<p>Hi. I just found this board last night and I must say it has been quite an interesting time looking through the various posts and reading everyone's opinion. I'm glad there are others out there going through the same thing I am. For some reason, it seems that all my D's friends, children of parents I know, etc. know exactly what they want to do, where they want to go to school and are following lock-step in the process. I don't know anyone whose child has applied to more than 3 schools and who is looking at going anywhere farther than across the state line (if that far). Meanwhile, I encouraged my daughter to explore. And that she has done.</p>
<p>She has applied at a variety of schools. She has been accepted with full scholarships at several state universities and has sizeable offers from a couple of Private Universities. However, her top choices are Emory, Northwestern and USC and if she is accepted at any of these she would really prefer going there. </p>
<p>I feel torn when she asks me what I think. Financially, she can't beat some of the offers she has been given. But if she has the opportunity to go to her "dream" school, is it better to give that a try? Or is it better to bank the money for graduate school and take the scholarship offers?</p>
<p>First, total ability to pay and interest in doing so are key. If families have plenty of money, why worry about cost differentials?</p>
<p>I also think it depends on the specific schools involved. If the academic and fit elements are close, then I believe it is usually better to take the money. </p>
<p>Course of study is also important. With many academic disciplines, graduate school is not a significant expense, thanks to teaching assistantships, scholarship aid etc.. However, professional schools and some other grad degrees can be extraordinarily expensive. Sure, some students will get their MBAs paid for by employers, but you can't count on that.</p>
<p>Finally, and cutting across many elements are the expectations that have been set up for the student. In this case, what has the student been told about the family's ability to pay and the value of various schools? A significant deviation from past positions at school-choice time may create several types of trouble.</p>
<p>Welcome LP! Everyone will have a different answer on this one--but at least your daughter is choosing from several good options. </p>
<p>For our son, the cost did come into play somewhat. There were two schools that would cost considerably more, and one was a favorite but we were out-of-state tuition. Fortunately the other school he liked best wasn't one of the most expensive. Neither was the school that cost the least! </p>
<p>Our EFC has us about where our State Uni would cost, so we are in a unique position.</p>
<p>That is such a hard question. And yet it can't really be answered until you hear from the "dream" schools. You never know what kind of offers they may present. If need is high, she may get offers from those schools that may come close to those received from the ones she has already heard from. If not, she will have to decide what is more important to her, with, of course, advice from you on how much you are willing to pay.</p>
<p>It is wonderful if a student can attend their "dream" school; however, the dream also does not always match reality, and a school that didn't seem ideal at first may end up being just as great as the dream school.</p>
<p>Now how's that for a non-answer? Wish I could help more, but my son may also be facing a similar dilemma in a couple of months...</p>
<p>It took S1 just a few minutes to make his decision when the choices were in. We had him take a last looky see and he did enjoy his visits to the schools, but he held firm. Park of it was he did like the school, but the merit aid really put the school over the top. His schools were really in the Highly Selective Reach, Reach/Match, Match and Safety categories. Only one school accepted in the first category, and he ended up going to the only school in the second category that offered a nice awared. There were some full rides in the other categories, but he struck this balance, and it was an immediate decision. Once it is all laid out, sometimes the right choice does stand out.</p>
<p>Lp - rest assured, you are not the only one struggling with this. See the closed thread[thread]21907[/thread] for lots of posts on the topic. DS also has nice merit award in hand and waiting to hear from one mighty reach. Half hoping it's a decline so there won't be an issue, half hoping he gets the acceptance. I agree with Susantm that we can't really answer until and unless... (my current thinking is along the lines of your last sentence - take the money and bank the savings for grad school, but....)</p>
