<p>My DD is dipping her toe into the roommate finder process. She would prefer to room with girls she has met online rather than complete strangers. She has “friended” several girls who want to live in the super suites but are not in honors. Is there any reason she should hold out for other honors students? I’m wondering if the lack of activity by honors kids is that they are still waiting to hear from other schools. Also, should I assume she will want to/have to move off campus for her sophomore year?</p>
<p>Juniebug: will she have a housing portion of a scholarship? If so, she will probably want to stay on campus sophomore year (although the Bluffs apartments are considered “on campus” for scholarship purposes.)</p>
<p>Is she considering a sorority? It seems a lot of girls who do that end up rooming together after freshman year.</p>
<p>My D decided to take the luck of the draw with roommates for freshman year. She was adamant about being in honors housing. And there wasn’t a lot of activity by honors kids last year on the roommate finder sites. It worked out fine. If your D doesn’t live in honors housing her freshman year, she can’t choose it later down the road. </p>
<p>As for “holding out for other honors students” I would ask how your D identifies herself. Does she want to be with other honors kids?</p>
<p>My daughter is going through the same thing. She really wants to room with a girl who does not qualify now, but will possibly make Honors after a semester there. She is planning to live in a mixed dorm. I agree with Robd on the how does she want to be identified thing. My child does not necessarily want people to identify her as the smart one by the dorm she lives in. She does not however want to be in a “party” type atmosphere where she cannot keep up her grades. She was told by someone that she could possibly “vouch” for someone that would most lkely be honors, but I’m not sure that applies to the housing. I just wish they did not exclude you if you do not live in Honors to start with especially since which dorms are honors seems to change every few years according to some here. She should get money for her room. She is also afraid that if she is not in Honors, that after a few years, she will be living with more underclassmen than upperclassmen.</p>
<p>my DD “found” a roomie ahead of time, or the roomie found her. the other two were total unknowns. well, the roomie that “found” my DD has since moved on and has almost nothing to do with the other three. the two unknowns, however, have turned out to be very good. so, even choosing roomies does not necessarily work out any better than potluck!</p>
<p>as for honors vs. non - my daughter is in a mixed dorm. all i know if that her dorm has people pulling fire alarms ALL THE TIME, where some of the other dorms have not had it happen AT ALL!</p>
<p>if your daughter is serious about school and is not much of a partier, i think she might find more in common with honors kids.</p>
<p>Freshman year I roomed with two people I met on facebook and one who moved in during January. This year, I went the potluck route. Each method has its own pros and cons, though for various reasons I’m most likely going potluck again next year. </p>
<p>As for being perceived as smart and/or nerdy because one lives in an honors dorm, that has been a non-issue in my experience. At UA, the majority of honors students are just people who happen to enjoy and/or do well in school. The biggest difference with honors dorms versus their non-honors dorms is that the honors dorms are generally quieter. Honors students still like to party and have other forms of fun, but they [usually] know when it’s time to quiet down and study. I would highly recommend that your daughters live in the honors dorms and remain close friends with the other girls. Remember that most of the courses they will take in college will be non-honors and that many of their friends will probably be non-honors, especially after freshman year when they begin to focus more on their major(s).</p>
<p>* I would highly recommend that your daughters live in the honors dorms and remain close friends with the other girls. Remember that most of the courses they will take in college will be non-honors and that many of their friends will probably be non-honors, especially after freshman year when they begin to focus more on their major(s). *</p>
<p>I agree. What they can do is pick a hall that is a mix of honors and non-honors so that they can be near each other, but maybe not in the same suite.</p>
<p>Also, it’s only January…maybe by the time your D picks her dorm, she will have met some honors facebook friends.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the advice, that’s exactly what I wanted to know. We will be paying for her housing, so that doesn’t matter. And there is no ego involved in her choice. But I appreciate the warning of unintended consequences. She thinks she can cope with bedlam going on outside her own bedroom door, but I think it’s a risk. Our home is pretty quiet, and she can’t possibly know what it will be like living with hundreds of teenagers. Note the fire alarms.</p>
<p>Will it be her prerogative to continue living in the dorms after freshman year, or is there a lottery for those rooms? That’s why I’m wondering if her choice now will eliminate choices down the road.</p>
<p>Forgive my overthinking! I do this all the time. And I do realize she will find friends and move forward doing what’s right for her.</p>
