<p>Is it because you genuinely want nothing but the best future for your child and a good college will help achieve that?</p>
<p>Or is it primarily because having a child who attends a good college entitles you to bragging rights?</p>
<p>Also, would you rather your child attended Harvard, or Dartmouth (whose graduates earn more than those of Harvard)? Why?</p>
<p>eulerschest, are you a parent? if so, do you have a child going through the admissions process, which might prompt this question?</p>
<p>Just a guess, but eulerschest sounds like a kid who may be frustrated with his parents’ attitude toward college admissions.</p>
<p>But I´ll bite. I think the answer is probably a combination of both. Parents do like to feel proud (and brag sometimes), and some weigh the prestige of a school more heavily than others as a reason to feel accomplished. However, I feel sure that the vast majority of parents have as their top priority that their kids turn out happy and satisfied. Different people have different opinions about the route to success and even what constitutes success. Many truly believe where their kid goes to college will affect their future achievements. Many others don´t think it matters much. But don´t suggest a parent´s intense concern in this area is purely selfish.</p>
<p>I’ll bite too. A parent can be concerned about a child’s college for many reasons besides bragging rights! </p>
<p>Not every parent on CC is concerned about their kids going into ivies or professional programs. Most of us are just trying to help our kids find the right fit and the right program. Sometimes that fit is actually an ivy, a premed program or an honors college. </p>
<p>Whether our kids believe it or not, we know them very well (after all, we’ve seen them every day and helped them grow for the last 17 or 18 years…we know them better than than anyone else!) From our perspectives of having 20 or 30 more years of life experience, we may have an idea what life-skills they’ll need after college. </p>
<p>We obviously are consumers wanting the best value for our education dollars. We know the burden that loans will place on our kids after graduation, and worry whether they will come out of school with the potential to pay that debt. For parents who believe their kid is ivy material, they have to weigh whether the ivy degree is going to give their kid an edge over schools that are closer, cheaper, or offer other desirable programs. This is one of those life-stages where a decision actually can impact the rest of a child’s life. Of course parents are concerned about their children’s college selection!</p>
<p>In some cases, parents are on CC learning about the college application process for the first time. Discussions about scholarships and financial aid help explore that process.</p>
<p>Some parents know their kids’ dream schools, and are trying to help them achieve their dream. We ask questions or offer insights to other parents to ease their minds, help them or to compare the chances for students trying to get into their dream schools.</p>
<p>During the course of the college selection process, parents share humorous, tragic or informational stories. We are, after all, parents. It’s a long-standing habit for many of us, who have spent years at girl and boy scouts, dance lessons, sports events, PTAs, etc. Why should we be less concerned about college selection than we are about holiday shopping for our kids?</p>
<p>Yes, there are some parents who don’t even realize how much they brag. There are posters who drop their kids’ stats and admissions into every post, even when not relevant. There are parents who respond to cries for help with a “while my own kid is perfect in every way…” There are parents who think that their kids’ achievements means that they were super-parents, so they’re entitled to brag. It really doesn’t matter. Life is the big leveler. Some of the super-achievers will continue to be super-achievers through life. Thank goodness, or we’d have fewer of the best doctors, scientists, symphony musicians, etc. Most of them will hold down regular jobs like the majority of us. Some of them will stumble in college, or encounter tragedies that will make this time of life golden for the families in later years. Some parents may still be bragging about their 40 year old’s SAT scores. Again, doesn’t matter at the end of the day. Just move on to another chat board or thread.</p>
<p>Harvard or Darmouth? Depends on the kid and the program that the kid wants to pursue. Depends on financial aid. Depends on whether the kid is social or not.</p>
<p>For me, and I assume most parents, I am more concerned about “rejection” and my child being hurt than the actual school. Its just a natural desire to want to protect your child from harm, hence, the concern.</p>
<p>I thought this was a great thread from the title-- then OP’s explanation was a letdown. I think every parent on here is probably super-aware of his/her own kid’s particular strengths and needs…I know I am, and I watch like a hawk to see what schools might be a wonderful fit for my D. I’ll brag all right-- can’t help it sometimes–but you might find me bragging later about what a great education she’s getting at Unheard-of U. I know people who teach at many different schools-- great and famous or small and unknown–and since I know name doesn’t always equal quality-- here I am, looking for good answers.</p>
<p>I’m concerned because it is in some respects the “last” time we will be this involved with for our children and decisions they make, both financially and emotionally. No, to the bragging thing. If the kids finish and graduate…then maybe alittle bragging. Many, many kids never finish. My oldest did not apply to any schools in the Northeast and S2 only applied to 1 and it is not an Ivy League school. If I had to pick an Ivy League school for the kids that they might like, it would be Dartmouth but only because I can’t fathom my kids choosing a school in a more urban environment or one that is too far of a drive from skiing.</p>
<p>"would you rather your child attended Harvard, or Dartmouth " - There are more than 2 colleges in the US. This question assumes that there are only 2.</p>
<p>Sounds like a kid who is expecting to get into Harvard and Dartmouth and whose parents are going to insist mightily that he go to Harvard rather than to Dartmouth (where he wants to go) because of the prestige factor. Let’s resurrect this thread when he gets into Harvard and Dartmouth…</p>
<p>Honestly? Deep down honestly? I want my daughters to be happy. I want them to go where they want to go to school and study what they want to study and be who they want to be. </p>