<p>Lp75 - Your daughter is in the exact same position that I'm in right now. Right now, I'm down to two schools which are Northwestern (March decision) and Michigan (accepted), and I have to firstly say that I sincerely love both of them and would be happy at either. However, Northwestern is my favorite, and if I get accepted there, I'd really like to go (my mom also cringes whenever I bring it up because of the cost as well). Financially, Michigan would probably be the better option for me (in-state with a two year MET), but I know that NU guarantees to meet all financial need (if that's any comfort at all). Right now, I'm trying to get myself set for a possible rejection (so I won't be too disappointed if it happens - which I hopefully won't be because I have another great school that I actually do like waiting for me) but am also doing everything I can to get aid just in case I do get accepted (FAFSA, CSS Profile, scholarships, etc.). Right now, I THINK (stress that - I'm not positive) that we might try it for a year and see how it goes if an acceptance does comes my way. There's always the option of transferring if it does not work out in the end. However, I can't really say whether or not it's the right decision for us or for anyone because I can't say whether or not something is worth doing until it's actually tried (which is really annoying but true). An assessment can't be made until the experience has been lived.</p>
<p>Thank you all! There were some great suggestions and I guess I am fretting over this more than my daughter at this point. But we just completed the FAFSA and when the EFC is larger than some people's annual salary, well it just looks hopeless...</p>
<p>I can say that DD is undecided as to what studies she wants to pursue, which doesn't help. And as far as trying to decide on the school, she tends to go by "feel" rather than any logic. (We drove six hours to visit Vanderbilt because it met her "criteria"--medium size, in a city, had a strong science and engineering program, offered a good social life, etc. and she took one look and decided that the campus had too many trees and it just didn't feel right) By the way, she is not a flake, although it may seem like it after that last statement.....</p>
<p>Reeses414 if you check back here, Northwestern is one of the 3 dream schools my daughter is holding out for. One of the schools where she is accepted with a full scholarship (including out of state tuition) is Michigan State which we know nothing about--other than it is big!-- as we haven't gotten up there to visit yet. (in other words, does it have lots of trees????)</p>
<p>Thanks again everyone. I am looking forward to conversing more with you all as we continue through this process.</p>
<p>Lp75
Michigan State U. has a beautiful campus. Acres of rolling green lawns, ivy covered brick buildings, lots of trees. My oldest was born there (Lansing). Not much to do there btw, or maybe between being poor and pregnant...... :(</p>
<p>Oh yeah, there are lots of trees at State (I was there about a month and a half ago for a basketball game)! I was also accepted at Michigan State, and my brother is a freshman there. I'll come back and write more after school though since i have to go finish getting ready.</p>
<p>Lp75--I would go with the dream. You are an undergraduate only once, and usually that affiliation with a school is much stronger than those with grad schools. (There are exceptions, of course!) But to spend four years of your life at someplace that means so much to you is priceless (sorry if I sound like a MasterCard commercial).</p>
<p>As for grad school, there are many opportunities for funding, e.g., grad assistantship, teaching assistantship, research assistantship. Both H and I put ourselves through graduate school this way without getting into any debt. After getting a BA from an LAC, I received my master's at a large public university because that particular department was the best in the country.</p>
<p>She's not a flake, even the most sensible and driven of kids make decisions like that when looking at colleges - you ought drive 1100 miles (2 solid days) to a school that on paper looks like her best fit, only to have her say - "The last leg of the drive was scary, this is too isolated!"</p>
<p>As for your original question - there is no right answer that fits everyone. even for well-to-do families, that money invested in a college education is money that cannot be put to some other use, perhaps a use that will directly benefit the child. We made this offer to our daughter (as full freight payors) we will give you $100,000 payable over 4 years to go to the state university (which would be free) - this being basically what it will cost us to send her to a private college. Now most adults would have the financial wisdom to take the money (imagine what you current financial state would be if you had invested 100K conservatively at age 21), but she wanted a residential college experience outside our region, with bright kids where she wouldn't be "the smart one". If her instate choice had been Michigan or PlanII at Texas or UVa, this would have been a much more difficult decision, but even the honors program at the state flagship, while quite good doesn't fit (it is heavy in engineering, computer science and business, not the humanities and science which are her interests). The one thing that making the offer does, is it puts a price on the choice, something more concrete for a kid to think about. Now some would say you can't put a price on an education from a school like Northwestern, if your child feels that way, then she has made her choice (that's the point, to really see if the value is there for her).</p>
<p>What if her choice doesn't work out? What if my daughter comes home after 1 year 1300 miles away and says no way? I think that will be a success - she can still go to state U, it will still be almost free (the "freeness" was based on a prepaid tuition plan as well as a generous scholarship) and she will have learned a valuable lesson.</p>
