<p>Honestly, I feel like im going to burst right now. everyone has expectations of me whether its through my ECs (tomorrow i have three meetings to go to at once and all of them will be ****ed if i dont show and go to one and not the other..! And no, these arent the typical meetings where u can just hop around from one to another after a few min...if i don't show i get blamed for being uncommitted, when in reality, i am sincerely one of the most committed people there...!), on top of that my parents want the grades, i WANT the grades, I want a life, sats/acts/aps everything is looming over my head right now....and idk .....its all impossible!!!</p>
<p>Everyone expects so much and honestly right now I feel like throwing up just thinking about all that needs to be done tonight, tomorrow, over the next few weeks, during the summer, senior year, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.</p>
<p>I wish I didn't have a family who set such high standards. I wish I didn't set such high standards for myself. I wish I could be superwoman and do everything with success. </p>
<p>I wish i could give up. But i can't.</p>
<p>=( ughhhhhh. FML. </p>
<p>Sry...lol, idk the point of this post but yeah, its just here to make me feel better.</p>
<p>It’s all right, we’re getting there. Everything seems overwhelming now, but it’ll be over & done with in a few months. It’ll be over before you know it! Just focus on doing what you need to do, and you’ll somehow get through it. And don’t stress too much. It doesn’t help. You’re allowed to fail.</p>
<p>I know what you mean. For me this is the most intense week and a half ever.</p>
<p>This entire week is tech week at ballet. I have practice everyday for hours (as opposed to 4 days a week for hours), but I still have quiz team. And I still have to tutor kids.
Tomorrow I have a test over everything in calculus. Everything. Even the littlest tiny thing you can barely think of. All day, I’ve been listening to a CD my teacher wrote about calculus. It’s all stuck and jumbly in my head. I also have a test on Human Geography, only I can’t study for it because when my friend got on the bus he realized he had forgot his book and out of the kindness of my heart, I loaned him mine. I also have to read about 60 pages for Art History. I really don’t want to since I have a 97%, but if I don’t, I fear my teacher won’t adore me anymore and she won’t write me good recs.
Saturday I’m taking the SAT. And since my first college application is due in September, it is my last chance. This uni is near-impossible to get into (1-2% chance) and it’s by far my first choice. But I can barely study because all of the stupid shizz (enumerated above) that I have to do. The night before I have the SAT, I have a performance. Right after I get out of the SAT, I have a performance.
You’d think after that I would get to rest, but no! The Calculus AP exam is on Wednesday, so any other time I have will be consumed by studying for that. As soon as I get out of the exam, I have Quiz team, and then a scholarship try out for dance. Right after that, I’m leaving on a jet plane.</p>
<p>After that, I will finally get a (one day) break to go to my brother’s graduation. I think we should all try to remember that, to some extent, we chose this life. We want something beyond what we have and are willing to try for it.</p>
<p>I’ve been having a really stressful week as well. Not only do I have to balance my ECs, I also missed a lot of school so I have 5 times the work to make up. I’ve been studying in the morning, during class, during lunch, after school, and I go to sleep really late and wake up really early. Plus I have an AP exam to study for that I am failing practice exams for. I don’t have any time to be sane.</p>
<p>The worst part is, no one is expecting this out of me. It’s all self-imposed. I’m too much of a perfectionist, I can’t handle failure.</p>