<p>My DD is also an honors student who will be looking for some roommates in honors housing. She originally planned to share one half of an honors suite with her best friend from high school. But now that girl’s parents have changed their mind, and want her to branch out. They think she might make more new friends if she and DD don’t share a suite, but are still perhaps on the same floor or in the same building.</p>
<p>DD hasn’t quite thought about it yet as to whether she wants to try to talk with some potential roommates ahead of time or just leave it totally up to chance. I’ll ask her when she comes home from school this afternoon.</p>
<p>re: overthinking. I’ve been there. This time last year my D was KILLING me as I <em>thought</em> she should be on the roommate finder & Facebook finding the perfect roommates. There were a couple of girls that she could have connected with via this forum (and their parents) but she was laissez faire about the whole thing. By the time March rolled around and room selection was imminent, I’m fairly certain I had developed a twitch. She told me she was going to take the luck of the draw because she’d heard of people “finding each other” or even rooming with someone they already knew IRL and it was a disaster. </p>
<p>What she told me later was that when room selection opened up, she looked for a room with at least 2 open spaces that way she wouldn’t be the odd one out. Two of her current roommates are sophomores & one is another freshman. It’s worked out fine. They’re not BFF’s but they get along. They won’t room together next year since the sophs are getting an apt, but she does have two friends she met 1st semester who are going to room with her next academic year.</p>
<p>All this to say: this whole college thing is really stressful for parents because it’s all new. But it all works out in the end. Even if it’s not a perfect situation, there’s a learning experience in there for our kids.</p>
<p>I will try to describe my son’s experiences with dorm life. Some years have been better than others. </p>
<p>DS was in Riverside North freshman year and took the luck of the draw for room mates. UA sent a letter sometime in July with the names and phone numbers of the students assigned to his suite. Two guys were sophomores and the other was a freshman. My son had no concerns or interest in contacting them before he arrived on campus. They all respected each other and they all kept the common areas picked up. The bathrooms were not as good. (Lets face it, do your kids scrub the toilets and showers at home unless they are told to?) There was no TV in the front room, so hardly anyone used the space. For the most part, everyone kept to themselves. They all were honors students and all had very busy schedules. One was in ROTC, two had part time jobs and my son was an Athlete. If you asked him to identify any problem, he would reluctantly tell you one had a girlfriend that stayed overnight 3 to 4 times a week. Since everyone stayed in their respective bedrooms, it did not cause any problems. Everyone was polite. </p>
<p>Sophomore year, DS selected Riverside East. Again he took the luck of the draw and wound up being the only sophomore. The other three were freshman. All were in the Honors College. He did not lay eyes on one of the roommates until Fall Break. We insisted that our son check with his RA to confirm the stranger in the apartment was who he said he was. (How would you react if you found a stranger in your home.) It was confirmed that the unseen roommate had checked into the dorms to receive his keys. The RA checked the room and found that guy had put a few items in the room and the bed was made. The whole situation was a bit odd. The RA also confirmed the “ghost” student was attending classes. Evidently, the guy had a housing scholarship but lived off campus with his girlfriend (until they broke up). My guess is, his parents never knew that he was playing house with the girlfriend. Another roommate had to withdraw for medical reasons and returned for second semester. With only one guy sharing the space with my son, it was pretty much the same as freshman year. The place stayed picked up and everyone got along. My son was the last one to check out at the end of the year. I helped him move most of his belongings to a climate controlled storage unit. Together we cleaned the apartment and headed north in the morning. The only complaint I had was the other guys did not scrub the bathrooms or detail clean the kitchen before they left town. I did not want to be charged a cleaning fee, so we cleaned it.</p>
<p>This year started off just fine. The three suite mates are all freshman in the Honors College. Before school started, the roommates contacted my son on facebook chat. On the surface, the outlook was good. In August, I shared the drive to campus in my son’s car. I stayed in a hotel for one night. I flew home the following day. The three freshman had already moved in by the time we arrived. The four guys agreed ahead of time to share the cost of a nice big flat screen TV for the front room (about $120 each). My son already had the basic kitchen items, a coffee table, art and decorative items, pillows and a lamp that we recovered from the local storage unit. I visited with the guys for the better part three hours as my son set up his bedroom. They were thrilled to have a mature and tastefully decorated apartment to call home. They were polite and fun to be around.
