In general?
Why I ask: Son matriculated to a private prep as a grade 10. We’re not nearly as affluent as some of the other families there. I’d like to think counselors campaign for everyone equally but perhaps they can’t, as their recommendations and praise would be seen as hollow. I’m wary of his lack of history there and our low level of social status. Perhaps I’m just insecure about the new environment.
Your son will get the same advising as his classmates at his private prep school. The counselor isn’t going to be privy to your financial status.
I think like everyone else they have their favorites, but it isn’t going to be based on financial status.
My understanding is that guidance counselor recommendations tend to be more about giving an overview of the rigor of your son’s course schedule/program as well as talking about any special circumstances or challenges that the admissions committees need to know about (if any). The teachers are the ones who have more day-to-day interaction with the student and can speak more about your son’s strengths as an individual.
I can’t imagine that your guidance counselor would discriminate against your son though or ‘play favorites’ though. Why would they?
(Bear in mind that a lot of these private prep schools are evaluated in part on how many of their students get into top colleges, so it’s not exactly in their best interest to do a lackluster job with any student).
Belle-I think you are right that they can’t “campaign” as hard for every student to be admitted to a particular school.
Some students are more qualified than others and the college counselors at the prep school would have zero credibility with the college if they said that all students were equal. But I do agree that socioeconomic status wouldn’t affect your son.
GC at private schools get rated based on their track record of getting kids into highest ranking colleges. They would normally get the athletes, legacies, top academic stars (students with hooks) into EDs to leave more room for other students. What they don’t want is to have top students to get multiple acceptances at top schools. They will have few favorites (most likely not for financial reason) and they will have few they will need to get special attention to due to their parents’ contribution to the school. If your kid has a hook, he/she will get more attention than average students.
I really liked D1’s counselor because I think she worked very hard for all of her students. D2’s counselor (at another school) paid a lot of attention to D2 because of her credential.
If you are new to the school, you can certainly try to cultivate certain relationship with your kid’s counselor. Have your kid stop by to see the counselor often. You can make a point of meeting with the counselor. I was quite friendly with our kids’ counselors. They kept me informed with the process and responded to my inquiries quickly.
I agree with @oldfort 100%
GC at highly ranked private HSs absolutely play favorites. The reason that they do this is two fold: The selective colleges that have a relationship with the colleges rely on the GCs views, so they want the best one for their tier, so to say, so that they can continue to trust what the GC says about an applicant. The second fold is that the GCs want to place the whole class in the “best” or top 3 choices of the applicant and they don’t want all of the applicants to vie for just a few colleges which increases the competition among them. The GCs might steer the kid with legacy, or URM with high stats, or good stats and well liked/thought of applicant to say one college, and steers the middle of the class to another college. If the higher kid wants to also apply to other safeties that they would unlikely attend, the GC steers them away from that college so that the lower stats kids who really want to go that college get in. My higher stats kid was pressured to not apply to other colleges that was not likely to attend (say Vanderbilt). Many middle of the road stats kids were pressured not to apply to top colleges, much to the anger of the parents who had paid lots of money for many years, to be told that their kid is not strong enough.
You kid could affect what the GC thinks of them based on their relationship. As old fort says, that kid should stop by the counselors office often to chat, ask for advice, etc. Also, not sure about your financial situation, but if kid is low income, GC might think that it would help get kid into a top college. Unfortunately, if you are upper middle class, just not as high as the other students, then it won’t help, but the GC doesn’t need to know of your kids financial situation. The GCs kind of rank the class but they assume that everyone is full pay. You can choose to disclose to GC that it’s financial aid that you seek, and they would carefully craft a list around this factor as well. I had a tussle with GC for kid #2 (bottom 1/2 of class) because wanted to apply to many lower colleges to try for merit money since we are full pay. GC was not happy about it, but I resisted some of the pressure, and we tried to compromise.
