<p>So do you think that it is okay and ethical to hit on undergrads who are in a class you are TAing for? Such as asking for a date or whatnot.<br>
On the other hand, how should you respond if an undergraduate hits on you? Is there a line between graduates and undergraduates that shouldn't crossed? The reason I am wondering about this situation is, at least from experience, the undergraduate population seems to be significantly more physically attractive than the graduate population. Or should I forget about the dating scene during my graduate school years and just cram books all day?</p>
<p>Um...I don't think that asking out an undergrad/accepting an invite from an undergrad you're TAing for is a good idea. I've personally been asked out by TAs and it was really awkward because I was put in a position where if I said no, then I wondered if he'd be vindictive and trash my grade and if I said yes, then maybe the only reason I did well in the class was because I was dating him. It's just awkward all around.</p>
<p>I think you could date people who are not in your courses and not in your department but be careful... you don't want to be accused of wrongdoing.</p>
<p>I was actually just thinking about the same thing. Especially for male engineering grad students, the female grad population is just not.... um.. how do I put this... forget it.</p>
<p>But I think 26 year old with 18 year old... hmm might be too large a gap.</p>
<p>Most universities have RULES about this sort of thing. At my university, for instance, TAs are NEVER supposed to get into relationships with students they supervise, tutor, or oversee in any way. The rule we have prohibits ANY person (faculty, staff, TA, RA, GA) from entering into a relationship with ANYONE either actually or potentially under their supervision.</p>
<p>kjanebarnum,
Your TA should have been slapped. By his supervisor. And then he should have lost his TAship. Period. If you had spoken to the Director of Graduate Studies or the Department Chair, he most likely would have.</p>
<p>I personally have a strong antipathy toward grad students who, due to their disregard of professional conduct and proper boundaries, end up being predatory on my undergrads.</p>
<p>And by the way, most grad programs ORIENT grad students to these rules immediately, so ignorance is no excuse.</p>
<p>Yeah, have to side with the wisdom of Prof X here. The only way I could see it being acceptable is long AFTER you are their TA with absolutely zero chance of you ever being their TA again. During my master's I taught in two departments and many different classes and often found myself being the TA for the same student two or three times if not more. Not something I would ever want to risk.</p>
<p>my roommate, a 26 year old phd student, is dating a 19 year old undergrad. i dont think it's a problem... they have a lot in common and it's not like he's taking advantage of her.</p>
<p>Most schools have a policy about student/TAs dating and the policy is generally "NO."</p>
<p>at UCSD, it's one of the first lessons taught in TA training -- you are NOT to have any kind of beyond-standard-friendship relationship with your student or anyone else who may be under your authority. there's no restriction on other kinds of "close" relationships (i TAed my roommates, i've heard of a guy TAing his twin brother) but i think it's up to the individual to maintain a professional relationship with his/her students.</p>
<p>I suppose it also depends on the nature of the TAship. It is obviously inappropriate for a graduate instructor to hit on one his (or hers, but usually his) students. Yet what if your job as a TA entails nothing more than tutoring students when they need help on class materials and grading papers? Does the line still hold in this case?</p>
<p>Professor X: At my university, TAs are NEVER supposed to get into relationships with students they supervise, TUTOR, or oversee in any way.</p>
<p>I think that if you are TAing a class, you cannot date anyone in that class regardless of your duties. I don't think, however, that it means you can't date any undergraduate. I would be reticent to date someone in the same department as I was, but I would be less cautious about dating a nursing student or someone in the sciences, especially if they were near my own age. </p>
<p>I would err on the side of caution, though. You don't want to be dismissed from the university.</p>
<p>Sorry, dude. Think you still have to wait till the end of the semester.:) What is her name?</p>
<p>No really, the key point here is you are still "grading papers" from and "tutoring" her. It would still be crossing a line. Even if you might TA a class she needs later, at that point she can at least switch sections so that it would not be inappropriate. Good luck.</p>
<p>True story:</p>
<p>There was this graduate student at this college that had their students use permission numbers in order to register for classes. He was teaching a rather small yet popular class. To take advantage of the situation, he handed out permission numbers only to those he found physically attractive. At the end of the day, each of the students in his class seemed as if they just came out of the Playboy centerfold.</p>
<p>Wow I would like to rate this as the most interesting thread so far! :P</p>
<p>Yeah, I also knew of a TA that took his undergrads on a "field trip" to the local "adult video/clothing/toy" store. Needless to say that was a "What-not-to-do" story. Which is also why when my students would invite me out to dinner in a group even I would decline. Heck, I refuse to even facebook/myspace my students until after the semester is over, sometimes not even then depending on how "forward" they were.</p>
<p>I "wonder" if I could have used "quotes" more in this post....</p>
<p>really? what happened? do tell!</p>
<p>should've mentioned it with my previous post, but i did end up dating my TA ... four years after I took his class. (it didn't last -- his near-impossible quizzes might have been a contributing factor)</p>
<p>This is the only reason I am going to graduate school! XD</p>
<p>Oh God no. Never date a person in a class for which you are TAing. In fact, I would go further and say never date a student who may end up in a course you TA or teach. Many universities have rules about this, but even the ones that don't expect you not to do it. It opens up lots of grading and power issues, and it may affect your references in the future. Grad students are supposed to be professional. This is not professional.</p>
<p>
[quote]
my roommate, a 26 year old phd student, is dating a 19 year old undergrad. i dont think it's a problem... they have a lot in common and it's not like he's taking advantage of her.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Sure, but since he's not overseeing her in any way (such as being her TA), there's not the same power imbalance.</p>
<p>If you're TAing a student, then there <em>is</em> a power imbalance, and this makes dating problematic. Really, a TA hitting on one of his/her students seems like sexual harassment.</p>
<p>If an undergrad is hitting on his/her TA, the TA should just explain how it would be unprofessional/create a conflict of interest for them to date.</p>