<p>My daughter is homophobic. I am fed up with it! Yesterday, I witnessed her in a conversation with an adult where they were discussing colleges to stay away from, because the colleges allow gay people to go to them, and even live in the dorms. gasp!</p>
<p>Now that I realize that some of the colleges my daughter crossed off the list were due to her gay hate, I am upset. I hate the idea that I would financially support anything that is driven by her hate for gay people, or hate in general. To add to it, there is at least one college on her list where gay people are openly not tolerated. There might be more. </p>
<p>In light of this, would you consider refusing to pay for schools that you know are intolerant of GLB people? Also, I need to add, we live in the bible belt and she has been attending the public schools. I know there has been some serious bullying of gay kids here, and the administration is generally tolerant of that. The kids I have known to be gay have transferred out to charter schools or district transfers or private schools. I only know of two gay kids, but, open gay hate speech is tolerated. This is bad enough, but I am thinking that maybe I do not want to pour any more money in to a college that would further my daughter's gay hate.</p>
<p>How about you just have a nice long conversation (or multiple) with your daughter about why it’s wrong to think what she thinks. Surely that’ll be more effective than simply refusing to pay for anti-LGBT schools.</p>
<p>I am not a ■■■■■! And I do not even know where the other thread is. However, I will go look for it. It might help if you told me the title of the other thread, but I will go look for something about transgendered.</p>
<p>Parent56…Couldn’t find this other post, despite going back a few pages worth. I guess I shouldn’t take someone seriously who goes around calling people trolls. If you suspect someone is a ■■■■■, report it rather than attacking the person. Let the moderators decide. And you are rude! Which is another trait I would rather not see in my child.</p>
<p>i apologize if you think i was rude…however, i am finding it quite disheartening reading cc today with posts about “queer colleges” homophobic d etc. whether one agrees with these views or not, i think people should be tolerant of others views. right or wrong people will disagree about homosexuality, some will be more comfortable, others will not. but too many posts lately are blasting people who have differing views. and imo the more strident disagreements are from those who seem to think they are the most tolerant.</p>
<p>This sounds very much like it’s written by a kid, not a parent. I don’t think it rings true. Furthermore, I don’t know of many cases in which LGBT-friendly and positive parents magically end up with a virulently homophobic child. In the Bible Belt or elsewhere. For the most part, it just doesn’t work that way. The converse is far more likely to be true. So I remain highly skeptical of the authenticity of the OP.</p>
<p>The other post (on the “get it off your chest” thread) most certainly doesn’t sound like it’s written by a person who knows anything at all about trans people. It’s “transgender,” not “transgendered,” for one thing. And no teenage trans person “seek[s] out consultations for the sex change operation [sic].” Good grief. Eightisenough, I suggest you actually go read something about trans people (preferably something written more recently than 1980), and educate yourself, before you spout any more nonsense on the Internet.</p>
<p>If OP is being truthful, her daughter got these beliefs from living in the Bible Belt, an area where LGBT bullying is not discouraged and anti LGBT hate speech is not censored. I don’t think it’s improbable to have parents who are tolerant and a child who is not. At a certain point children form their own views, and they may or may not align with what the parents told them is right or wrong.</p>
<p>OP’s posting history is suspicious, though. </p>
<p>DonnaL, it’s a common mistake (transgender vs transgendered). I don’t think that alone is indicative of anything (but again, OP doesn’t seem to be truthful).</p>
<p>cpu… i live in the “bible belt” and while definitely not as liberal as some other places, i think your statement about the bible belt is a bit too general, dont think that applies across the area as a fact</p>
<p>That post on the venting was not about my daughter. My husband was raised Catholic by very bigoted people. Even my niece has made very homophobic remarks. My niece is my inlaws golden child. And she has always been in Catholic schools. My inlaws have also openly made homophobic remarks. We spend very very little time with them. But when I am around them, mother-in-law actually will flat out tell me that niece (grandchild by my husband’s sister) is smarter, better, etc, than my children. She tells me, and my children, that we are going to hell because they are not Catholic. </p>
<p>Also, supposedly, niece is getting a better education because she is in some Catholic school, that is just an average run of the mill school. The average SAT scores and AP passing rates are lower than the local public schools. The arrogance is very extreme.</p>
<p>Then, in January, niece announced that she was transgendered and wants a sex change operation. I do not know if she is saying this to get a rise out of my inlaws or not, but, there has been a little bit of joy watching her do this. She got kicked out of, or otherwise left, the Catholic school in the middle of the school year. My inlaws are flipped out. And well, yes, I think it is funny. I don’t know if she is doing this just for the reaction or if it is real. But since I really do not care at all about her sexual identity, I am able to just sit back and enjoy my inlaws panicking.</p>
<p>parent56—of course not <em>every single town</em> in the Bible Belt is like that. I lived there for some time. But that doesn’t mean that’s not a dominant sentiment down there, that drowns out the less prevalent voices.</p>
<p>I still don’t buy it. What adult with an IQ and empathy higher than a plant’s “enjoys” their niece’s suffering and thinks it’s “funny”? This could be a tragic situation, if you have any idea of what can happen when a trans teen is rejected by their parents. </p>
<p>Not to mention that even if she were “making it up,” all she would have to do is spend half an hour researching trans issues on the Internet to realize that a “sex change operation” (even if people still called it that, which they haven’t in a very long time) isn’t even close to the first step in transitioning. More like the last step, and not something that happens to teenagers in any event, or to most trans guys (assigned female at birth) at all, since the applicable genital surgery isn’t even close to being perfect.</p>
<p>To answer the original question - yes you can pay that you will not fund a school that doesn’t have a non discrimination statement. - you can look j some up if need be. You need to be clear that you won’t stand for discriminatory practices of all kinds though so if you haven’t yet you should talk with your daughter. As for your niece it must be very confusing for her. However it’s quite rare in the girl to boy direction and the kids rarely start by saying ‘I want a sex change’ just so you know.</p>
<p>It was once thought that this was the case, but in the last 10 or 15 years it’s turned out that it’s actually pretty much equal. If anything, it’s been considerably more common in that “direction” among college-age kids, largely because visible gender variance is (generally speaking) still far more culturally acceptable, and has fewer adverse consequences, for people assigned female at birth than for people assigned male at birth. Only in the last few years are we beginning to see more trans women (assigned male at birth) come out in college.</p>
<p>Ps I agree OP does not sound very mature and the terms used are suspicious. It could be one of those threads where s.o ends up saying since it’s okay to refuse a discriminatory school it’s okay to refuse a non discriminatory school - worded differently.
Even at evangelical schools - at least the reputable modifies - the position on homosexuality has evolved greatly. Even at Baylor . :)</p>