How could the GCs at prep schools not play favorites? The GCs are going to be judged on their track records. The more Ivy/elite admits they can score, the more effective they appear. And who are the high-likelihood Ivy/elite admits who will make the GCs look good and propel their careers? None other than the hooked kids (i.e. famous last name kids, development cases, recruited athletes, URMs).
The mistake many people make is assuming students and GCs have the same agenda, just like people make the mistake of assuming that potential homebuyers and their real estate agent have the same agenda.
You want the best INDIVIDUAL outcome for your child; the GC wants the best AGGREGATE outcome for his/her group of students.
We always treated our kids’ private high school GC extremely well since we knew that she could hurt/help situations. Sure enough, when older son’s PSAT score was well high enough to make NMSF, but his score sheet indicated that he was “out of the competition”, she contacted NMCorp before we even knew there was a problem. (son had accidentally partially-erased his answer about being a full time student when he had erased something else. ) So, the GC had everything fixed before we could even worry about it.
Just like teachers, GC’s have favorites. It’s not usually based on income, it’s based on student’s behavior and accomplishments.
While it could be argued that at some schools, a few very well-heeled students seem to be able to get away with murder, it doesn’t usually mean that the well-behaved and academically qualified smaller checkbook student gets ignored.
Agree with the others. The GC want to make good placements for the entire class, but do not want the kids competing against one another. They select certain kids for certain schools and will discourage others from applying those schools. I don’t think it has anything to do with finances and who is not full pay. (but if paying for college will be an issue, do talk to the GC and let them know) I am confident that my D’s GC will steer her towards a selection of schools that will be a good fit for my D. OTOH, having been through this before and having received great advice on CC I will be sure to do some research myself with my D and she may well end up applying to some schools not on GC’s list.
Having worked at a prep school, I understand the pressure of getting every student accepted into the highest ranked colleges. It didn’t matter if Johnny wanted to attend the state flagship, he also had to apply to the elites. Acceptances were the focus and goal of the school. So I would say that if parents and student are shooting for elites, then GC’s priorities might fit well. If parents and students are aiming for lesser known schools, be aware that GC might still be pushing for some elite applications.
Although GC needs all students to get accepted at elite colleges, there is no way they would let a high-level donor’s kid get lost in the shuffle. I would suggest parents research and learn as much as possible on their own about the college process, to make sure their child is taking appropriate classes, signing up on time for SAT/ACT, and developing relationships with teachers who can write a strong recommendation letter when needed.
Some schools really do care about each and every student in their school, so don’t assume your child is going to be let to fend for themselves in the college process.
We’re a lower SES family at a prep school, as well and I wondered the same thing. I have since come to learn that the particular counselor who handles my son doesn’t favor the super-rich, connected or even the most accomplished boys. Despite her professionalism and hard work, it’s very clear that the boys who have her heart are the ones who (a) really need her and (b) have just a little of mischief about them.
An important part of what fancy private schools do – and the GCs are largely the ones who do it – is to minimize the amount of head-to-head competition among classmates. There is a fair amount of slotting kids into various colleges or groups of colleges, so that you don’t have the top 5 kids in the class all applying SCEA to Princeton. That’s done in dialogue with the kids and their parents; part of the skill set of a prep school GC is convincing students and families that they would really rather go to Williams or Amherst than Harvard. That allows the GCs to go to bat whole-heartedly for every kid, because every kid (almost) can be the best fit from the school at whatever colleges to which he or she is applying. (A few years ago, at an elite private school in my area, there were three girls who were pretty indistinguishable academically from one another at the top of the class. One applied SCEA to Stanford (a legacy), one applied SCEA to Yale (also a legacy), and one applied ED to Amherst. All three were admitted. I would bet anything that each of them was presented to her chosen college as the #1 student in the class.)
Looking at the whole class, and looking over any period of years, the system works really, really well for the vast majority of kids. Of course, no family has all the kids and all the years; they only care about one kid/one year at a time, for the most part. So, yes, there can be instances of hurt feelings and a sense that the GCs are playing favorites. But if you buy in to the program and go with the flow, you are likely to be satisfied with the outcome.
