<p>Realizing that this relates directly to High School Life forum, and realizing that it won't be ten minutes until the thread digresses, I'm posting this here.</p>
<p>When I started my freshmen year at my high school, which is a National Exemplary School and ranks ~300th by newsweek, I thought it was a perfectly serene learning environment. However as I progressed to now my junior year, I learned many disturbing incidents that the others at my school find "customary". Even friends in my Calc BC class, whom I thought would be smart enough to identify inherent danger elements in drinking, disappoint me. There have been several pregnancies, more drug abuses, and even increasing activities of a gang.</p>
<p>Now, as parents, are you REALLY sure that none of these things occur(ed) at your son or daughter's high school? Any stories?</p>
<p>I think if anyone believes that these types of activities (whether your sons or daughters go to an elite prep school or the poorly regarded inner city school) are completely absent from any HS in America is just being naive.</p>
<p>My HS existence was in a very affluent suburb outside of Kanas City. Undoubtedly alcohol is the most common. When I was in HS (98-01) the 2 most popular cheerleaders a year ahead of me both got pregnant - 1 dropped out, and the other (as I later found out) had the first of several abortions. </p>
<p>Perhaps even more telling was the Junior League Cotillion that I participate in as a senior, which was comprised of nearly 50 "good kids" who all came from affluent families (mothers were all in the Jr. League, tickets to the ball are $100/plate, girls dresses were custom made and over $600 a piece, etc.). Immediately after we were finished it was time to party and believe me the alcohol was flowing.</p>
<p>It's part of teenagers trying to find who they are and assert their independance, trying to experience new things. I'm sure it's something that most every parent worries about, and I know that I've had conversations about parenting with some of my couples friends who are engaged or soon will be.</p>
<p>Starting in 5th grade, my sheltered children were able to answer this question "yes" easily: "If you wanted drugs, would you know where to get them?" </p>
<p>Starting in 8th grade: this question was answered "yes": "are any of your friends having sex with their boy/girl friends?"</p>
<p>But to my knowledge, there were zero pregnancies. That may be because the schools around here actively support sex education, including birth control methods (stressing that abstinence is the only way to be sure you don't get herpes, AIDS, chylamidia, etc.).</p>
<p>wow . . . your schools pale in comparison to mine</p>
<p>number 16 in the country according to newsweek.</p>
<p>in my freshman year there was a huge gangfight involving all 20 gang members in my school. A lot were hurt but good thing was all of them were arrested and kicked out and the gangs never really rebuilt themselves (think that there are about 4 gang members attending now)</p>
<p>in my junior year a freshman kid was savagely beaten by four kids with golf clubs for reporting one of the drug dealers on campus. he had to spend next 2 weeks hospitalized. </p>
<p>drugs are notoriously easy to get, sometimes even easier than alcohol. Even straight kids are aware of how to get them.</p>
<p>this year a senior got drunk at a party, drove, went the wrong way down a highway and killed 3 college girls that were driving home.</p>
<p>Out of 2400 students, there are 112 girls either currently pregnant or have already had a child.</p>
<p>and almost every1 has sex. literally. although the people i hang out with are smart enough to use protection.</p>
<p>and in case you think only the 'more average' students do this, I'm in the IB program, which makes up the top 10% of our class and pretty much give it it's rating, yet 65% of my friends in IB have had sex before and about 85% drink each weekend at parties. To be honest, even I have before. If you know how to be careful it isn't a big deal. It makes no reflection on academics, since almost all the the people I've hung out with and partied with, including myself, are going to a top-25 school (with UNC Chapel Hill being considered 'average' by our standards) One girl's going to Stanford, one guy to Upenn, five to Duke (including myself) one to harvard, one to georgetown, two with full rides to Vandy, a plethora to Chapel Hill.</p>
<p>Yes, I think these "activities" are going on in most schools starting in the middle schools years. My oldest, who graduated HS in 2000 said that during his years alcohol, mainly beer, was the drug of choice; with a very few kids doing anything harder like X, crack, meth. Fast forward to 2005 when my youngest graduated from same school--he reported major drug use openly at most high school parties--lots of X, many Rx drugs, crack use way up, along with other hallucinigens. He stated it was easier for the kids to get drugs than to buy beer or cigarettes. Really scary. Sometimes he would come home and tell me he stopped by a party and drugs were present, so in case I heard about it later, he would bring home a test kit from the drug store if we wanted to check him. A couple times I did check him (negative) and I think it made him feel good to have concrete proof for us.</p>
<p>Several girls in his class had abortions and many more students were rumored to be getting treatment for various STDs.</p>
<p>So what is the answer? I'm glad mine are all out of high school. From what all 3 tell me, they see much less on their respective college campuses then they did in high school.</p>
<p>I am about a month away from being out of high school, and I have never done any of the above drugs including alcohol. However, I would say that about 90% of kids, if not more, drink regularly, and maybe about half use drugs (in my school probably 10-15 percent on something harder than marijuana). The pregnancies and STDs are what surprise me from these reports. At my school, it is very rare to hear of a girl getting pregnant or of STDs, though I am sure they exist, just not to the levels some here are stating.</p>
<p>our health teacher told me. at first i didn't believe him but about a month later my english teacher told us the same number. i'm guessing all the teachers are told about it.</p>
<p>I am the first child in my family that hasn't gone to a private school... My mother is one of nine children and all of the girls went to a private all girls school, all the boys went to a private all boys school, and all of their children, even my siblings followed in their footsteps. My aunts and uncles often let the "Thats why I would never send my kids to a public highschool" line slip out around me. My siblings that went to private schools found that there were a lot more problems with drugs, sex, and alcohol in their schools than I encountered in the public school that I went to. You can find trouble anywhere if you are looking for it, just because a school has great status doesn't make it exempt from problems almost any teenager will face.</p>
