<p>However, I just got my sophomore room assignment in the mail, and a number of issues have arisen. I somehow recieved probably the worst housing situation of any other sophomore. Firstly, my roomies and I had requested to be put as far away from our crazy roommate from last year as posible. However, we have discovered that she will be living right down the hall from us.</p>
<p>Secondly, my 2 friends and I have to live in a room with 4 other girls (all friends as well). Normally, this wouldn't be an issue, but our room was only made for 5 people, not the 7 that they are squeezing into it. Now, because this arrangement is going to result in severe overcrowding, 2 girls were given the option to move to another room (but be away from all of their friends). These girls, however, are refusing to use this option because they want to remain near their friends. I completely empathize and understand why they are staying, but space-wise, this is going to be a disaster! So all 7 of us want to try to talk to the housng coordinator to see if anything else can be done.</p>
<p>The housing coordinator is well-known for being really mean and very unresponsive. After sending out housing assignments, she said that she would not be fielding any concerns until after move-in (which just seems incredibly impractical to me). In order to ensure this, she will be taking a vacation until move-in. But it is obvious to me and my roommates that these issue cannot wait to be resolved. </p>
<p>Do you parents have any suggestions on how to address both issues (the crazy roomie living so close and the severe overcrowding)?</p>
<p>Why was the option of moving to a different location only given to two specific members of the group of seven? Could it be given to any two? Maybe some of the others (including yourself, perhaps) would be willing to consider this option.</p>
<p>I reread your old posting about the crazy roomie from last year. Her problems included things that indicate she has very serious issues, ranging from promiscuity to racial badgering of others to suicide attempts. I'm not professional, but based on just life-experience I'd say a lot of the behaviors you describe require that others either get involved and drawn into her drama, or not. Also, some of the behaviors are entirely hers, like whether or not she studies or stays up; will have no more affect on you now that she's out of the room.
You can't control who's put on the hall, although evidently housing did take her out of your actual room suite.
My guess is she'll buzz around in the first days to see if anyone will engage with her in dialogue. I'd encourage the coolest possible non-response to anything she brings your way, hoping she'll realize no audience in you and take her neurosis to a new audience.
You actually have the power to choose to stay very pointedly uninvolved with her. Do not go and "warn" others up and down the hall about her, either; that's just remaining involved. Trust that others have common sense and if she tries to spread stuff about you, don't dignify it with a response. They'll see through her soon enough. You might, however, make sure everyone in the room is on-board not to engage her in any conversations beyond, "Hm."
Practice the coolest possible, "Hmm. Yes. Well I have to go now, g'bye..." no matter what she brings up. If she yells after you in the hall, don't even turn around to reply...just keep walking.
That's my parental advice.</p>
<p>Okay, so I was going to try to explain the situation without having to explain how Harvard housing works, but I realize that I probably need to explain that as well.</p>
<p>So, each spring all Harvard freshman are required to come up with a blocking group (a group of up to 8 people who agree to live with each other for the next three years). Each blocking group is then lotteried into an upper class house. </p>
<p>My blocking group originally had 8 people and we were lotteried into Mather House. The set-up of Mather House is that they generally put 4 people from each blocking group into two suites that are connected by a bathroom. So, you live in your suite with 3 other members of your blocking group and the other 4 live in a connecting suite to your own. Each suite is composed of 2 floors. There is a large common room downstairs, and 4 singles and the connecting bathroom upstairs.</p>
<p>Now, this arrangement ideally works with 8 people (4 blockmates in each connecting room). However, if your group has less than 8 people (say 7), then generally you are given a "floater," a person who was in an odd-numbered blocking group.</p>
<p>So because we removed one person (the crazy roomie) from our blocking group we assumed that the 7 of us would be given a floater. But we were really wrong, we were given 4 floaters. That is, there are going to be 7 of us living in a room that is too small. To remedy this, they eliminated our common room and made it into 2 singles for the other girls. This puts them in a crappy situation because one single will not have a door and the other will be smaller than everyone else's room. </p>