<p>And regarding the Harvard vs. Dartmouth question - I would want my child to go where she wanted to go. My d is going to William and Mary - it’s the perfect fit for her. Is it the perfect fit for me? Well, I’d prefer she was slightly closer to home, but it’s the school that is best for her and I’m fully supportive of that.</p>
<p>I commend those who answered the OP’s question rather than attacking him or questioning his motives. It’s a tiny % of parents in the country who are passionately involved in college choice to the point that they would hang out on collegeconfidential. Asking why you fbelong to this minority is a legit question.</p>
<p>Is it because you genuinely want nothing but the best future for your child and a good college will help achieve that?</p>
<p>Yes, I want nothing but the best for my children and a college education will help them achieve all they are capable of achieving. </p>
<p>Or is it primarily because having a child who attends a good college entitles you to bragging rights?</p>
<p>Nope…I have one in a top state U, one in an art college and one in a junior college. I brag about all of them. Going to college is a privilege and a means to starting their life’s work…the goal is for them to find out who they are and how they want to make their way in the world. I love them and I’m proud of them but I try not to brag about them so much as just tell them I love them and I’m proud of them.</p>
<p>Also, would you rather your child attended Harvard, or Dartmouth (whose graduates earn more than those of Harvard)? Why? </p>
<p>I’d rather my children attend the university that they want to attend because they are more likely to succeed there. But deciding where to go to college is a mix of desire, financials, proximity, acceptance, types of degrees, and lots of other factors. I don’t think my preference is relevant other than in terms of affordability. Their preference is certainly relevant but not necessarily the top consideration.</p>
<p>I have a couple of motivations for my children and their choice of post high school life. I have twins, a son and a daughter, that are seniors in HS. My D is very driven and has been since grade school. She carries a 3.9 and a weighted 4.5. She did well on SATs and ACT though I would be more comfortable if scores were a bit higher. She has considerable ECs. She has had one career in mind (ministry) and has never waivered. Her plan has always been to obtain a Bachelors in Religion and a MDiv from Gettysburg Lutheran Seminary. She found the University of Richmond a year ago and has been focused on Richmond and only Richmond (that scares me). So, my concern is that she gets in to the only school that she truly wants to attend. We find out about ED there any day.</p>
<p>My son on the other hand is not as motivated. He isn’t completely certain what he wants to do with his life but he thinks he wants a major in Psych. His grades are good but not up there with his sister. He will be attending a CC next year to knock out some requirements and explore Psych. </p>
<p>Neither me nor my wife attended college. We have stressed to our children that they need some type of post HS education. I don’t care if it is college or a trade school. My wife and I ended up in our careers more by fate and luck then by design. We do well but lives would have been much different (note: not necessarily better) had we had a higher education. I want my kids to be in careers that they enjoy and have a job that they look forward to going to every day. My mother always told me, “If you don’t go to college you will end up being a ditch digger for the rest of your life.” I have never met a ditch digger but if my son decides he wants to be one, I hope he is the best damn ditch digger around and he’s happy. If he pursues Psych then I am happy for him and I am certain he will do well. My sole motivation is the career contentment of my children and that they choose a path that will achieve their goals.</p>
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<p>I’d rather my child attended whatever school he felt was best for him. It’s not about the money he’ll make at the end of the day, at ALL.</p>
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<p>Lets see - new poster, one post and he brings the question down to Harvard vs Dartmouth. Sounds like a ■■■■■ upset about the current Dartmouth heckling thread of the harvard squash team</p>
<p>The fact is that nobody knows what is the best for particular kid before kid starts attending. Visits / overnights…etc. are not a reliable source. It is simply not the same as actual attending. At this point, it is important to be open to any opportunity and be prepared to work hard and achieve your goals no matter where. It will make much more difference than college name. Positive attitude is a winner, not anything else that might be completely out of your control. If anybody has a perception that academics might not be challenging at state school for top graduate/valedictorian and such, it is not true at all. No matter how many AP’s, or prep HS, any college will be challenging even for the very top.</p>
<p>Nothing to do with bragging rights . . . everything to do with being on my kids’ Teams . …that is, doing everything I can to help my kid apply to 6-8 schools that are excellent fits for him . . . that’s “helping” not “doing” it for him . . . and we have that list, so now I feel like I’m on the glide path: he’ll apply, get into one or more, we see which we can afford, and he chooses, because any one of the schools will be OK (although I realy hope he doesn’t select the super-safety . … it wouldn’t be challenging enough :-)</p>
<p>Harvard vs. Dartmouth? Assuming for the moment that this is a game show, I’d say Dartmouth because it fits better with the kind of education that my kid is looking for. </p>
<p>In reality, neither; there are much better fits out there for the kid than those 2 schools.</p>
<p>Kei</p>
<p>Eulers,
Good question. My kids were both ambivalent during their junior year about going to college. But I encouraged them to apply because, come April of their senior year, I didn’t want them empty-handed. The vast majority of their peers do attend college and are busy spring of their senior year planning their futures. I wanted my children to be a part of that conversation even if they ultimately decided to not attend college. </p>
<p>From what I have observed at my high school (which is admittedly a small sample), the children who have parents that are uninvolved in the process do not apply and do not go to college. Several kids from my son’s class (my son is a college junior) are just holding down minimum wage retail jobs. A few went on to enlist.</p>
<p>It is sort of hilarious that the poster ends with Dartmouth or Harvard LOL as if those were the only two pairings of world class colleges/universities in this country. Definitely a kid not a parent.</p>
<p>OP: go check out the 3.0-3.3 thread to answer your question</p>