<p>So I don't usually post here, but I wanted advice and I don't know who to ask. I'm a freshman, just entering my second semester. At the beginning of my first semester, I was really homesick for about the first two to three weeks. I'm going to school on the opposite side of the country (about six hours away by plane), so it's difficult for me to go home "just because." I really miss my family--I love spending time with them and it's hard when I realize that I won't see them for a long time. My feelings of homesickness "went away" for most of my first semester. (I put "went away" in quotes because, while I wasn't crying myself to sleep anymore, I still think that, if I had been given the choice to go home at any point, I would have chosen home.) I did enjoy my classes, and I did well in them. I also really like the location of my college (it's in a city), and I've had a great time exploring the city. At the same time though, I haven't made any close friends, although I have met people who I hang out with. I have yet to find a close group of friends like I had in high school, or even people that I can imagine becoming really close with. </p>
<p>Now, after I've returned from a great month-long vacation at home, it's like I've been hit with another wave of homesickness. (I seem to get more homesick after every time I see my family. For example, my mom visited me last semester and left me way more homesick than I had been before. It's gotten to the point where I simultaneously look forward to and dread seeing my family, because I know that I'll have to go back to school eventually and I'll be even more homesick when I do.) I don't feel like there's anything wrong with the college I'm at, and I don't think transferring to a closer school is really a possibility--I feel like I would still be homesick even if my school was in the same state.</p>
<p>I'm not sure what I'm expecting in the way of advice, maybe just writing down my problems will be some help--but are these feelings normal? Should I just try to stick it out? I already am looking forward to summer (but again, dreading it because I know that it will end and I'll have to start another year). Any help, especially from someone who has dealt with something similar, would be appreciated.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice. I feel like I have been taking all the traditional advice that I hear given to freshman (get involved on campus, find activities you're interested in), and I have definitely been interacting with people (sorry if I gave the wrong impression in my first post). For example, I spent most of today hanging out with a couple different people, and I was pretty successful in distracting myself from my homesickness. But once I was alone in my dorm room doing my homework, I just felt it all come back. Suddenly I felt myself thinking about what my family was doing, and all I wanted to do was go back home.</p>
<p>And I know that college will be gone before I know it, I just wish I was able to enjoy this time rather than thinking that it will all be over soon. I've always been the type of person who, when I'm with a big group of people, I would rather just be home. So at this point I'm beginning to question my decision to go to college so far from home. Since I don't feel like there's anything specific that's "wrong" with my college that needs to be fixed, how should I cope with this homesickness?</p>
<p>Also, I haven't talked to my parents about my homesickness. I feel like, if I do, I'll just start crying on the phone, I won't be rational, and it will just make it worse. (I never call my parents crying, partly because I don't like to admit that I'm homesick, and partly because I don't want to give my parents any reason to worry about me, especially since I know my mom misses me a lot.) Do you think that telling my parents about this would be helpful or would it just make things worse?</p>
<p>I'm also a freshman and kinda dealing with the same thing as you except I'm only a few hours from home. I still don't plan on going home at all. I was very homesick the first few weeks. I'm going into my third. I do feel it's hard after being home for a while. I had a 6 week break. I found a small club that I'm really interested in and have meet some people who I really like. In college you keep making friends. You have made connections and I'm sure you'll meet someone you really like soon. My sister is the perfect example. she is a senior in college. She never comes home, never calls, is supper supper involved and has tons of friends. She has more friends than I can imagine. She recently told me that she didn't feel like she made any close friends for a least a semester or so. I kinda have the opposite problem. I meet a handful of people I really liked and we all got really close and hang out all the time. They are some of the best friends i've ever meet, but now I'm having trouble meeting more people because I don't have a lot of friends. But, I have meet a lot more people this quarter becuase I have become more active in the club I mentioned. I would suggest telling your parents. They can be a great support system. I don't like to talk about this sorta thing with friends so I call home when I feel down. It can be nice to call home in the evening, email frequently or use video chat. They care about you and would want to help you through this. Maybe they'll come visit you or send care packages. It is always nice to have atleat one person to talk. Also, one thing I have been doing a lot this quarter to meet more people, is to take advantage of every oppertunity. If someone invites you somewhere, go whether you really want to or not because you may meet more people through them. I know what you mean about the evenings. My rommate didn't come back so I always get homesick in the evenings. Sometimes I go to the library to do homework and that kinda takes my mind off it.</p>
<p>I forgot to mention another thing that helps a little this quarter. I tried to make my dorm more comfortable. It's pretty hard to do with a dorm but if you can feel at home and comfortable it helps. My first quarter I didn't and I only had one seat which was really uncomfortable. Now that my roommate is gone I have a couch even though it's about a decade older than me and a nice rug that made my room feel more comfortable and homie. I think the key with not feeling homesick is to feel like you would consider your school home somewhat. I love my college and the small town it's in and really love being there. The more connections you make, the more time you spend on campus and the more you like it, the less homesick you will be. Sorry for rambling so much and hope some of this helps. Just remember, you aren't the only one feeling like this.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the advice, I really appreciate it. Things have definitely started to get better in the past couple days. I took your advice and talked to my parents, and it did help.</p>
<p>Kate,
I am dealing with the same exact thing. We seem to think the same way. Last semester, I got mono & strep and had to be home for 10 days. I broke up with my boyfriend and switched roommates. Yet despite all of that, I wasn’t really that homesick. I had a really great break at home and was extremely sad to come back. I tried to talk to people and see if they were homesick too, but most were not. I’m only about 3 hours from home, but I’ve considered transferring to a school in my town. I’m actually really homesick right now, but have a few tips that may work.
People say to join a bunch of clubs, however I’m kind of shy and that tends to overwhelm me. It may help if you have a close friend that you can take to an organization fair with you or something.
Don’t compare yourself to other people. A lot of people suffer from what we do, but many many do not. You’re allowed to feel whatever you need to.
I don’t know if you’re religious, but going to church has helped me a lot…Please don’t be offended if you aren’t religious Just a suggestion
It may be said that these are supposed to be the best years of our lives, but who cares what others think? Just do your best and your time will come!
5)I think it will eventually get easier. It really helped me to read your post because I’ve been struggling too! You’re not alone! And try not to worry about your next break!</p>
<p>I hope you feel better. I’ve called my relatives numerous times crying this week. Just remember that college is temporary!!</p>
<p>I am a high school senior, but my parents live on the other side of the world and I have been going to a boarding school for the last 3.5 years, so I might have some advice for you. I still get depressed whenever I have to return to school from breaks, and this is not because I am antisocial. I have no friends in my home country, and all my best friends are day students at my school, so you would think I am not homesick. No, in fact, I am still homesick. A non-traditional advice I can give you is that you should not talk to your parents or anyone from home. I mean, only email or IM them for a while, maybe two weeks to a month. I feel like this helps reduce the emotional attachment you still have to home.</p>
Hi everyone. I just came back from 2weeks holiday form home n in college right now. M feeling so sad n bad. I feel homesick n I don’t like the place where I am right now. I miss my pstents so much. Please help me.
Hi. Can u guys help me as well. Just came back from 2weeks holiday from home and feels like crap. Miss my parents too much n home. In the college doomroom right now.
Just a suggestion