Honest answers

Hey guys,

I forgot to mention this but my failures, thus far, have been mainly attributed to my father being mentally and emotionally absent in my life . Since the eighth grade he has been in and out of mental institutions and has been diagnosed with a severe mental disorder that forces him to become extremely bipolar and constantly irritated. Every other day there is some type of fight in the household between my mom and dad. I understand that many people have had to endure the suffering of their mom/and or dad being taken from this world but after a year or two and after the grieving is over, so is the melancholy mood. In my situation, my father mentally brings the entire family down with his comments and statements towards the family. After every fight he blames all of us for his illness and wishes that he’d be dead at times so he’d be away from us . Mentally, that takes a significant hit on all of us. On multiple occasions he’s made me walk miles and miles back home from school because he felt as if I was not deserving for a ride. I’ve lost a plethora of relationships because of him and his behavior. The love between myself and my father and my mother and my father is completely lost. To be honest, having him around physically is worse mentally, than having him around at all…

The point of this was not for sympathy or empathy but to inquire if colleges actually do read essays and if this counts as somewhat justification for my 3.9 W and 3.0 UW GPA which I know is pathetic but I swear I am capable of much better. I am heading into my junior year and do plan to take 5 AP classes and get A’s in every class for both semesters but can you guys please tell me what my gpa would look like by the end of the year if I get all A’s on all 5 of the AP’s im taking this year for both semesters, also, please LIST good colleges that are known for meticulously reading their applicants essay and tend to give the benefit of the doubt because I really need it, it has been really tough this past 4-5 years

Your GPA would be around a 3.33 if you get a 4.0 GPA this year (I’m not the greatest at math so someone correct if I’m wrong).

What I honestly would suggest is 1) explaining this in an essay when you start applying- obviously not in a very self-pitying way but maybe what you have gained in terms of self-responsibility and independence at a young age, 2) having your counselor similarly explain your situation and how it affected you academically and 3) try your hardest during your junior year to obtain a huge upward trend. While I have to be honest in saying that you could be out of the running for the Ivy League, I still think you can get into a competitive school if your junior year goes well and you are able to fully explain the situation (although don’t overdo it and make yourself seem one-dimensional). Participate in extracurriculars as well- this will show colleges that you can get involved despite your personal hardships.

I am extremely sorry for what you have been going through, and if you ever need to talk I’m here.

I hope this helped- hyungiwosotha.

Thanks a lot man, I really do appreciate it. I figured the Ivy’s would be out ; but would schools such as UNC, UF, Emory, Vanderbilt, NYU, schools of that kind of caliber be understanding provided my junior year goes amazing or are they an automatic rejection despite my significant upwards trend and life predicament?

Yes, i could do a lot more to stand out as a much more competitive applicant but if you read above then you’d somewhat understand @RoundGenius

That may work for some of the less competitive schools on your list, but now for CMU or GTU. The competition is simply too high and it would seem like you were using the above story as an excuse for your mediocre ECs and GPA (only mediocre at those schools). Please don’t take personal offense to this. You asked for honesty.

NOO I completely understand bro I’m not taking offense to it I really appreciate the honesty . If I get a 3.3 UW GPA by senior year would that be significant or no ? @RoundGenius

It would be enough to get you consideration at schools like UNC, Tulane, etc. but I still think GTU and CMU are out of reach. You said you know you can’t get into the Ivies. The thing you have to understand is that GTU and CMU are just as competitive as the Ivies. They are the Ivies for all intensive purposes when it comes to admissions.

I noticed in your other thread that you said “I know statistically it can’t be proven but I am much smarter than what the numbers depict”

That may be true and if it is true,your grades will improve. But here is something else I know to be true:

Schools that are not on your list of elite schools are much better than what you imagine them to be.

Your earlier thread delineated other reasons your grades are not as high as you think they should be. A problem for you is that there will always be factors that could be barriers to success. In fact, some of the most elite schools are those where professors are not very attentive to undergrads and who expect a high level of independence and fortitude from them. That is true about family issues too. There are kids for whom school is a refuge from horrendous home situations. There are kids in college who continue to have horrid home lives. It isn’t fair but it is the case. The issue is whether or not they can achieve in the situation they find themselves in. Many do and some don’t.

My advice to you is to put all concerns about your choice of college off for a while. Put your focus and energy into the activities and classes you find most meaningful to you. Then, 2nd semester junior year, critically evaluate how well you are doing. Have you been able to focus and apply yourself successfully? What are your grades like at that point. Then, choose a college that will have other students like you. If your grades are not vastly improved, don’t expend a lot of energy to try to get yourself a slot in a school where all the other students are highly competitive. Why would you want to do that? You’d struggle with a low likelihood of success. On the other hand, you could find some excellent schools known as places that nurture the interests of their students. If so, you will be more likely to succeed. And that means you may be more likely to go on for further education-at which point you could choose a more competitive school for advanced education. If higher motivation next academic year is enough to allow your grades to soar, then you might consider a more competitive school.

There are a lot of great schools out there. Not all are ones that you see on bumper stickers. Many are better for students who are not in the top 5% of their class. But if I were to put you on that campus and told you it was an Ivy League school, I bet you’d believe me. That’s because most students have misconceptions about higher education and glom onto what their peers or their parents (who often know little about higher education) talk about. Focus on being the best student you can be and then find a school that is a good match to where you are academically-not where you wish you were.

@lostaccount what schools do you suggest

What are your career aspirations? major? Financial constraints? and geographic preferences? Big school or not. Rah Rah sport or not? City, suburbs or rural? public or private? If public, what state are you in and would you consider OOS? Also, would you consider a religious affiliated school?

Corporate attorney , Law, No financial constraints, Don’t have any preferences anywhere in the country is fine @lostaccount

There are literally hundreds of possible schools. You should use one of the handy college selection sites-use “Find a College” at the top right of this screen. If you have no financial constraints, then you might do better in need aware schools since, fair or not, they will often give full pay applicants more wiggle room. When you use that app, I’d suggest you put in your current GPA not the GPA you think you can achieve. Aspirations are good but not anything to bank on. You have not really provided enough preferences for me to use to make suggestions because the list would be very very long and not helpful to you. You can provide a list from Find A college" based on your preferences and I and others can comment on the schools on that list.