<p>I, too, am enjoying PX’s voice and point of view, but I must admit I am still fanning myself from a rather graphic earlier post of hers that was removed. On the other hand, I wouldn’t mind Px answering questions for my son. I leave that to dad, I’m afraid, and DS loves to torment me with comments and conversations he knows make me cringe. He just laughs himself silly at my discomfort which shows you how I was raised.</p>
<p>Anyway, +1000 to you, Px. I wish you all the best.</p>
<p>@Exie picking on a student is a reach. When a child is combative to every response and comes off as a know-it-all, It comes off to me imo as a turnoff. Px spends entirely too much time posting random and often incorrect statistics about topics the she is obviously unfamiliar with. I tell my DS all the time humility is the most attractive trait in a human being. Do I find Px an extremely intelligent candidate? Absolutely, but as you know there are piles of extremely intelligent and capable applicants in the reject pile. Do you really think AO’s want their future students spending all of their time on this blog instead of contributing to their community or studying? Also I often find Px offering advice to people in the same or similar situation as her without a disclaimer of the that fact. So let’s agree to disagree on some of these issues.</p>
<p>I agree with Px on the snooping. I actually recently got into a bit of a heated discussion with a friend. In her defence her daughter has not quite turned 2 and I remember being a first time mom of a 2 year old girl…</p>
<p>BUT, my experience with snooping is as a young teen and my mother going through my things without my knowledge or permission. She found what she was looking for but the damage it caused has never left. I am very close to my mother, we speak daily but I cant say I have ever trusted her since… As a mother now, I know that its not worth it to me to do the same.</p>
<p>I appreciate PxAlaskas posts. They may be a little raw but they are honest. And, I do not feel she is very different from her peers, except that she is bold enough to say what she feels without fear of judgement. And, I actually find this a gift on this forum since a few parents may never hear an uncensored kids thoughts. </p>
<p>I went to high school in the late 80s/early nineties. Nothing PX is saying is new or different from what was going on then. But, a refresher course may be needed since its easy to forget…</p>
<p>Isnt this forum contributing to your community of peers 
I think we all are spending a bit of time on here lately</p>
<p>@AceNtheHole</p>
<p>You can’t always judge “tone” on a discussion board. The things you find combative and “know it all” I find refreshingly honest.</p>
<p>And certainly, we as adults have been occasionally accused of the same thing only to find out we interpreted the tone of a post incorrectly by filtering it through our own personal lenses. </p>
<p>But also, these are students and we should give them a little latitude as long as they aren’t being offensive. In the latter case we can simply report the posts and let the moderators decide on a course of action.</p>
<p>@ChoatieMom - you mean I missed a racy Px post? Darn. I’m still smiling over the one with the Johanssen reference. :)</p>
<p>To swerve (not grind) into a more sociological direction, the question of intimate, or intense interpersonal relationships within a “total institution” really is different than outside such an institution.</p>
<p>My D, for hypothetical example (of course), will likely be seeing her potential “significant other” in multiple classes, sports teams, at dinner, volunteer activities, clubs, and dorm activities. They will share many mutual friends. Even the large boarding schools are small, isolated, intense communities when it comes down to it. </p>
<p>So one’s decisions on intimacy, maybe on the spur of the moment after a bad test, stress from home, or disagreement with another friend, will have to be faced over the next four years almost daily. </p>
<p>This may lead to a more impersonal, transitory “hooking up” scene as a means of maintaining some personal space. Or, conversely, choosing no intimate relationships. </p>
<p>I haven’t really heard of a sociologist combining the concept of “total institution” with “sexual revolution” and “adolescence”, but I bet it is a real hum-dinger of a situation. Our kids manage the best they can. It really is different than how my high school world was.</p>
<p>@Exie I will defer to your infinite knowledge of this blog. No sarcasm at all, I am a newbie and don’t know everything.</p>
<p>@PX Alaska! I am very impressed with you. You have your head on straight and I hope the best for you with your dreams coming true.</p>
<p>You will make your parents very proud.</p>
<p>@AceNtheHole 
Not infinite - just side debates that sometimes rage into PM’s until we realize “Oh - we’re on the same page,” or “Oh, you weren’t angry when you posted that?”</p>
<p>I learned a long time ago - on several forums - that tone is hard to convey in hastily written posts. And the moderators sometimes remind us that these are students and deserve a bit more latitude.</p>
<p>Certainly your own voice and views help make this a more interesting place to visit. Post away - and welcome!</p>
<p>Back on the hooking up subject - I’ve come to some conclusions about this based on what I’ve heard from my daughter.</p>
<p>I suspect there’s more hooking up going on at BS than there is at home, which isn’t much of a surprise as it’s much easier to get the opportunity for this at BS. Also, at least among the 9th graders my DD knows there’s less pot and alcohol than there is among the kids where we live (sad to say that there’s already a fair amount of drugs and drinking among high school freshman) so I’m going to say the hooking up is not just done under the influence.</p>