<p>i come from a wealthy family, and am the ONLY child in my parent's group of friends who is going to a public school.</p>
<p>my parents are die-hard haters of private schools. both graduated from public and both are very happy about it, not to mention extremely successful. They (and I, from experience) find private school students extremely egoistic, shallow and self centered. in fact, i never go out of my way to hang out with the private school crowd for that reason alone. although they are nice, they simply are raised believing that they are better than others. i much prefer my friends from my school.</p>
<p>the same is true where I go, private schools are worse drug's wise than public schools are, because children have the ability to pay for the more expensive varieties (heroine,cocaine etc.)</p>
<p>I'm not involved with the people who do drugs, alchohol, etc at my school but I know that it happens and think its naive not to unless maybe if you were at a strict religious school where people actually believed in it and held themselves to that standard. My school is a pretty wealthy suburban public school and as such, kids often have the money to do it. And yeah, its both smart kids as well as others. The only thing I haven't heard of is gangs but who knows? </p>
<p>Frankly, I'm tired of it and could care less and am already frustrated that we're covering it in my gov class.</p>
<p>Of course this goes on at all schools, both public and private. Some of the schools in the more affluent areas have a worse drug/alcohol problem than those in less affluent areas (they have more 'disposable' income - usually from their parents). Even intelligent people, especially kids, do stupid things. Some very intelligent kids will still make stupid choices and end up doing drugs, alcohol, sex. Parents need to face the reality that they can't insulate their kids from being around these negative influences so they need to work with their kids to make sure the kids will be able to make the right choices when they are inevitably exposed to these influences. </p>
<p>Fortunately, there are also many 'smart' kids who make the right choices and don't do these things and don't cave to negative peer pressure. This is where you can shine as it sounds like you already are.</p>
<p>I actually like the fact that i can get drugs/alcohol/ sex/ or join a gang easily at my school, because once your able to stay away from those vices you wont be so shocked when you get to college and it increases exponentially, so to any parent or student who goes or has a child that goes to a school where these things aren't available they might be at a disadvatage and might be more perceptible to doing it in college.</p>
<p>The stories my DS tells me from his high school (large suburban public in a relatively wealthy area) make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Drinking and sex are rampant; he tells me he could get any drug I could think of, easily, most AT school. A lot of the kids are highly unsupervised, and are roaming around getting into trouble on the weekends.</p>
<p>But, in that same school, there are also kids who do not do drugs, smoke, drink or have sex. I think one hears about all the kids who do, and assume it is everyone, but it isn't true.</p>
<p>Although, like the OP, I have been surprised to hear the names of some kids getting caught drinking who are AP students, top musicians, etc. The days of bad behavior being relegated to only the athletes or loser students are long gone.</p>
<p>Alcohol is the drug of choice here. Pot to a lesser, but still large extent as well. Nothing harder than that, except by a very small population of the school. I'm kind of glad about it- it's better than being sheltered from all of it and one day going to college and being completely shocked. One of my really good friends through 8th grade is 17 and will have her 2nd child by the time she turns 18 in July. She's the only one this year, but 2-3 pregnant females a year is pretty typical.</p>
<p>I go to a coed private school, about 300 students in the high school, and drugs and whatnot aren't big problems. A few students smoke (noone smokes cigarettes, many who have have stopped), maybe 50% drink occasionally(in senior class, less so in lower classes). A minority have sex, with no pregnancies(don't think there have been any abortions). but then again, its a small private school in kentucky...</p>
<p>My kids attend a public non-affluent high school. Some of our friends choose the "better" privates in the area. I can tell you from my experience: alcohol is at both, although much more prevelant, much earlier at the private school. Pot is at both, but again, earlier and more at the private school. Other drugs (meth/"shrooms") I've only heard about from kids who go to the private. Pregnancies are well-hidden at both. </p>
<p>Point to be taken: If some parents think a private school will "protect" or "keep their children away" from the evils of the world, they are the naive ones.</p>
<p>I had one friend tell me she wishes that her daughter's private school did a better job at enforcing a stricter dress code. She thought that was what she was paying for. Sadly, many, but not all parents, think if they pay a lot of money, they do not have to raise their kids. Nothing could be further from the truth!</p>
<p>Anybody who thinks that smart kids are too "smart" to do (normal teen) stuff like drinking and drugs is horribly naive. </p>
<p>I know plenty of brilliant people who have sex, drink a lot or use lots of soft drugs. Though this board is a haven for black/white stigmatization of anyone who likes to do any of the above.</p>
<p>honestly going into high school back in 9th grade like in 2001, i was so surprised by the so many kids who smoked weed/pot on a regular basis, including 9th graders, that back in middle school i didn't believe kids when they would say they would get high all the time.</p>
<p>it scared me at that point. fast forward to senior year, i remember having some of the closest people to me doing drugs, including one girl who was doing cocaine in class while the teacher wasn't looking. it's so crazy, because well at least with me, you just hear things about different kids. there has even been cases at my old high school where kids been caught dealing drugs in bathrooms.</p>