<p>I recently received a Vassar brochure in the mail. A paragraph talked about co-ed bathrooms at Vassar.</p>
<p>Being raised in a conservative Asian culture, I cannot imagine sharing bathroom facilities with females. Knowing this really stopped me from considering Vassar.</p>
<p>I understand these places have men's urinals? The thought makes me uncomfortable. I just can't imagine peeing next to a girl, or even being around girls in a towel. Not only me - growing up, I've always felt uncomfortable when another guy is in a towel in front of a girl. (Vice versa NEVER happens - girls in a towel with a boy present is just unthinkable)</p>
<p>I'm wondering which other colleges have co-ed bathrooms. I read somewhere on CC that Carleton also has this?</p>
<p>And you’ll be going to college? I sense impending culture shock in 3… 2…</p>
<p>I don’t think even an institution as progressive as Vassar would expect you to pee right next to a girl. The toilet doors can probably be locked.</p>
<p>I understand why you might be uncomfortable with the thought of sharing living quarters with girls if you’ve never done it before, but seriously, this is a stupid reason to base your college choice on. I’m sure if you explain the situation to your college, it will agree to put you in a single-sex dorm or you can work something else out.</p>
<p>I think taking some campus tours might make you feel slightly better about this issue.</p>
<p>The coed bathrooms at UC Berkeley that we saw touring on Cal Day do not have men’s urinals in them. There were four toilet stalls and the two shower stalls had solid doors. At Cal, a student could opt for other types of housing if this didn’t work for them. I would think most schools would be the same way.</p>
<p>I do agree that it could be sorted out, no matter where I end up. I was raised, as is most people around me, to believe that bodies are private, and everyone is very body conscious around the opposite sex. You never see a speedo or a bikini at the beach, unless it’s on a foreigner. It will usually be long pants and full-body suits. I realize it would be very very different in college and I’ll probably will just have to get used to it somehow :S</p>
<p>Haverford also has coed bathrooms, although the students on the floor will vote whether to keep them that way or make them single sex. The tour guide said she couldn’t remember a time when the students voted for single sex. I was horrified, but D wasn’t phased at all. </p>
<p>Some schools even have coed double dorm rooms. Never for freshman though as far as I know.</p>
<p>Co-ed dorms I don’t really mind (alteast I don’t think so, although I don’t know how it’ll feel with strangers). At my school we go on trips a lot - and we always sleep next to eachother. It’s the various states of undress I’m concerned about.</p>
<p>This situation isn’t comfortable for my D either. The problem with voting to change from co-ed to a single gender bathroom is that it may put the brand new college student in an awkward position. I would just skip Vassar rather than go through the hassle.</p>
<p>^Agree. This wouldn’t work at all for my D, and she would skip the school rather than try to “work out” something (so fundamental) that isn’t right for her.</p>
<p>Why is it a stupid reason? Seems to me, this is a legitimate issue of “fit” for the OP. The fact that he raises it shows self-knowledge and maturity.</p>
<p>Both historically and around the globe today, modesty about bodily functions (especially in the presence of the opposite sex) is rather normal. Contemporary American mores in this respect are unusual and have only a very short history. </p>
<p>So I don’t think it is progressive or broad-minded to dismiss, as stupid, an international student’s concerns about how we do our business :)</p>
<p>I said it was a stupid reason because the issue 1. could be settled very easily by contacting the college and explaining the situation, and 2. is not severe enough to justify choosing not to go to a school you really like, especially given that the very same problem will most likely be present, in one form or another, at almost any other nonsectarian, coeducational college.</p>
<p>And hold your horses, please. I’m not judging the OP for having privacy concerns. I understand it’s tempting to accuse random people of cultural imperialism and condescension preemptively, but sometimes it’s better to wait for them to say something that warrants it.</p>
<p>I do see an impending culture shock regardless. At my school, we didn’t have any co-ed bathrooms but it still wasn’t rare to run into girls in towels in the hallway. When you are in a co-ed dorm, you get used to that kind of thing.</p>
<p>Wesleyan had ‘gender neutral’ bathrooms in their freshman dorm. My daughter hated the idea and so did I. After that, on all of her remaining college visits she specifically asked about dorms that were either all female or dorms that were coed by floor not by room.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>hard to imagine that a college would not offer at least one hall or dorm that has same sex bathrooms.</p></li>
<li><p>hard to imagine that coed bathrooms would have urinals</p></li>
</ol>
<p>I know a student whose first choice school moved far down the list after visiting and while the co-ed bathroom was one issue of fit that she could point to, it was also the overall social culture of the school. It came down to the subtleties that aren’t in the college brochure.</p>
<p>The smaller the school, the more important the visit. If everyone on campus is comfortable with the current situation and you’re not, you won’t have many escape options. How can you guarantee that you will be assigned to the one single sex dorm if that’s all there is? Campus fit isn’t as simple as matching up your gpa and test scores - you need to be comfortable where you live. If you dont like what a school has to offer it’s not your problem, just move on and find what makes you happy. There will be another great academic environment with living quarters that don’t throw you into an anxiety attack.</p>
<p>That’s up to the individual to decide. For someone who really doesn’t like the idea of co-ed bathrooms, that one fact could change a school from one you really like into one you really don’t like - where you just won’t fit.</p>
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<p>Co-ed dorms are common but co-ed bathrooms far less so. Co-ed dorms with single-sex bathrooms are what I’ve encountered in pretty much every school we toured and both of the schools where my kids actually enrolled.</p>
<p>We had co-ed bathrooms in my college dorm in the Ice Age. It was no big deal.</p>
<p>There were no urinals.</p>
<p>The toilets and showers each had separate stalls. The shower stall was designed so that you could step out of the shower, dry off, and put on your robe behind a door/curtain.</p>
<p>People are on such different schedules that I rarely actually ran into anyone else, male or female, in the bathroom, to be honest.</p>
<p>From time to time, I’d brush my teeth alongside one of the guys.</p>
<p>It was no more awkward than sharing a bathroom with my brother.</p>
<p>By ‘the very same problem’ I meant unwanted proximity/exposure to unclad strangers, which is what the OP seems to be most concerned about. Every college in the US celebrates Halloween, which a number of people treat as a convenient occasion to go out in little to no clothing, and almost every college has cheerleaders, mandatory physicals, swimming proficiency requirements, naked protesters, LGBT events, people going to lectures in their pyjamas, people walking around in nothing but a towel, or some other common expression of physical/sexual unselfconsciousness. This is why I think the OP would have something to be taken aback by wherever he ends up.</p>
<p>As callous as it sounds, I don’t see a way for him to avoid this.</p>