type it out.</p>

<p>Prompt (Final Official Practice Test):</p>

<p>Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?</p>

<p>My essay (25 mins):</p>

<p>Most societies throughout the centuries have either contemplated or defined their perception of a hero, from the Greeks with Perseus to Ameridcans today with people who help others. This fact signifies that the concept of heroes is actually intertwined with cultures and civilizations, and in America, heroes cannot be defined as those who are intrepid enough to speak their minds against societal constraints.</p>

<p>As portrayed in the book Into The Wild (Underlined), Chris McCandeless died an adventureous yet introspective man. He conveyed many emotions and thoughts upon which most generally would not dare touch, such as his defiance against his parents and society as a whole. He flouted conformity and society alike, and basically acted and discussed issues based completely off of his own cognitive thinking. In the end, we all recognize the galland spirit and incalcable courage he demonstrated, a spirit most lack, but very few would call McCandless a hero. In the end, he achieved nothing and only imposed repent and grief upon his family and friends, and death upon himself. His actions were egocentric and haughty. After realizing the true meaning of life lies in love and family, the only improvement his relentless fervor accomplished was his own improved maturity. This was at the cost of rivers of tears from his family and days of time of futile police searches. His actions, though courageous and singular, hindered society rather than improve it.</p>

<p>Sometimes, what people think are based off of a personal prejudice malignant to society as a whole. I have experienced this idea in its entirity. As the editor of our school newspaper, I often have to contend peevish ideas. Once a student asked me whether we could print our April issue as an April Fool's issue. He had a group of friends also part of the staff behind him, but he was the only one with the temerity to broach this idea in a meeting. This thing is, our paper is ubiquitously commended for its sincerity and accuracy of reporting. An April Fool's issue would demand a break from such earnesty, twisting the graphics for satire or integrating caustic jokes which might simply not be true. Neither I nor our advisor wanted this, a fact everyone recognized. So does this make the one who spoke up a hero? Certainly it doesn't. His idea was skewed, eccentric, wanton. Just because people speak up in difficult situations doesn't mean they're heroic if their words are not to the benefit of all.</p>

<p>Thank you all SOOO much. Sorry, try to ignore any typos. After actually going through it I never want to read it AGAIN!</p>

<p>Aww, come on. Anyone willing to help a bro out?</p>

<p>Anyone here?</p>

<p>I can’t really give a score because I have a tendency to be extremely critical but…</p>

<p>I like your first example. I actually read that book in my freshman year in undergrad as well. I wish you expanded more into explaining his conflicts though to show how his action was not of hero. What you said was very general about Chris McCandless. I think it was better if you actually gave an event in the story. Just a thought. :)</p>

<p>Second example is somewhat weak… Personally, I don’t know if anyone would consider such a guy a hero. Really, the guy was joking around… I’m not sure if you have enough evidence to criticize him as “not hero” when it was pretty clear.</p>

<p>Your title threw me off. I don’t do mind-reading.</p>

<p>OK. Make sure you know the nuance of the vocabulary you use. ‘ubiquitously commended’ is not right, nor is ‘imposed repent’. Ideas are based on or upon but never based off of. Don’t try to impress with too much vocabulary. It comes off stilted.</p>

<p>You should reintroduce the idea of heroism in the beginning of each paragraph. Something like: While Chris McCandeless, as portrayed in the book Into the Wild could never be called reticent, he would not be considered a hero for speaking his mind. Then give an example of what he said. Same for the next paragraph. Sometimes people consider themselves heroic for speaking up when they really are espousing personal prejudices malignant to society.</p>

<p>And you definitely need to get a conclusion relating your examples back to your thesis.</p>