<p>Also, it doesn’t sound to me like it’s just boy-led. DD was telling me about a friend who’s been hooking up with a boy for a few months and the girl is the one who’s not interested in it being a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. </p>
<p>One big difference between my time at BS and now is that it seems like there’s much more of a gray area in terms of relationships. It was pretty uncommon for people to get together physically if they weren’t in a relationship, or at least if they did it wasn’t public knowledge. Now, it seems like a completely acceptable way to do things. Getting to the point of a “facebook official” relationship is a pretty high level of commitment now. </p>
<p>Personally I’m not too concerned about things up to about second base (although I guess the definition of the bases has changed). What does bother me is the oral sex - I find it disturbing that this is not considered an intimate sexual act and it’s something that boys expect girls will be willing to do.</p>
<p>friendlymom - I agree with everything you said. Hooking up is not related to being drunk or high at boarding school. I think there is a lot less stigma/double standards with girls hooking up than our generation and it is just as much girl driven as boy driven. Girls are often every bit as sexual as boys. </p>
<p>With students going through puberty at 11-15 years of age - or even younger - many are unlikely to wait until after high school to be sexually active. My advice is to make sure your child has condoms and knows how to use them properly. Have the discussion before they go to boarding school. You might be surprised what your child will say “no” to at age 13 or 14, but “yes” to a year or so later. Try to keep an open dialogue with your kids. When I was a teen, the worst fear of being sexual active was getting pregnant. Obviously, it’s still a concern but now, for my own children, STDs are a much bigger concern of mine. No love without the glove.</p>
<p>A very, very, very close friend of mine works in the health center at a prominent BS.</p>
<p>She has told me that this school year, she has never seen so many freshman girls come to the health center for morning-after pills.</p>
<p>I was unaware that BS health centers had the authority to dispense this pill.</p>
<p>Conversation I had w nurse at DS’s school’s health center: the kids there are so achievement-minded that they are very proactive about avoiding pregnancy/STD’s</p>
<p>I’m still trying to decide if that conversation made me feel more or less worried…</p>
<p>HarvestMoon1, the morning-after pill is sold over-the-counter to people 17 and older. 16 and younger need a prescription. [Post-Election</a>, ‘Morning After’ Pill Advocates Want Age Rules Revisited : Shots - Health News : NPR](<a href=“Post-Election, 'Morning After' Pill Advocates Want Age Rules Revisited : Shots - Health News : NPR”>Post-Election, 'Morning After' Pill Advocates Want Age Rules Revisited : Shots - Health News : NPR) </p>
<p>If the health center has a doctor on staff, he or she could prescribe the pill to a 16 year old. A student could arrive on campus with a prescription. I suppose it could be held at Health Services. There are complicated systems of permissions for prescribed medications, which vary by school but are often mandated by state law. </p>
<p>I have no idea if a 15 year old at a boarding school needs parental permission to receive a morning after pill. If it might apply to your child, read the medical forms sent over the summer carefully. Contact the health center with any questions.</p>
<p>@HarvestMoon1, now you know. And no prescription is needed. Even for 14 year old freshmen.</p>
<p>Also, the health center (at this school) has a strict confidentiality policy and will not tell parents if a student requests the pill (among other things). That is actually good, because the health center wants to encourage students to promptly seek medical/psych care and develop a trusting relationship.</p>
<p>Hasta: I don’t think it’s accurate that no prescription is needed. That’s why kids under 17 have to go to their health center to get the pill. Agree about the confidentiality policy–but parents should be aware of that as we sign something agreeing to it when our kids enroll at boarding school.</p>
<p>My understanding is that it is illegal to dispense the pill to girls under the age of 17 without a prescription.</p>
<p>A licensed Nurse Practitioner can write a prescription for the “morning after” pill.</p>
<p>First of all, I find the fact that AceNtheHole refuses to acknowledge someone’s arguments because they are a kid and seem like a know it all offensive. In a topic like this, I would assume that students know more about this then parents. On topic, I avoid some of the dances at my boarding school. However I have not experienced or seen any of the things you are talking about, at least among the freshman class. While I have no doubt that I wouldn’t see most of these things happening, I think you should give more credit to us as students, and the school administration. There is no interdorming allowed for lower classmen, and the school enforces that.</p>
<p>This section is for parents – and while kids MAY have useful bits to add, this sectionwas created for parents. And Px and bearcat and others are kids. PX is applying to schools, and while she may do her parents taxes, she has also talked about pot and other things which some of us may not completely agree with, and bearcat you avoid the dances so you don’t even know what goes on at the golf course or in the woods at your own school.</p>
<p>Please, everyone take everyone else’s view with the grain of salt mentality and not as gospel. Especially the kids who have never even been ina boarding school (yet).</p>