Fast forward to second semester. I drove back in my son’s car Jan. 8th. We were the first to arrive back after break. I was very disappointed with the condition the apartment was left. My son had warned me that a few of the guys are slobs. It was no surprise that their suite did not pass the health inspection report left by the RA. My son has a large piece of wall art that I made for him. It covers most of one wall in the front room. Part of it was damaged and laying on the floor. One of the suite mates has a friend who lives in a dorm on the south end of campus. The friend won’t leave at night so he sleeps in the front room most nights of the week! (So much for the roommate contract!) This friend even keeps an inflated air mattress in the front room! During the day, he leans it up against my son’s wall art. As an athlete, my son consumes about 5000 calories a day. At the beginning of first semester my son kept his food in the kitchen. He realized that the friend and one of his suite mates were eating his food. Now he keeps his food locked in his room.<br>
I wish he would address their lack of respect. I am not about to intervene. </p>
<p>Well, I have just provided three examples of common roommate dynamics. The roommate finder is only a tool. The tool is only as good as the way students present themselves. It is not a perfect world. Our children will leave home and learn to live with others. They will have to take the good and the not so good in people. Our job is to prepare them for life. The rest is up to them.</p>
<p>^^^I wil add my son’s first semester experience and extrapolate that second semester will be more of the same.</p>
<p>My son connected with two of his suitemates online. I believe that he found the first one by a room finder search using the criteria of Honors, quiet study time important, school grades very important, no drinking, no drugs, no partying. They began to facebook and hit it off. They even met on one of his campus visits, so come move in time, they were not strangers. The other suitemate had an earlier housing “pick” date and time and pulled my son into their honors suite. The other suitemate was a ghost until move in time. I even had the opportunity to meet some of the parents. </p>
<p>Although, they had met and all get along, one suitemate pledged a fraternity and he is rarely in the dorms. Everyone else has unique schedules so they see very little of each other. My son never uses the common room as he does not play video games. They do share a fridge and for the most part respect each other’s food. My son’s side of the suite is clean, his room is organized and neat and the bathroom is cleaned. The other side of the suite is not as good and the suitemates do not like to take out garbage or recycle.</p>
<p>Will they room together next year, well probably not, one boy is involved in the fraternity and the other two are likely moving off campus. My son will pick the same room and hope for the best.</p>
<p>very similar story here as to my DSs first year. Got offered space in a room in by a poster on this board so figured why not, the other two chose the remaining spots. Did meet the original roommate at BamaBound, nice guy, but being guys it’s not like they decided to be BFFs. One of the four dropped out right before move-in so there was a replacement guy. No communication between the four of them before move-in (despite my nagging about it).
Moved in, the (new) fourth roomate was there - quick intro and that was that, he virtually never emerged from his room again. One roommate uses the front room for video games and skype (loudly) but quite honestly any reaction to even a simple “how’s it going” is met with a blank stare. First guy is nice, they don’t see each other but exchange basic pleasantries from what I gather.
