<p>Have you ever heard of anyone dropping out of college because they were so homesick?</p>
<p>:( I'm really homesick. At first, all of the school work and the activities kept me busy, but now all I want to do is go home. I know, i would never actually leave college to go home, but... its been really hard moving into this new environment. Has anyone else here had a similar problem?</p>
<p>Ok. Let’s assume you do go home. What would you do? It’s too late to register for classes anywhere else. And most likely all of your friends will be gone. My S is a freshman as well and while I miss him I absolutely would not want him to come home. He would be miserable with nothing to do and no friends around. He would regret his decision in less than a day. I can almost bet your parents, while they love you, don’t want you home either. </p>
<p>Instead, go into your school counseling center and ask to talk with someone and then work out a plan to at least make it through the first semester. Chances are that things will have worked themselves out by then anyway.</p>
<p>I’ve heard of people transfering to a school closer to home, but never dropping out.</p>
<p>My advice? Tough it out for the first semester or quarter. Sooner or later (unless you plan to live at home for the rest of your life), you’re going to have to go through this type of separation. As the poster said above, go to a counseling center or talk to your RA and/or new friends.</p>
<p>And I say this completely understanding where you’re coming from - I just started college 2 weeks ago and I feel homesick already. I just keep remembering why I’m here and what I like about college and understand that I can always go visit home, but I don’t need to live there.</p>
<p>You are definitely not the only one! When I was a freshman (many years ago)I went to school about 3 hrs. from home. I remember trying to find a ride home every weekend because I was so homesick! I didn’t know anyone at school and I didn’t like my roommate. Then the 2nd quarter, I started meeting people and I went home less often By the 3rd quarter, I almost never went home. The 2nd year, I didn’t even go home for summer.</p>
<p>the 1st 6 months are very hard and it is really easy to get homesick. Try to find some activites to get involved in on the weekends; sports, comm. service, clubs. It really will get easier but I know right now it is really hard. Hang in there and try to make it thru the year- next year will be way better!</p>
<p>Trust me, going home will just make it worse. I went home unexpectedly last week because of a former teacher’s funeral, and now that I’m back I’m more homesick than before. Suck it up for a couple more months!</p>
<p>lol I got homesick everytime I went back home</p>
<p>I did it. </p>
<p>But my homesickness was to the point that I was physically ill and mentally very, very unstable. So I withdrew, went home and got treatment, and after a few years of working and taking part-time classes at a local school I transferred to a smaller school about 2 hours from home. I grew a lot in those few years and I have never felt homesick at my new school. That doesn’t mean I don’t want my mom’s cooking or to pat my dog once in a while, but just knowing I could go home if I wanted to is enough to keep me sane. </p>
<p>If the first two weeks went okay, I’m guessing you have normal homesickness that will resolve once you form closer friendships and get involved in groups/clubs that interest you. That’s not to say it doesn’t feel awful. I’m sure it does. However, if your feelings are so intense that they pose a health risk, it’s possible going home would be a good option. </p>
<p>Either way, arrange to speak with a counselor/therapist at your school. It will make you feel soooo much better to tell someone how you’re feeling. They can offer suggestions and hopefully assure you that this is a normal feeling for most freshmen.</p>
<p>yes, one of my friends already has gone home. i dont know if it was homesickness completely, but i know he didnt like it there. he went to school like 2000 miles from home and i dont think he thought it out very well when he decided to go. he flew home for labor day and then a week later he left. i think he is gonna go to a cc now, but i dont know what after that. i dont think its a good idea to go home a lot, and especially to go home this early</p>
<p>thanks for your replies. </p>
<p>yeah- its hard because i can only visit home like once a year because im international 
so far skyping has helped. i know this sounds crazy- but part of me doesn’t want to get over being homesick. im afraid if i get over it, that means i don’t love my family as much and that ill enjoy being away from them more than being with them… the thought of that just scares me. </p>
