Hi everyone,
I’m a second semester freshman at a midsize Catholic university. My first semester was no problem at all: I got a 4.0, I lost 20 pounds, and I was rarely homesick! The only time I felt it was during the 7-week stretch between midterm break and Thanksgiving break, but it was pretty mild. However, ever since coming back from a month-long winter break in mid-January, I have been a homesick wreck. It started in mid-February, when my anxiety was pretty bad. My parents came to visit me for Valentine’s Day, and that alleviated it for just a day, and I was back to being miserable and homesick. I managed to make it the next two weeks until our short spring break, but I was awful those days. I was so homesick I didn’t recognize myself, and I’d regularly call my parents in tears. Spring break finally came, and I was so happy for those five days. I was able to see my parents, my brothers, and my dogs, sleep in my own room, cook, go to my job at home, and not have to wear shower shoes. When I came back this past Monday, the misery kicked in almost immediately after my dad helped me drop my stuff off at the residence hall. I’ve been extra weepy lately, not feeling like I want to do anything but sleep and cry. I’m still able to function properly and do all of my schoolwork well and on time, but I just don’t seem to enjoy much. Yesterday, I called my mother in tears, I was feeling so homesick, even though I was just home! Sometimes, it just doesn’t feel like my dorm room or even this campus feels like home, even though I really do love this school and its academics. I’m trying to do more things I enjoy, but that nagging homesickness keeps popping up to distract me. My mom told me February and March are the toughest times for freshmen who get homesick, and that she and another family member went through it too. She suggested getting more involved in the community, which I plan on doing as soon as possible. I never expected my second semester to be this difficult. Even one of my professors has expressed concern for me. I know homesickness will end, it just doesn’t seem like it ever will. Any tips for how to deal with it? I don’t get it. I call my parents every night, text my brothers, and I was just home. I even am going home next weekend!
@emmarose9 hugs to you first of all. My next piece of advice is going to be to stop fighting your feelings and telling yourself that you shouldn’t be having them. This only sets you up for frustration and feelings that you are failing at something that you should be able to handle. Homesickness isn’t a water faucet that you can just turn off. Coping with it is a process. I think it is common for some freshman to feel more homesick after the first semester and first trips home. The newness/shine/excitement/anticipation of going off and starting college is replaced by the reality of having to live in a new place with strangers, do a lot of adult things for yourself, not to mention all the hard work that goes into learning, studying, writing, and doing well in college.
Be homesick. Know that it is a sign that you grew up in a loving home and that is a special thing. Keep talking to your parents about how you feel and be grateful that you can. The other reality is that you can’t go back to childhood now, and you are grieving that a little bit (all part of the process of learning to cope). You aren’t alone, I think lots of young students feel this way, some are better at hiding it than others.
Keep on top of your studies as it sounds like you have, and do take the risk of getting involved in some activities. Spring break has passed and the semester will be quickly coming to an end.
Also, it’s perfectly okay to text or call your parents daily if you want/need to. My daughter is a junior in college at school very far away (she’s in MA and we live in Asia during most of the year), and we text daily and Skype about once a month. It works for us and I know it has helped her cope with her own homesickness that has a way of popping up at really unexpected times, even now that she’s almost a senior.