<p>Tell him to hang in there, as son has learned that one test does not make the class! And, keep in mind, labs and HW are bound to count for something. Most important, talk to the professor! Son has found that the office hours and help sessions(freshman) were very helpful. And, as Kr123 mentions, consider having him talk to his advisor. The First Year Studies program is phenomenal-not just with regard to classes, but the support that it offers. Tell him to take advantage of all that it has to offer. Good Luck to him!</p>
<p>Again, thanks for the support and prayers. I will email him with your advice. I annoy him terribly when I offer advice verbally. I really need to work on stepping back and on letting him handle things. He's a good guy. I wish I could find the proper balance between being supportive and getting neurotic :)</p>
<p>I'm with you 4 mom4 that balancing act is hard</p>
<p>The cell phone is a wonderful thing... At this point, I think what my daughter misses most is sleep! She's doing the running club and competing in 10K's, she's singing in the Gospel Choir, she's got an on-campus job, and she's definitely into the social aspect of things. Now, with a few tests under her belt, I think she's going to step back a little bit from the social aspect of things, but not too much. </p>
<p>One nice thing about having been there myself is, well, I've been there myself. I remember the scramble while everyone tried to establish an identity on a campus of former strangers, I remember how people used to freak out about tests and do so publicly--to the point where I wondered if they were trying to psych people out. I remember some people really having a hard time coming to grips with not being #1, and some people not having a hard time at all conceding the top rung to someone who cares about it more than they do. I remember people going out and getting absolutely blitzed and doing stupid things that defined them on campus for the rest of the year. </p>
<p>And so I've told her...pace yourself. You had the sense to balance academics, choir and sports in high school, achieving the kind of things that got you into ND. You know what you need to do to be ready for a test. If that takes you four hours, and the girl next door is studying 12 hours for the same test, don't sweat it. She is not you. Compare yourself to yourself. </p>
<p>I've also told her--and absolutely believe this to be true--that college is a time when you start to set priorities. If going out socially or staying in to study is going to make the difference between a 3.3 and a 2.7, keep your butt in your dorm and study. But if it's going to make a difference between a 3.8 and a 3.3, and these are really people you get a lot out of being around, then mix and mingle. I've never had anyone ask me what my GPA was, except on a form. If it starts with a 3, you are fine... Otherwise, grasp as much of the experience as you can hold on to, so long as it satisfies, fulfills and enriches you. Shoot for B's as a base. If you have a chance at an A- or an A somewhere, go for it, to offset the occasional B- or C. </p>
<p>One foot in front of the other. This is how she operates. It was this same mindset that ultimately earned her a #4 ranking in a class of 142. It's kind of like when she sets out to run a 10K and says she's just doing it for the fun, since she doesn't run on a cross country team anymore. Then she gets in the race and her own nature kicks in and she digs in her heels and starts passing people. </p>
<p>Mainly what I've been telling her is that she has great instincts, and she needs to trust them. Her own inner drive is going to do just fine for her, as it has for her all her life. Big thing is not to get freaked out about all the people freaking out around you...</p>
<p>Remember, though, this is a kid who says she's got the only parents that ever told her in high school to turn off the computer and put the books away "because sometimes in life you just have to do a half-***ed job."</p>
<p>i like your advice a lot!!! (even though i'm gonna fail my econ quiz tomorrow because you just convinced me to go out and have fun tonight!!</p>
<p>as far as the SMC vs. ND girls thing--form my experiences, it's really just a joke around campus and everyone realizes it and just laughs at it... i have barely hung out with any SMC girls at all and no one in my dorm really does either...</p>
<p>I think she's tired of hearing it though...jokes can wear thin after a while.</p>
<p>Who are these cretins talking about where the hot babes are? Precisely whom are these brilliant pickup lines supposed to attract? </p>
<p>The Domer versus SMC Chick thing, as well as the ugly Domer girl thing, were on the radar even back in the early '80's. </p>
<p>My son believes it stems from the fact that the girls from St. Mary's have to make an effort to come over, quite often for a social event. Like many Domer girls do as well, they will dress up a bit, put on makeup, yada, yada for a party. Domer girls, however, are on the campus 24-7, going to classes, going to work out, going to study, going to eat. They don't dress up for these things--why should they? </p>
<p>His personal preference is Domer women; he likes the intellectual aspect of a relationship, and Domer women are, if nothing else, smart as a rule. He also likes women who are willing to work up a sweat athletically, because he likes to do athletic things, too. As a matter of fact, he personally likes to get a look at a girl who's just run a race or played a game--you get to see the natural glow without the makeup. Once the makeup's on, you don't really know totally what's underneath. </p>
<p>Some guys, I guess, would rather be fooled.</p>
<p>Anyhow, it's generally been my experience that guys who gripe about the quality of women (a) haven't had any women show interest in them (b) aren't going to have any women show interest in them. So, what do they do? Gripe about how ugly the women are, and drive them even further away.</p>
<p>Tell your daughter guys like that do her a favor of revealing what jerks they are up front, so she doesn't have to waste her time trying to get to know them better...</p>
<p>When my son told my daughter that her particular dorm is not known for its hotness (then proceeded to tell her which ones were)--the virtual equivalent of pulling her pony tail or chasing her with a bug--I was quick to point out to her that any guy, in the presence of a woman he finds attractive and nice, isn't going to care what dorm she lives in...and, in some cases, what planet she lives on. </p>
<p>Let's face it, when in a certain zone, guys aren't necessarily engaging themselves rationally....</p>
<p>As per the guys talking about ugly Domer chicks, they spout this stuff to make it appear to the other alpha males around them that the fact that no Domer women are interested in them is their choice--not the choice of a women. Guaranteed, if some hot Domer babe came there way--(a) they wouldn't know what hit them and (b) they wouldn't go checking her student ID.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Domer women are, if nothing else, smart as a rule.
[/quote]
True dat, dd.</p>
<p>"Anyhow, it's generally been my experience that guys who gripe about the quality of women (a) haven't had any women show interest in them (b) aren't going to have any women show interest in them. So, what do they do? Gripe about how ugly the women are, and drive them even further away."</p>
<p>Lol, this is true...anyone else remember Kaleidoscope McDaniels?</p>
<p>On a somewhat related note, NEVER ask a girl if she goes to Saint Mary's...it just makes ND girls angry...and then they, hot or not, won't want anything to do with you...</p>
<p>ddjones makes a good point about SMC girls being here only for social events. All the girls look better on the weekends when they are putting in effort.</p>
<p>Mombot - The mandatory seminar was a bunch of garbage. They did try to scare us. One example they gave was essentially a girl who was perfectly prepared for a chem test, had studied, knew everything, and did well on practice tests, etc. She got a 36. What the lady forgot to mention was that the girl either had a mental breakdown or the test was unfair. I figured that part out on my own. Aside from the scare tactics, I felt I was in middle school again.</p>
<p>As a sidenote, the lady who gave the lecture cannot even make a schedule. I saw her instead of my advisor for some reason, and I can honestly say I could have learned how to make a schedule and fix mine before she made mine. She is really incompetent, and I have very little respect for her.</p>
<p>I haven't been the slightest bit homesick. Maybe I'll be homesick when I go home in the summer...this place is amazing.</p>
<p>It's called being "Domesick."</p>