<p>im very very close with my family, and i feel like my little sis and bro could use an older figure in their life.</p>
<p>… i don’t see how going to a counselor would help. sorry if i sound kind of cynical, but how will talking do any good?</p>
<p>Bumble, the truth of the situation - as it seems - is that you need to make your own life your own responsibility at the moment. You have to leave it to your parents to raise your brother and sister, as they raised you. Growing up and moving out is part of modern life. You will develop a new relationship with your parents and siblings as you mature and become more independent, and you will appreciate this new adult respect even more. It is hard leaving the nest so abruptly (for some of us, anyway), but it is something we have to cope with. Getting over being homesick doesn’t mean you don’t love your family. Loving your family is about respect and support, not about attention or even availability.</p>
<p>I’m not extremely homesick, a lot of my friends are way worse then me. But I threw myself into college. I didn’t overload myself, but I joined the rowing team (why not?!) and some other clubs and I just got myself involved a lot. It’s helped a ton. I also call my mom every day between classes just to chat, which I think helps.</p>
<p>Frankly, I miss my cats more than my parents.</p>
<p>…Not that I don’t love my parents. I mean, you can TALK to your parents, via e-mail or Skype or phone, but your cats…man. I miss my cats.</p>
<p>I was so homesick in my freshman year I could not swallow food – everything had to get past a lump in my throat. It was lousy food, too! All I could think of, when I was not doing homework, was how much I missed my Mom. I am tearing up now, remembering it, and I am a 58 yr old grandmother!</p>
<p>I missed my cats, too. And my daughter missed the cat she’d had since she was 4. This college thing is rough, especially if a family is close. </p>
<p>Bumble, thank God you have Skype – we had phone calls and the phone was in the hall!—and no, your lil bro & sis will not suffer by your being in school. </p>
<p>Your concern that if you have a good time you will be loving your family less are really great proof of your love for them! Don’t let this worry you. Your parents raised you all these years assuming you would go to college somewhere like you are now. No one doubts your love for them; you should not be doubting it either!</p>
<p>Use your email, and your Skype, and send some surprises to the sibs — like postcards or small presents unique to your college town—thinking about surprising them will take some of the sting out of being away. Get involved in some community service activity—doing for others takes your mind off yourself. Maybe finding some friends from the same country you are from will help take the sting out of being away. </p>
<p>I hope you’ll be doing better soon!</p>
<p>“… i don’t see how going to a counselor would help. sorry if i sound kind of cynical, but how will talking do any good?”</p>
<p>Bumble, in a way talking to a counselor is similar to coming here to CC. It’s a good place to vent your feelings, get constructive feedback, and put together a plan for how to move forward. You could even look at like having a surrogate that stands in for your supportive family to help see you through.</p>
<p>Try to go and be with people as much as you can.
Don’t isolate yourself, it only makes things worse. To be alone with just your sad thoughts will only magnify your feelings of homesickness. Remember, the way that you feel today may not be the way you feel tomorrow or next week or even next month. Hang in there - go talk to a school counselor (that’s what they are there for). Many many kids go through exactly what you are experiencing, it may feel like it, but you are not alone. Good luck :)</p>
<p>Bumble - I would advise transferring to a community college near home, and commuting. It is more important that the classes be completed in a timely manner than to have some kind of mystical experience that the college marketing departments are always touting. It is also the more cost-effective solution, so from that angle, who can lose?</p>
<p>That is just the opposite of me. Ever since like 7th grade I was anticipating college, and now that I’m here I love it. I could go home if I wanted to, but I’d rather just call my family once in a while.</p>
<p>Is it worth not having to pay for dorms? At ODU, the dorm cost is about $700/mo, so for 9 months that is $5,4K. So, is being able to sleep there worth 5 large?</p>
<p>That’s cheaper than most apartments once you factor in rent and utilities, so unless you’re really hurting for cash I’d move out</p>
<p>Apartments are not in the equation; it is $5,4K compared to $0 (or much less than $5,4K) to live at home and commute. Given the interest rate on unsubsidised loans, one cannot afford to be frivolous.</p>