<p>Hi,
So i'm home for the weekend from my college, which is only an hour and a half away, but i'm already dreading going back. I've only been in college for a little over 2 months (i'm a freshman) and have gone home 3 times and have had my parents come to visit me.</p>
<p>When I first moved in, I was a wreck. I called my mom crying hysterically and was convinced I was going home and leaving college to go somewhere in my hometown, but since that was not an option, I am definitely still trying to cope.</p>
<p>I'm already counting down till the next break (which is less than a month away), but I am still super depressed about going back to school tomorrow. </p>
<p>I’m in the opposite situation. I’m at school now and am dreading going back home. Every time I think about Thanksgiving, I get super stressed out and I’m seriously considering “missing” my flight back home. I really don’t want to go back. Sorry I can’t help you. :</p>
<p>This doesn’t sound like a standard case of homesickness. I think you’re just not ready to be living on your own. I honestly have not met a single freshman at my college who wanted to go home… it’s definitely not the norm to be this homesick, especially two months into school. You should talk to your parents and tell them that you need transfer somewhere closer next semester so you can live at home.</p>
<p>I disagree with JeSuis. Being homesick, even a couple months into the year, is TOTALLY normal. In fact, I’m a sophomore now, and I know many sophomores who look forward to going home for the breaks. I thought I was the only one who got homesick last year, but when I went home for the summer and talked to my high school friends and even some friends from college, I was so surprised to find out that so many of them were also homesick, but they just didn’t want to admit it. I do think you’re feeling homesick a bit on the more concerning end of the spectrum, but it’s not necessarily abnormal. </p>
<p>It is tough at first. Especially if you’re alone in a new place. But you aren’t the only one feeling this way… and what really helped me last year was actually going to the counseling center. I had never done anything like that before, and it really doesn’t matter how homesick you are-- they’ll listen and help. But I would wait at least a full semester, if not longer, before you consider transferring. Last year, I was so preoccupied with transferring (hated my school, homesickness wasn’t the main issue) that I didnt give myself a chance to meet people. Sophomore year is a lot better, which is what so many people seem to say after they get through their first year.</p>
<p>I didn’t feel the homesickness when I first came here. It wasn’t 'till last week when I felt that pang of sadness, so it’s very normal to feel homesick after a long time. I know people who acted fine for a year and then one day they burst into tears because they’ve bottled up their emotions for so long. When I first came to college, I think I knew that I was going to feel sad subconsciously, so I purposefully occupied myself with a lot of homework and activities on and off-campus, but when I have literally nothing to do on certain days that’s when I really feel sad about leaving home.</p>
<p>I’m a freshman and I disagree with JeSuis as well. In most aspects I’m fine-- I go to classes, talk to people, keep busy on weekends, but I can’t wait to see my family again. I’m definitely counting down the days until Thanksgiving. It’s alright here, but I really don’t like the idea that this is my “new” life; I’d much prefer to think of it as a break away from home. And I agree with DJpsu: it’s the days when I have nothing to do that feel really lonely and homesick. I’ve spoken to a lot of people who feel the same way. </p>
<p>Best advice I can give you is to keep busy. It seems obvious but the days where my schedule is packed usually fly by for me.</p>
<p>I think that what you’re experiencing is completely normal. I took awhile to adjust to college too. I go to school about an hour from home and remember the day that my parents dropped me off. It was super rough to see my parents go too. I remember just having a big empty feeling in my gut after they left. It was so weird to be on my own. And I just remember feeling pretty lonely for awhile because I was still trying to meet people and figure out where I fit in. It’s a big adjustment. You are used to living at home with your parents because that’s what you’ve been doing for the past 10+ years and when you start college you are completely on your own. It’s hard for some peopel and takes time to adjust! It’s totally normal so don’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise! Some people just adjust better than others. I am super close to my family, so it was especially hard for me to get used to not getting to see them every day. I am a senior right now and, to be honest with you, I still look foward to going home and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! I love being at school and having fun with my friends, but I also love spending occasional weekends at home with my family. I don’t think that you should worry. It just takes time, but I really do think that with time, you will begin to feel more and more comfortable with your new independent life away from home.</p>
<p>I come home every single weekend. To be honest, I went to college still in love with high school (I want to be a high school teacher or guidance counselor, honestly), and still in love with my high school girl and friends. Eventually, it got to the point where I realized it made no sense to pay to live at school when I was miserable. I transferred, and will be living at home next semester. Wasn’t a matter of not being ready to live on my own; I’m more than able to take care of cleaning my own bathroom, doing my own grocery shopping, etc. and actually enjoy that independence, and when I am home I still take care of my own meals and do my own laundry a lot.</p>
