<p>How is the Horace Mann School academically & is it a feeder school?</p>
<p>At the moment I'm biting my nails waiting for the decision on my son's application to HM. I've done quite a bit of research, and I am convinced that academically it is by far the best day school in the area. I also believe that its reputation as a competitive pressure cooker is unwarranted. As far as I can tell, the environment is collegial and cooperative. </p>
<p>In terms of college admissions, HM graduates are admitted to many fine colleges. If you are asking specifically about HYP, they take plenty of kids from HM. If my goal for my son were admission to one of those schools (or any particular elite college), then I would leave him in our local public school. As the outstanding student there, he would have a very good chance of admission to any college he chose. As one of the crowd at HM, his chances would be lower. But if my son is fortunate enough to be admitted, we will be voting with our dollars in favor of a much better HS education. I am less concerned about which particular college he goes to.</p>
<p>NYMom, you should perhaps step back a bit. Not to sound attacking, but you come across as a helicoptor parent. Let your son worry about his admittance; where he goes will have very little impact on your life, except the ability to say at dinner parties, "Oh yes, my son is at Horace Mann."</p>
<p>I liked the school a lot when I looked at it, but it utterly lacked the sense of community that I wanted. The place actually came across to me as a bit of a gladiator ring. Everyone seemed very focused on beating each other. </p>
<p>It's a great school, but it's not for everyone.</p>
<p>iriseyes,
Perhaps you should step back a bit before you toss out harsh generalizations such as "gladiator ring." How much time did you actually spend there before you came to such a conclusion? On the other hand, I have had one child graduate from the school and two more currently are students at HM. Yes, the school has many accomplished kids. Our experience is that they serve to inspire and motivate their classmates, rather than beat them down. As to the OP's question, HM does have the reputation as being one of the finest independent day schools in the country. They have a depth and breadth of courses which is phenomenal. They send a large percentage of each graduating class to some of the finest colleges and universities in the country. They do this by providing a simply superb high school education. I can provide whatever details you would like about the school based on years of experience, not rumor or a one day visit.</p>
<p>Well said Momof3sons! Bravo! HM is superb. And NYMomof2, your comments and concerns are legit. Good luck!</p>
<p>I only wish I had time to go to dinner parties! As it is, I'm too busy being a physicist by day and a helicopter parent by night.</p>
<p>I have spoken with several former and current HM children and their parents, and what they tell me is consistent with momof3sons' comments. </p>
<p>Thanks for the encouragement, mass, and the good wishes!</p>
<p>Note what I said, NYMom. I said Horace Mann was not for everyone, and it seemed...well, let's quote, shall we?</p>
<p>"I liked the school a lot when I looked at it, but it utterly lacked the sense of community that I wanted. The place actually came across to me as a bit of a gladiator ring. Everyone seemed very focused on beating each other."</p>
<p>Came across to ME. I have several friends who go/have gone there, and know some HM parents, and the first comment I have gotten almost always is "Yes, it's a pressure cooker." If you would like to deny that the school is very intense and competitive, by all means do, but it's your word against a longstanding reputation and some first person sources. I'm just speaking from what I know, as are you.</p>
<p>Also, "It's a great school, but it's not for everyone." Please note that I agree that it's a great school, but: NOT FOR EVERYONE. If anything I stand by that. You cannot honestly say that at HM, everyone can flourish, everyone loves it, and everyone is happy or WOULD be any of these things.</p>
<p>It's a pressure cooker. It's a good school, but yeah, a pressure cooker.</p>
<p>PurpoisePal,
How many years have you been at Horace Mann?</p>
<p>Iriseyes- That is not the point; you're not getting it. What you think of HM is not out of line or even offensive - those are your own thoughts and views and very legitimate to you and you have every right to post them. However, the main point of contention with your posting is that you were basically PERSONALLY attacking Momof2, accusing her of being a helicopter parent (controlling) and wanting to brag about where her son goes to school. You have no idea who she is, what type of lifestyle she leads, where she lives in the city, how old her child is, or if she is even a part of the dinner party crowd. You don't know her and you can not make that type of observation over the internet. We could all cast aspersions on each other by what we read here, but the fact of the matter is that this site is supposed to be helpful and supportive not critical and judgmental. It's not a political issues or candidates website.</p>