The vast majority of counselors are very professional. Getting kids into good college makes them look good. That said, we did experience a counselor who was petty and vindictive and absolutely had favorites. Thankfully, my D had a whole lot of experience with difficult personalities and fully understood the need to play nice. D was a favorite that made her look really good and it meant D was openly nurtured and encouraged. Students who couldn’t hold their tongue were given all the same public counselling (and this was substantial in their school) but blatantly less personal support and even pushed away from good schools in their range with a “oh, you’ll never get in there.” Remember though, this women was a total loon.
It’s always best to present your best self to GC’s even if you don’t like or trust them. More than likely, your son’s GC is a professional who wants a nice list of acceptances to showcase at the end of the year. If your son is a good student with a good work ethic, I wouldn’t be concerned. However, it’s in your best interest to do a lot of research. Don’t leave it totally up to the GC when it comes to finding options both academically and financially.
My sister-in-law at a very well known prep school felt strongly that her scholarship kid was being steered away from some top colleges while they missed some great suggestions. In the end her kid didn’t get into MIT, his first choice, but did get into Cornell and Rice. He attended Rice (which was not on the GC’s radar) where he got a Goldwater Fellowship, graduated with multiple honors and awards in two majors, and ended up accepted to MIT for a Phd. All this is to say perhaps more monied and connected students at this particular prep school were steered in a way that felt like favoritism to my sil.
I saw no sign of any such issue at our large public high school where many students did indeed go head to head with each other. Most kids seemed to end up with good choices that way too.
GCs as a whole are good folks with good intentions, and with a passion for helping kids. You don’t have any choice in your GC as an individual, and individuals can have personal/family issues, prejudices, and personality disorders that might influence or interfere with the quality of guidance your child receives.
As turtletime and others mentioned, do what you and your student can to stay in good graces with your GC, but also learn as much as you can on your own or from parents of older students who have experience in the college process.
To answer the title thread question, I think it depends. @BelleDeJour 's original question pertains to a private school, and the answers there could be very different than from a public high school, where a GC’s role is sometimes primarily that of disciplinarian.
In some situations, if you stay out of trouble, the GC won’t know who you are.
If you are the 5th or 6th sibling in a family and the GC knows your family history, you might expect them to look at you differently than they would a “new kid”.
I doubt finances would affect how a GC would write up a recommendation, but you might be surprised at how sharing some of your financial situation can help you out. My brother and sister-in-law met with my niece’s GC to share their concern about potentially having to pull her out of the private school for her senior year when he lost his job. GC found them a scholarship to let her continue there for her senior year, and she told them in the past, she had other students whose families were in similar situations. In those cases, as they began their college search, the list may differ when scholarship/merit aid or financial aid is perhaps a more important consideration than it may be for full-pay families.
From what I’ve seen, some private school GCs are guilty of the reverse. They favor the less affluent kids. Most of them aren’t particularly wealthy themselves. Some have had to deal with families who were “developmental cases” and threw their weight around. When Zoe JPMorganChase-MilitaryIndustrialComplex walks into the GC’s office for the first time, the GC may be predisposed to think she’s a spoiled brat.
I agree with @jonri. The counselors at my kids’ private school look out for the less affluent kids. And they can’t stand parents who come in and try to throw their weight around.
I wanted to add something about the financial situation… what you’ll need to watch for are any assumptions the GC is making about what you can or can’t pay. I know D’s loon of a GC was so concerned about kids not being able to pay for college, that she’d shuttle them away from universities that weren’t a “sure bet” financially. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fantastic to have someone feeding you affordable options but a GC doesn’t always have all the information. You don’t want her holding back on assumptions. Again, D’s GC was a bit of a nut but since you do feel there is a disparity of income between your son and his peers, just make sure he’s getting ALL the info as really, it should be a family choice whether to pay for application to a school that may or may not be affordable in the end (or a school for which a student is a good candidate for merit aid that WOULD make it affordable.)