<p>Hi, this question isn't exactly about Duke, but considering I'm going there next year it would only make sense to post my question here. </p>
<p>Do any of you guys still keep in touch with your high school friends, or did you see yourself detach from those old friendships and replace them with new ones when you came to Duke? If you do keep in touch, how often do you guys communicate, hang out, etc? I'm just really curious since I would hate to lose my friendships back home simply because I go to a far away college (I live in Florida).</p>
<p>You know, your question’s a really personal one that varies based on who you are and how close you are with your HS friends. For someone who went to a HS where they never really fit in and never felt <em>that</em> close with their friends, s/he’s probably not going to keep in touch as much as someone who went to a HS s/he absolutely loved and had the closest of close friends. For me, I went to a HS that was sort of in between these two extremes - I had to change a little to fit in, and while I made some awesome friends, I’m definitely a lot closer with my Duke friends. During winter and summer breaks during and after my freshman year at Duke, I spent a lot of time with those HS friends. Then winter break during sophomore year, I saw them a decent number of times. I was barely home after sophomore year, so I didn’t really see them, and then I was abroad 1st semester junior year. I saw them a few times over winter break, but I won’t see them at all this summer since we won’t be at home at the same time. The amount we talk on the phone/Skype during the school year has also decreased progressively over the years. This decrease in communication/contact is something I’d have liked to avoid at all costs when I first got to Duke, but now it kind of seems natural that we’d drift a bit. Yes, we’re still really interested in how each of us is doing, but we’re no longer that tight-knit bunch who do everything together. Sad? Maybe. Natural? I think so.</p>
<p>I am going to butt in as a parent. There is a time later on when you may be having kids yourself when you will probably enjoy getting to see your childhood friends even more…as your life is not so much about getting ahead in career or getting in colleges or getting a job…and you can stop and appreciate the other aspects of life that make things worthwhile like raising children and knowing people of good character who may not have gone so far as you have geographically but who will still surprise you with their own “riches” in life and you will remember them more fondly again after the college years are not so immediate anymore. I am much more interested in my high school friends as an older adult than I was in my 20s…when so many of you will be searching for your livelihood and for your significant others.</p>
<p>I guess I would disagree with the prior statement. I have not kept up with any high school friends, but rather, keep up with a fairly large group of my collegiate classmates. Probably depends upon how close to your hometown you end up living, along with other factors. I am quite a different person that the young high school boy who left his small town for a large urban university, so maybe that is some of it also.</p>
<p>Bottom line is don’t get caught up in trying to live two lives. High school was high school. You can maintain some friendships, but a successful college experience is going to expand your horizons, and you will change to some degree. Thus, some friendships may continue from high school, but some (or possibly all) will not.</p>
<p>ummm…I wasn’t clear. I am involved with college friends to a great extent and they also have been much much more of a part of all formal occasions, births, deaths, wedding as 30 years have passed to almost the exclusion of my high school friends…but in middle age, I took a greater interest in my earlier friends and grew to newly value and appreciate them again…as we all face aging parents and some returns to our roots in various ways…depending on your personal circumstances.</p>
<p>Once you get to college, it’ll become really clear which high school friends were your true friends - and which ones were just friends of convenience.</p>
<p>I had a big circle of friends in high school, but also a close core of my two best friends that I went to middle school with. Now, as a sophomore, the ONLY people that I still care about and keep in contact with are my two best friends. The rest have sort of fallen away and to be honest, I don’t miss them. </p>
<p>The lesson learned is that when you make friends, find friendships that are keepers. It’s not hard to make a lot of friends and acquaintances: the difficult thing is to make very close, meaningful relationships. That takes time, effort, emotional investment and can even be hair-pullingly frustrating and painful at times. But in the end it’ll be worth it because the bonds your form will last.</p>
<p>Okay, I really enjoy the variety of responses you guys have given. It’s just that that’s one of those things I really don’t want to see happen with two friends I currently have, but I guess only time will tell what happens. </p>
<p>More responses would be greatly appreciated! I’m sure other incoming freshman would like to know how fellow Dukies feel about the subject.</p>
<p>I’ve still kept in casual touch with some of my high school friends. For this, honestly, Facebook is amazing. It lets you talk to old friends and keep each other updated on your lives. Even though we can’t see each other or talk on the phone, just seeing the occasional message from one another gives you enough contact while you’re away.</p>
<p>I always meet up with friends when I return for breaks. It’s really important that you have to take the initiative to keep the friendship up, because sometimes the other person won’t. Since I went out of state of college while most of my friends didn’t, I dropped my their campus for a few days in a row just to meet up with some people. I ended up reconnecting strongly with one of my best friends. </p>
<p>Best advice: keep in contact, even if its the occasional text or message through Facebook. It’s really easy in college to get caught up in new friends and new experiences, but if you want to keep your old friends, you have to work a bit harder. I love hearing from old friends, swapping stories about colleges, and reconnecting every time we meet. You might lose a few friends in this transition, but you will stay close to those who are really important.</p>
<p>Another parent here. My daughter doesn’t do college confidential and responders may have a unique perspective. More kids willing to travel far from home.My daughter went to the same school from age 4 to 18. Yes; you read right. She was scary (to me) close to a group of about six, and extremely stressed about life without them as graduation approached. I was proud that she did not let this stop her from being the only one who left the state. She felt I could not possibly understand her concerns, and I thought I didn’t. I went to two different high schools, and left the last one early, without looking back. Fast forward to my daughters second year; As the girl scouts say “Make new friends, and keep the old !” She did.Breaks are different. Facebook is her friend. Things have changed, but I don’t think she thinks of it with sadness.</p>