<p>Parents - if you have any words of wisdom to share, please post them here. I'll start:</p>
<p>1) Start college search early and don't get caught up on the "name."
2) Start on essays really early to give your child time to make changes. After submitting her essay for early application, she made more changes to the essay and it was way better for RD application...but too late for the EA.
3) For selective colleges, if your child has not yet found the cure for cancer, then send them to a third world country for service hours...(okay, I'm being sarcastic...but what does a smart child have to do to get into these colleges!!!)</p>
<p>4) Show your real passion for something - be very involved in it - and be able to share that passion - no matter what it is - with the college admissions folks. Kids don't have to be spread so thin that it appears that the resume is just embellishment.</p>
<p>1) Don't immediately rule out schools you haven't heard of. Cast a broad net - there are some excellent admissions values to be had if you are flexible and open to exploring a wider range of options.
2) Don't immediately focus on highly competitive schools, or brand name schools. Once you fall in love with Harvard or Stanford, it is almost impossible to fall in love with other colleges.
3) Think of your college search like building a house. You start with the foundation, and make sure it will hold - those are the schools that you like and that you have a high probability of getting into. Next, build the walls - schools that will form the structure of your college list. Those are schools that you have a solid shot at. Finally, build the roof - the schools that are just out of reach - and there are some that are "roof" schools fo reveryone. If you build the roof before the foundation and walls, you have not built a solid list.
4) Try very, very hard not to talk too much about which schools you or your child are applying to with others - friends, neighbors, relatives, the mailman, people on CC. Everyone will be happy to offer an opinion, but the only opinions that really matter in the end are your child's and the admissions office.
5) Let your children know again and again that where they get in is not the measure of who they are.
6) Let your children know again and again that if they are rejected, it will not be the end of the world (read #7 again)
7) Believe that your children can be happy and successful at many different colleges - and make sure they believe it as well.
8) Give yourself and your child permission to not make getting into college the main focus of your life over the next few years. There are much more important things in life.
9) Keep your sense of humor - remember you are not perfect and neither is your child. Laugh at the inevitable bumps along the way.
10) Hug your child at least once a day, three or four times a day when they're filling out applications.
11) Remember this is your CHILD'S college search, not yours. Don't make it personal.
12) Don't let college applications and the college search get in the way of your relationship with your child. Love them for who they are, not what you wish they could be so they can get into a "better" college. Most importantly, don't waste the last two years (or more!) of the limited amount of time you have with your child living at home worrying about college. Take time to enjoy them because they will never be quite the same as they are at this very special turning point.</p>
<p>Trust your kid--you'll be amazed at how well things turn out (or don't). In any case, it's your kid's process & you are just secretarial & technical support & checkbook.</p>
<p>Remember to have honest & realistic discussions with your kid about finances, other demands on finances, merit & need-based aid options, and find some financial safety schools that everyone is comfortable/happy with.</p>
<p>After your kid is accepted, ask questions. You & your family are in the driver's seat. This is the most power you & your family will have in the college process to choose the school that will be the best match for the student. Don't shy away from awkward or hard Qs--better to know than guess wrong.</p>
<p>don't be afraid to step outside the box if it better suits your child's passions/interests. EC's don't always have to be school oriented, they can be community activities and/or groups also. Don't keep your child focused on groups that are usually attended by high school students -- my sone has learned so much in the book clubs and discussion groups where he is the only on under the age of 50.</p>
<p>build the college list during sophomore/early junior year. Add as many colleges as they want -- ones that they hear mention, visit, like the brochure, etc. This list can be huge. End of junior year is the time to start narrowing the list -- not earlier.</p>
<p>Try not to eat very often. Those grocery bills sure add up, and a dollar spent on hamburger today is a dollar you won't have for tuition tomorrow. Same advice about driving... you didn't really want to get to work tomorrow, did you?</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Starting freshman year, have them keep a running record of volunteer activities, club involvement, special awards and recognition, notable moments (which could provide the basis for an essay). You'd be surprised how quickly students forget what they've actually done in high school!</p></li>
<li><p>As previously mentioned, enjoy these last years of high school - when they end, one chapter of your family's life closes and another one begins (not to sound too maudlin).</p></li>
<li><p>Realize that during this time of transition that a mixture of emotions can run high - allow time for extra love, grace, and humor.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Wow, great posts. I think one of the best suggestions is to start checking out the lesser known schools. There is not a lot you need to find out about HPY to clinch applying there if your kid is a likely candidate. The hard part of that college list is finding the true match and safety schools that still meet some of the criteria that you and your child have. I don't need to visit Williams to know I'll love that school, but some of the lesser known LACs that can give just as much attention and have great academics are not familiar to me. Getting info on some of those schools is more challenging because many of the schools not listed in the Pope books do not have much in the way of third party narrative descriptions. I wish someone would compile somebooks on the other couple thousand colleges out there that are not in the Fisk, Princeton Top 300 or Underground College Guide. I also believe that some of the Pope schools are depicted with a bias since he was trying to make a point, well made, and the schools all mentioned are worthy of examination, but...an unbiased critique of some of these schools is needed. Kids looking at NorthEast Ohio vs SouthWest Ohio U could use such a guide. A friend of mine whose daughter did into the name Georgia state schools, and was pretty much limited by finances to the state schools, did not have a lot to go on when looking at them. She ended up at Georgia Southern, and there was no info that described the school. Just a bunch of inpersonal stats.</p>