<p>I guess my point is…there’s no need to feel ashamed about homesickness. Just do what you can to keep your family close and talk to them whenever you need them, and make your best effort to enjoy living on-campus. If you do it for a few semesters and realize, you just hate it, re-think the school you’re at an your living arrangements. That’s what I did and I’m really looking forward to going back to working my job, getting my degree, and sleeping in my own bed at night.</p>
<p>This is definitely normal. I’m a sophomore and I don’t get homesick anymore, but last year I had a few similar (yet not as extreme) feelings as you. It’s rough but there’re countless ways to ease the pain.</p>
<p>I’m aware that everyone’s emtions are different, but a few of my recommendations for someone in your case would be:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>Take down all (if any) pictures of family members/home you have in your room. This includes anything that has to do with your high school. While it’s a positive thing to be reminded of those great things in your life, this clearly isn’t the time for you to be thinking about what you have back home. Seeing those things will only make you sadder. It’s time for you to be focusing on adjusting to your new environment and “moving on” if you will from what you left behind. Once you’re legitimately comfortable in the college environment, put the pictures/etc back up and they’ll become more of a happy thing to see rather than sad.</p></li>
<li><p>Remember, you can call your family WHENEVER. I never went home or even called once between move in and thanksgiving (my mother hated me for it), but it’s not irregular for people to call their parents every night and just talk about their day and get caught up. If you start feeling more comfortable, start calling every other day and then every two days and three days and so on.</p></li>
<li><p>Keep busy. Study hard, do your work and try to get involved. Not only will it distract you from being homesick, but you’ll do well in school and meet more people and feel more at home at the college.</p></li>
<li><p>Realize that seperation makes the heart grow fonder. You’ll appreciate and be closer with your hometown and family the longer you stay away. The longer you’re gone, the beter it feels to go back. And I PROMISE you, that will reverse one day and you’ll dread moving back for the summer </p></li>
<li><p>Also, you’re an hour and a half away, doing what most kids our age do, and your family/hometown is carrying on as normal. There’s absolutely nothing to get bent out of shape over. College is what you make of it! You can’t change the situation, but you CAN change how you react to it.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>I understand it’s difficult. But in due time you’ll start feeling more at home than ever. You only go to college once!! :)</p>
<p>Just wondering, is this normal? If so… I’m out of the loop apparently.</p>
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<p>If OP is using the word “depressed” in the clinical sense and not in the colloquial sense, I think a lot of people are downplaying the seriousness of OP’s situation. If by “super depressed” OP means “very sad”, that’s a different story.</p>
<p>JeSuis, even if you did not feel the same way, one of the worst things you could say to someone feeling the way pnkangel012 is, is “that is definitely not normal.”
I understand you may be trying to help, but well, you’re not. </p>
<p>I am currently feeling the exact same way OP, and found this thread while googling “homesickness”. I did not expect to feel sad in any way, shape, or form, and had been counting down the days until I could move across the country to go to college!
And then I got here. I am miserable almost all the time. I dread going to campus. But I don’t blame the school. Other people around me seem to be having the time of their lives! To combat the misery (it may sound like an exaggeration, but miserable is the way I feel) I took a job as an overnight host and an online blogger–two jobs to promote the school. I thought the school spirit may kick-start my happier feelings. So far nothing has happened.
I am counting down the days until Thanksgiving. Hopefully I will feel differently by winter break. Keep me updated, pnkangel012. I truly hope it gets better for you, I know that feeling this way sucks.</p>
<p>Hells yeah college gets old sometimes. I hope I can co-op at home next year and just take a break and relax. What you are feeling is normal, don’t worry</p>
<p>Like I said, my response is really contingent on how OP was using the word “depressed.” I don’t think it’s normal for a college student to be depressed over moving away from home; that’s definitely a sign of not being ready to live on one’s own in my opinion. Let’s face it, some college freshmen are not prepared to be living on their own yet; OP may be one of those freshmen. I’m not helping any less than you describing how miserable you are.</p>
<p>I apologize for my misreading, JeSuis. Thank you for your input. I was simply describing my feelings so the OP knew that she was not alone. That’s all. Although, perhaps it was a bit selfish–it does feel better to write it out.</p>
<p>I did not feel this as a freshman, but after summer break I can empathize.
I too have visited my home once and had my parents come over. I am truly happy when around them, but once I go back to campus I feel a bit helpless. </p>
<p>What I found works for me is to focus completely on my academics and trying to be near a group of people at all times. It helps to think that once all this is over I will be back home.</p>
<p>Although I may not be as “homesick”, maybe more like unsure of what exactly I am doing here.</p>
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