<p>Help! Son has been at college 5 days--called and is homesick. Also just started seeing a girl at home whom he really likes and misses her. He doesn't like college. I tried telling him to "buck it up", but am worried about him, as he sounded so depressed on the phone.
What do I say to him?</p>
<p>It takes a little while to make new friends. It will get better soon. Of course he misses home and gf, but this is normal and will ease up. Transitions take time. He's doing so great. He needs to get out and find some clubs, intermural teams, activities. Work out in the gym or find an art studio and paint. Joining something is the best idea--instant structure and friends. </p>
<p>Chances are he is already on the right path and after leaving you weak in the knees with concern, he's on to a better day already. You're the coach so don't let him bring down your confidence in him.</p>
<p>Best of luck and let us know when things get better.</p>
<p>Did your son really want to go to the college he is at? Can he talk to his RA and advisor to see if there can be any changes to make him happier where he is now (i.e. does he need a different roommate, different classes, etc.)</p>
<p>It's good that he is calling and talking to you. IMHO< the best thing you can do is keep listening to him and know you care and are thinking of him. I agree with madbean that it takes a while to settle in - he's made a major change and there is a period of adjustment. Maybe suggest he take it one day at a time for now, that it is really way way too early to tell if he "likes college" or not. Whatever his interests outside of academics were in high school, he cau pursue those in college as well.</p>
<p>In addition to a RA, maybe he could check out the college's counseling center. Some of them have sessions on adjusting to college life, both social and academic aspects, that could help. He'll be fine.</p>
<p>A couple of parties and a new girl will cure all. It might take a few months to get into the swing of it but most schools are full of girls that will make you forget the one back home pretty quickly.</p>
<p>Thanks to all of you for your advice and suggestions.
That's why I like this web site!
Will let you know in a few weeks what transpires--now just encouraging him to take one day at a time.</p>
<p>This was my advice on another thread: be there to listen, but do not try too hard to "fix" things. This is a big adjustment, and every kid goes through it his/her own way. Most, by far, do just fine.</p>
<p>I know boys are different than girls in some ways, but even boys get homesick - we just don't hear about it, because they often keep it in. You are fortunate that he is sharing with you. Listen, let him know it will get better, then hang up & cry (if you need to). Plenty of us have been in your shoes. He will feel better week by week. My D went through it. My nephew did, too, and it was really surprising - none of us expected he would have a tough time adjusting. In the end, both D & N were fine. It just takes time.</p>