Mystery old food was in the fridge literally from day one (ugh!), as well as a mystery dirty towel - DS finally gave up and threw both out as he was the last one out for Xmas. DS keeps his room clean and cleans his bathroom thankfully as there is no indication that anyone else has any intention of doing any of it. The other bathroom - amazingly disgusting.</p>
<p>So no drama, basically nothing at all. Guess it’s fine for DS but as a mom you know I’d like it to be something more. It is the strangest thing for a typical moderately social guy and honors student to be in such close contact but virtually not interact with roomates at all. Guess it could be MUCH worse as at least there is no drama, puking, noise etc. If he doesn’t start asking around he will probably go random again next year. He’s happy, has friends etc., so no worries, his deal, not mine. Think finding a roommate is more akin to asking out a date, which some are better at than others. I just have to say though, how can a kid make it to college and not have the basics of conversation, cleanliness etc.? Thank god for individual rooms.</p>
<p>Oh - update, roommate 4 never showed up this semester. A new upperclassman took the spot. Crossing my fingers.</p>
<p>wow, sounds like my daughter has it good compared to some of your boys.</p>
<p>they don’t really see the one girl, but the other three hnag out and do fun stuff together a good bit of the time. so far this semester they have gone to basketball gams, a swim meet (WHY!) and a gymnastics meet together. </p>
<p>they did have a few issues at the beginning about washing dishes and that kind of stuff, but it’s pretty minor and doesn’t seem to be a problem any longer.</p>
<p>So what does a bathroom look like after months of not getting cleaned? I am going to have to worry about this later. I can only handle one thing at a time!</p>
<p>I think for the most part, boys are different than girls in their expectations from their suite mates.</p>
<p>My son is very social and has a wide set of friends, both boys and girls. However, he is very very busy, so he does not expect to be best friends with his suite mates. Hanging out is almost impossible because of their varied schedules. He is content that they all are pleasant and they lock their doors for privacy and security.</p>
<p>I agree that as a Mom, you would hope for a closer friendship status, but all the boys are nice and seem to respect each other. That is a bonus.</p>
<p>juniebug,
Try to visualize the nastiest truck stop bathroom toilet. In fact, my husband went to visit last year. Even he commented on the condition of the bathroom. The following week my husband asked me to send a toilet brush with the flushable cleaner heads in a care package. My son got the hint! When I cleaned the shower at the end of last year, I found pink and black mold on the curtain and under the shampoo bottles. I’m not surprised that most guys don’t notice things like that.
I would highly recommend a Swiffer Sweeper type mop for the kitchen and baths. My son also has a small rechargeable floor and carpet sweeper. I purchased it at Sam’s Club for about $35. It does a nice job too! The charging cord remains plugged in at all times in a corner between the front door and the kitchen. They just unplug the sweeper and plkug it back in when they are done.</p>
<p>Thanks, momof3boys! I can see I have a lot to learn. I was actually wondering what kind of equipment the kids would need to hypothetically clean their spaces. Are the bedrooms carpeted? I can’t recall.</p>
<p>A year ago, I helped move my son out of his college apartment. I’m pretty sure the bathroom floor had not been touched by a cleanser in the 3 years he lived there. The worst was the refrigerator which had something that had run down the back, puddled on the bottom and had become fossilized. I was shocked we got a little bit of the deposit back.</p>
<p>Hi juniebug! Just wondering what site your daughter is using to find potential roommates. My daughter found that the FB site was mostly non-honors partying types, so she didn’t input her info. She did input her info into the roommate finder through UA and is now “friends” on FB with several honors kids from around the country. I don’t think she’s talked too much to any of them about being roommates, but she is meeting people with similar interests. IIRC when she put in her info and did a search she came up with about 60 matches. That was about a month ago, so there should be even more on there now. Good luck and keep us posted. Who knows, maybe our daughters will end up knowing each other :)</p>
<p>Rose808, I’m embarrassed to say I don’t know. I assume she is looking on Facebook. I think she, too, is finding mainly non honors girls on the site. I don’t think she cares if her roommates are honors or not as long as they are friendly. Some of the more experienced posters have mentioned that the honors dorms could be quieter!</p>
<p>That would be fun if our daughters meet. It sounds like the parents of last year’s class looked each other up when they were at campus. This is such a friendly forum. Anyway, I’m hoping once midterms are over, DD will locate some compatible roomies.</p>
<p>Just want to throw out there that my Dd left everything to chance on roommates. She was placed with a sophomore and two juniors, and it ended up being alright. D says that while they aren’t best friends, they are friendly and since everyone has different schedules they don’t bump into each other that often. Also, the upper class roomies provided guidance on class choices, scheduling, prof choices and free hand me down text books!</p>