<p>The part of her post I was commenting on was this: "At the moment I'm biting my nails waiting for the decision on my son's application to HM. I've done quite a bit of research..."</p>
<p>It's my belief that parents should step back from the application process. I don't think a mother (especially a physicist, who already has a lot on her plate) should have to feel so much worry about her son's school. From the sound of it he'll do very well wherever he goes; a lot of the time (I speak from experience) parental laser-beams can add a lot of stress to the kid. Perhaps she is like this, perhaps she is not, as you said, after all.</p>
<p>I never intended to sound attacking (I actually said that to begin with) but I can see how it would sound across the internet. Sorry if anyone was offended.</p>
<p>PS. CC isn't what I'd call a supportive site. It's for people who want to talk frankly and openly about their chances at schools, give their own impressions and advice, or chat about random stuff (as we do on the summer program forum.) Over-involved parents have been a big topic in the college world for the past few years. Regardless of the (uncomfortable) discussion on this thread, everything that's being discussed (helicoptor parents, pressure-cooker schools, differing opinions, schools as a status item, schools as a step up to college, etc.) is relevant on a college board.</p>
<p>The confrontation here is unneccesary; can the discussion turn back to the school at hand now?</p>
<p>I think it's good that you apologized, iriseyes, but it's hard to see how your initial statement could be seen as anything other than an attack (albeit mild) at the previous "mom" poster. "where he goes will have very little impact on your life, except the ability to say at dinner parties, "Oh yes, my son is at Horace Mann." etc..........</p>
<p>And, by the way, only a teenager without children could make a statement that where a child goes has "very little impact" on a parent's life.....good grief.</p>
<p>What I have detected this year, as opposed to last, on this forum is an abundance of hyper critical, dare I say perhaps rude, young people who seem to think that this is an appropriate forum for challenging the opinions of others, especially the parents, instead of gathering information and helping others.
IMO - they might do well to listen to the viewpoints of others more and criticize less. And, being "old school," I guess, I believe that they should certainly be more polite to the parents here. That's all.</p>
<p>I honestly didn't intend to attack her, but since helicoptor parents are one of my pet peeves, that probably got in the way of my wording. Again, I'm sorry.</p>
<p>Where a kid goes to school has VASTLY VASTLY VASTLY more impact on his life than on the parents'. You HAVE to admit this is true.</p>
<p>Keep in mind that I'm from a social sphere where everyone <em>must</em> go to an ivy so the dinner parties, yes, will be sprinkled with mentions of HPY. Everyone tries to be perfect, and when they are not, it is swept under the rug. Schools, where I am from, are very much a social status item. Considering this, I am very biased when I read anything resembling this. Fight the man, as it were...</p>
<p>iriseyes,
I'm glad you have "softened" up a bit and apologized. That was a very mature thing to do. Truthfully, you don't even know if NYMomof2 has an 11 year old who's applying to the school or a 14 year old, right? I know you wouldn't expect an 11 year old to handle the admissions process by him/herself. As I read your last post, I can understand what your frame of reference is and where/how you are drawing your conclusions. Please know that not all HM families come from NYC and many of us are not involved in the "dinner party scene" you mentioned. Some of us really were just looking for the best possible education we thought we could give our kids.</p>
<p>Gotcha, iriseyes....we have PLENTY of parents in our neck of the woods with the same "my child is perfect, and oh, by the way, if she/he's not....no one will EVER know." I HATE that too....as well as the parents who hover so close that their child cannot grow. It's good to hear to state where you were coming from....</p>
<p>But, that being said, just a little (unsolicited) advice for the younger one on this board - don't be TOO quick to fight....and pick and choose those battles. Actually, saving them for in-person "discussions" is the more prudent thing anyway - not here.</p>
<p>But - you explained yourself well. well done.</p>
<p>Iriseyes- Thank you for apologizing and for clarifying where you are coming from. It really helps in understanding, if not agreeing, with your comments. I also see a lot of the perfection seeking parents that you describe and it is just very sad for everyone involved - child and parent.</p>
<p>Thank you for what you all said; I'm glad we can agree.</p>
<p>Actually, I don't know this about Horace Mann: how are the sports?</p>
<p>horace mann or lawrenceville</p>
<p>lawrenceville, anyday</p>
<p>horace mann. not even close. ;)</p>