My parent and I got in an argue net over the cost of out of state schools that provide in state tuition for mt majors. I understand that cost of living may be higher, but some of my schools instate cost $26+ per year and somewhere out of state like Montclair has 11k tuition cost.would it still be cheaper to go to my instate schools?
When comparing school costs, you cannot look only at tuition. Be sure to add in room and board - which can vary considerably from one part of the country to another. When going out of state, always factor in how much the travel to and from school for holidays and family obligations will effect your college costs (or whether you will stay on campus for those occasions). Sometimes this is negligible and sometimes it’s very significant. Also, your parents might be looking at how much it would cost to come visit you and see shows you will be it. Then you may also need to add in hotel costs for overnight stays plus eating out and on-the-ground travel if not coming by car. If the distance requires the student to fly, you will also need to figure out costs of getting your dorm and school supplies to and from the school at the beginning and end of the school year. Many OOS students will rent a storage unit over the summer to store their stuff so they don’t need to transport it back and forth every year. If a student goes to college close to home, it is very easy to load up the family car and move things place to place. Across the country - not so much.
The total cost for us at Montclair with in-state tuition and my daughter’s $4K a year scholarship is about $25,000 a year and that includes tuition, all fees, room, and board. HOWEVER there are different prices for different dorms and singles cost more than doubles, so it can be a LOT cheaper since my daughter has a single in the most expensive dorm… also there are cheaper meal plan options and some dorms have cooking facilities if your kid wants to go that route. Add some if you want to go into NYC a lot since train/bus fare is $7. There is not much cost in the way of books.
Remember travel is an option, not a necessity (unless you travel for medical or compelling family reasons). My own D at Northwestern never came home during Thanksgiving, and I never went to her shows, as both were out of our budget (and one time I wanted to go to the show but couldn’t get out of work 
. In her senior year, she didn’t come home at all, but stayed and worked there. It’s a very personal thing whether this is a big deal or not. It wasn’t in our case.
So yes, there are possible additional out of state costs, but many of these, you can budget for or they’re optional. Also remember that you are a different person in your Freshman year than, say, your Junior year. Your Freshman year you may well want to come home Thanksgiving and Winter break and Spring break and all summer, but that’s really unusual to do when you’re a Junior and Senior, even when you’re in-state.
I’ll expand on the travel comment just a tad. Since travel costs for us, were a must. My girl was clearly going to be on a plane.
Travel where? Hard to get to places that might be geographically much closer as the crow flies or to a school that was in a major metro on a competitive flight route with direct flights even if farther? And once they landed, were they there and just needed to hop a subway or was it yet another part of the journey to get from the airport to where ever the campus was?
My two kids went to (or are at… younger one is still in college) schools in NYC and Boston. Travel to either of their cities I’m pretty sure I could book last minute flights to/from for a lot less than what one could book at some of these less serviced airports even with months of advanced planning. Well I’m actually positive about that as it is something I checked.
But none of that efficiency would offset for example the difference between instate tuition in places like TSU or Montclair vs what we paid for NYU. Not even close. Pretty sure I could have flown in cross country to visit my girl every week for 4 years at Tisch and would still be ahead. She would have disowned me, but I’d be ahead.
However travel costs would absolutely have closed the gap for our getting to CMU, U Mich, Ithaca, even Penn State (less so with Penn State as their out of state tuition is not as horrifying for a public U but still worth the exercise to be sure you know the difference) and other places that nip at the heels of for example, NYU tuition. Do the math.
^ ^ ^ Then factor in a few years of travelling to summerstock performances in the middle of farmland and forests, should your kid take that route and should you choose to attend said performances. You definitely start to prioritize (i.e., only travelling to see the big lead vs. the chorus part. Very different from HS when we were at every performance and would watch our kids read the phone book if given the chance) 
We are planning two trips to Chicago a month apart to see a couple of shows that my son is in – easily $3500 total – it can definitely add up. (also will NOT be seeing a show later in the summer unless somebody wins the lottery).
