Homesickness...

<p>Any parents have kids who had trouble with homesickness? How did they eventually deal with it?</p>

<p>My parents keep on saying that if I go to far away for school I'll end up getting homesick and suffer academically from it. I live in the Midwest and am hoping to go to school in the Northeast.</p>

<p>the first semester of college was a little tough for my daughter who is soon to be finishing her sophomore year...the homesickness was more for her high school boyfriend that stayed home and went to collgege in the area. It held her back socially, but within 6 months, she broke it off and really dug in to her new life and new school, which she loved from the very first visit.</p>

<p>Her academics did not suffer at all...she thrives in the environment all the way.</p>

<p>I don't think the distance from home has too much to do with it, rather it's more about fitting in and establishing a new life and routine at the school. In one fails to do that they they can be very homesick even if the school is only an hour from home.</p>

<p>The only difference is that if you're only an hour away, you CAN go home easily for a weekend to get your "fix". That said, D is >7 hrs away by car, in her second semester. Most of her emotional "stuff" is because of bf, who's away at a different school. We talk lots of times per week, usually via IM or text message (which has usually been more for mom and dad's benefit)... The key, regardless of how far away you go, is to get involved in things you're interested in, and take advantage of the unlimited activities available to you.....jump in with both feet, and you probably won't have time to be homesick.</p>

<p>Regarding your academics, I think that grades suffer much more in the cases of kids who get to school and can't handle all the new opportunities to drink, etc. etc. that are now available to them. I suspect many more college students miss classes or don't study because of the effects of too much partying and too many late nights, rather than being sad and homesick.</p>

<p>I also agree that being far away from home has much to do about it. I go to school about 3 hours away from home, and I still ended up REALLY homesick my first quarter. It didn't surprise me too much, I grew up getting homesick when I was away from home. However, once I got settled in and being at school started feeling more like home, I was absolutely fine. I didn't have any problem with getting good grades because of it, either (I think you're more likely to have trouble getting good grades if you're a huge partier than if you're homesick). </p>

<p>Anyways, if you know that you're the kind of person that doesn't usually get homesick, you should be fine. I think most kids feel a bit homesick every once in a while anyways...it seems somewhat unavoidable. Obviously its nice to go home every once in a while...but I found it to be easier to deal with homesickness if I didn't go home all the time...it allows you to really adjust without having to go home every two weeks.</p>

<p>Most kids who go farther than a few hours drive deal with homesickness. As rocketman said, part of it is fit - will you start to identify more with your new group than the old friends? Part is the makeup of your future campus. Do lots of students leave on long weekends or is everyone there pretty much until Thanksgiving?<br>
This is one way that schools 'way out in the boonies can be better than in urban hubs - kids stay on campus because there isn't much choice. Lots goes on every weekend on campus. They make their own new life and new bonds.
If there's a significant other somewhere else, you can feel very homesick 3 hours from home and your grades can suffer.</p>

<p>Being close enough to go home easily can cut both ways - it can be a nice break/relief. It can also allow a student to escape the new environment when it might work better to live through "moments" of homesickness and realize that it is usually not life-threatening.</p>

<p>I think someone above said that you may already know whether you'll have a high or low likelihood of homesickness - if you've ever been away to camp, away from family for a few days, even based on how you handled sleepovers as a child. No guarantees, but those can be indicators.</p>

<p>S is as far away from home as you can get. We were very worried that he would be homesick. It was more of a problem for us staying at home, than it was for him. We were son-sick.</p>

<p>His school is a good fit for him, and he has some good friends, likes his program, etc.</p>

<p>I went from Southern California to NY for school. Honestly, I was pretty worried about the homesickness issue, but it hasn't been a problem at all! Chances are, you'll be so busy with classes, friends, and activities that the time will fly by. Especially if you go back for Winter and Spring holidays. If you do get homesick, I'm sure your family won't mind you calling them or emailing them often. Maybe even try to get them a webcam. And schools are very sensitive to the issue and will offer counseling services if you ask. But I honestly don't know anyone that homesick, so chances are you'll be fine.</p>

<p>First off, time flies. Perhaps you've noticed that senior year goes by a lot faster than junior or sophomore? Same applies to freshman year of college. </p>

<p>I am a pretty independent person and don't get homesick too easily. I definitely missed home for the first few weeks, but after getting involved and developing a new routine it's not that difficult to begin creating a new "home." I did find, however, that at times I would get really homesick.</p>

<p>I found that I got most homesick when I got really stressed out. To me, home was the ideal retreat from a stressful school life because it meant I was so far away from my school problems that I could just forget about them. So when winter finals rolled around, and spring midterms also, I was stressed out about grades and performance that all I wanted to do was get home. Ironic, come to think of it, that I would get homesick right before I was scheduled to go home.</p>

<p>My advice to you echoes much of what other people have said: get involved, make a new routine, and don't be afraid to meet new people. Remember that there are hundreds if not thousands of kids on your campus that are going through the exact same thing, and chance are someone is feeling the exact same way you are. You are not alone, but if you should feel that way, there are tons of RAs, counselors, and friends available to help you through tough times. </p>

<p>And then on that random day when you open your mailbox and have a carepackage from Mom, you'll have people to share it with!</p>

<p>College is an amazing opportunity and a great time to really discover a lot about who you are and what makes you tick. You will have the time of your life and will create experiences that you'll remember for the rest of your life. Enjoy it!</p>

<p>
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The only difference is that if you're only an hour away, you CAN go home easily for a weekend to get your "fix".

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</p>

<p>For some, though, going home only reinforces that what you want a "fix" of is no longer available.</p>

<p>If what you miss is your high school, you can only go back as an occasional visitor; you don't belong there anymore. If it's your high school crowd that you miss, well, you can't have that, either. They've dispersed to a variety of colleges. </p>

<p>On the other hand, if what you're missing is your room (no roommate!), your parents and siblings, your dog, your significant other who still lives at home, or the excellent shopping mall in your home town, then visits home may help.</p>