<p>Sometimes holding out for the dream is the way to go. I know a young lady who really wanted to go to Tisch at NYU. Absolutely a goal for many years. When she was accepted, the finances were really an issue as Tisch is the most expensive of the NYU schools with a 10% surrcharge right there, and with theatre related expenses being in Manhattan, the cost can easily fo over $50K. Family EFC was $25K but NYU is notorious for gapping and that is what they did, providing only loans and workstudy. But that is where she wanted to go more than anything in the world and she is working like a fiend to go there. She works 90 hours a week in the summer waitressing at a number of places and grabbing every job possiblility she can during breaks, making a cool $15K herself towards the cost. Her family has tightened the belt financially and are able to not only come up with the EFC but a few thousand more, and they borrow and pass the hat to make up the difference. It is worth it for them.</p>
<p>But another kid may really have to look at that differential between a UPitt cost and NYU's. Is it really that important to have that NYU diploma when the cost diffential is so horrific? $30K a year is what some people live on. And that is after tax. Is that diploma going to make that big of a difference for a 22 year old? Do you and your family really want to make that huge sacrifice for 4 years? Really more if you take out loans. Sometimes the differences are really not worth the sacrifice. Is Emory worh $120K more than Tulane when the merit award brings it to that level? Is BC worth $150K more than Fordham? UMich vs Uof Il for a $160K difference? If the choice is Princeton vs Local College with the price differential, it is one thing. If the choice is a specialized progam vs non program, or if it is truly a dream school, these are all issues that need to be seriously considered, but often the choices are not so black and white.</p>
<p>
[quote]
you ought drive 1100 miles (2 solid days) to a school that on paper looks like her best fit, only to have her say - "The last leg of the drive was scary, this is too isolated!"
[/quote]
Roughly equivalent to my friends who were standing w D at baggage claim in Boston, having flown from Ca at $$cost not to sneeze at. D announced that she didn't want to travel east after all, too far. Haven't even gotten out of the airport before she thinks she's closed the door!</p>
<p>There is a book Voronwe is recommending on the Parent's Forum , "Please Accept My Kid" that addresses this very syndrome. One chapter is titled "What a great day for a college visit, too bad you have to take your kid."</p>
<p>Back to Michigan State... The school is one of those schools where it is good for some but not for others based on the learning environment there. It's also one of those schools where you get what you make of it (in my brother's words). In my case, that school is not for me. The place is just way too big considering my situation (Michigan is big, too, but it's not as big as State), and I think Michigan or Northwstern would give me a better package because I would thrive better in those types of environments more so than the one that is at State. If you're really thinking about State, you schould try to visit, or at least, snoop around about the school a little bit more. To me, some aspects about the place seem a little shady (some pretty serious aspects...) that don't really impress me too much. I don't want to come off as bashing State (especially saying I was basically raised off of State material - and now I like Northwestern and Michigan better - I'm not sure how that one happened) so I'm going to let you figure this one out on your own. </p>
<p>It's very hard waiting so long to hear from that "dream school" (Trust me. I know since Northwestern is the last school from which I'm waiting for a decision), but it may be best to just wait and hear what offers become available from each school before any decisions are made.</p>
<p>""What a great day for a college visit, too bad you have to take your kid."</p>
<p>I had a chuckle at that one. It makes me remember one or two of or visits, especially at the begiinning when he basically did not want to think about it.</p>
<p>Maybe the real benefit of all the angst of where to go is to get parents and kids ready for the break.</p>
<p>Its funny as I read the above posts, I find myself agreeing with one and then read the next with a different opinion and agree again. I probably will continue to struggle with this until my daughter makes her decision--and maybe even after that. You all have brought up good points on both sides. </p>
<p>I will probably be back here when she has received all the final information asking for advice again.</p>
<p>Regarding Michigan State, the size is a consideration for sure. My daughter has usually not been impressed with huge campuses, especially if they are outside of town. But she has been offered full out of state tuition, admitted to the honors college and offered one of the professorial assitantships as well as money to travel abroad for a semester or summer. It is a great package, and I think it is only fair for her to consider it at least. She just has been so busy with her senior year that we have not gotten up there.</p>
<p>I seem to recall that the honors college at Michigan State is a true honors college and not just a marketing device. Definitely worth at close look.</p>