@Jkellynh17 I understand! We learned quickly this summer while D was at Cherubs that the 10ish hour drive to Chicago really wasn’t all that bad vs. the flight costs.
yeah it’s more like 17 hours from here, which generally means a stop somewhere in Ohio, and my better half really hates long driving trips…but that’s one way to save money if you have time.
Drivability was a part of our list of considerations in making the original list - I wanted to be able to feel like I “could” get to her under my own steam if I needed to. It was not a deal breaker, (she ended up with 2 schools over 12 hours away on the list, and was accepted at one) but it was a factor. NYC is about 8 hours for us - not ideal, but doable.
We have one kid 8 hours away and one 7 hours away. (Totally different directions - I couldn’t get that lucky.)
They’ve both flown home - thankfully, Southwest services both their local airports. But younger D now has her car in Nebraska though, so she’s driven home for breaks this year.
Travel home was one thing I never took into consideration really when it came to school choice … the only thing I prayed for was that older D wouldn’t apply/be accepted to Cornell. I couldn’t figure out how the hell she’d get home from Ithaca in a way that didn’t involve a bus, a boat and a rickshaw.
We could have driven to Ithaca in five hours…all depends on where you are.
Wish we were close enough to drive! But all the way across the country- never happening… I actually looked it up and with no stops- 44 hours! :))
There’s something psychologically soothing about feeling like you can get up and drive if you needed to. That was actually one thing that made me feel better about my D in Northwestern–Amtrak also services between NYC and Chicago, so I felt she or I could also hop on a train. Never did, though it sounds fun!
I think @halfokum raises a great point about doing the math.
You also have to figure out what’s important for you. For me and my kids, the program itself as well as the overall cost (after scholarship) were the deal breakers. Obviously I’d prefer a program an hour away. But distance was ultimately less important than the program, fit, and price. Given a choice, I’d rather my kids be happy and thriving in a great program even if it means not being able to go to a show, than go to all the shows but have them be in a program they unhappy in.
“Pretty sure I could have flown in cross country to visit my girl every week for 4 years at Tisch and would still be ahead. She would have disowned me, but I’d be ahead.”
@halflokum, I don’t know how to do the gray quote thingy, but my wine almost sprayed onto my computer as I burst out laughing at this after a long day at work… 
We are about 14 hours away. We have transitioned from flying, to flying one way and driving back one way with D, to D driving the entire way by herself. Depending on turnaround time, we have sometimes flown, sometimes driven to go see shows, recitals, etc… But we have also missed a number of performances. Same for summer - didn’t get to see any performance one summer when D was in Ithaca due to conflicts with son’s baseball, distance, etc… Weird feeling to know they are performing and you never get to see it! And we did break the bank to go to NYC last minute when D and some of her peers got to appear with Kristin Chenoweth on Broadway unexpectedly. At least the school paid for their trip! But we wouldn’t have missed that for the world. College has been a good time for us all to learn how to wean ourselves from “being there” all of the time. But it is a hard transition, I won’t lie.
@calliene, comforts me to know you get me. 
I’ll also add a plug for being able to drive. It’s huge. HUGE. Never mind the cost savings thing… but think about when your kids comes down with mono and is in and out of the ER. Or in an ER because of some dumb ass thing they did. Or you just decide you want to bring them a warm apple pie in a week they are struggling for whatever reason. (OK… the last thing I threw in as a fantasy but the first two are things I can vouch for). Think about that stuff and then imagine you can’t because none of this stuff can happen unless you drive for 44 hours (@stagedoormama… are we neighbors?) and this is without even a comfort break.Where does that leave you?
One place it might leave you is with a pretty resilient kid that muscled through the hard stuff and who surrounded themselves with friends they chose wisely to fill in the gaps as best they could. Not being able to drive is not the end of the world. But it sure would be nice and I envy those of you who can/could. I’m a fan even though I’m zero for two.
And by the way I have two incredible students from Germany staying at my house tonight that are coming off of an internship in Montana and are couch surfing their way around the country before they go back for graduation and grad school. I think some countries do way better at the idea of raising resilient and self-sufficient kids.
I’m getting really, really good at the 8 hr. drive to Pittsburgh . . .
Also watch out for “fees”. Usually nominal, but at some SUNYs, they are quite high, adding 50% to tuition!