<p>And the housing coordinator delegates rooms within each suite. So, when we got our housing assignment it had our specific suite number and the number of our single within the suite. So, the housing coordinator assigned 2 girls the makeshift singles that are downstairs. However, these singles absolutely suck, so the girls were also given the option to move to another suite with better rooms.</p>
<p>The email contained a lot of offensive things. The tone of the message was a little scary. Overall, all of us who recieved this email got the impression that she could potentially do something to us (not necessarily physically, but rumor spreading and other malicious things) out of anger. In order to make sure that the conflict didn't escalate from there, we reported it to the school, and they assured us that she would be put as far away from us as possible. However, that obviously is not the case.</p>
<p>(Aside. I was in the first group of women to move to Mather House. Nice memories from that place!).</p>
<p>If you can't reach the housing coordinator, try contacting the house master or whomever is the housing coordinator's supervisor (Dean of student Affairs, perhaps?).</p>
<p>Why is Harvard cramming 7 people into a suite made for 4? Is there overcrowding or something? What they're doing makes no sense to me, and I'm wondering whether a mistake was made.</p>
<p>I think that there is overcrowding. They did this to about 5 or 6 oher blocking groups, so there must be way more people than they had anticipated.</p>
<p>And, I'll try to contact the House Master when she gets back from vacation in 2 weeks.</p>
<p>But, you don't think that going over the housing coordinator's head will make her angry, do you? Because she is in charge of our housing for the next 2 years as well.</p>
<p>I am glad you have the email response, as well as her original email (I presume; if not surely another girl saved it). It's always best to have "reassurances" etc. in writing and not just by phone. So -- good for you, very wise.</p>
<p>I would therefore suggest forwarding her email, the housing department's "reasurance" email as attachments on to a two-sentence email. Indicate there "must be some mistake" (let them save face) but since the housing officer is out, you are by necessity going above her to present these pieces of information. Ask that she be reassigned further from you before the school year begins.</p>
<p>I'll bow to my higher advisors who know Harvard...(Marite, Northstarmom) do you agree with my approach to this poster? I'm thinking it should go to a Dean of Students, but I don't know the hierarchy there. Basically, a supervisor of the housing official.</p>
<p>A copy of it might go to the housemaster, too.</p>
<p>I just don't know the hierarchy there.</p>
<p>Or perhaps you don't agree with my counsel, and if so, please correct me.</p>
<p>EDIT: If you go over the head of the housing administrator, I'd say keep it to the issue only of the roomie. That one is unique, whereas the overcrowding could be a shared problem with others this year. I'd like to see you get relief on the roommie and not let that get lost by combining the two requests.</p>
<p>If the housing coordinator is on vacation, then it would be OK IMO to contact her boss particularly since you got a threatening e-mail from someone in the dorm. When you contact the boss, copy the housing coordinator, and explain that you're contacting the boss because you aware aware that the housing coordinator is out of the office, and you feel that it could be a dangerous situation, so you wanted everyone to know about it early enough to carefully respond.</p>
<p>I think that the people in charge need to see that e-mail so they can respond appropriately. Colleges take things like that very seriously. Keep in mind, too, that about 8 years ago, a disturbed student killed her roommate in Dunster House.</p>
<p>This advice was good, too:
"I would therefore suggest forwarding her email, the housing department's "reasurance" email as attachments on to a two-sentence email. Indicate there "must be some mistake" (let them save face) but since the housing officer is out, you are by necessity going above her to present these pieces of information. Ask that she be reassigned further from you before the school year begins."</p>
<p>If the housing office head screwed up after you gave clear evidence that your ex-roommate was troubled, then the housing office's boss needs to know because that girl sounds like she could be very dangerous particularly if she's sending threatening e-mails. It's hard for me to imagine that if she's sending threatening e-mails, the housing office would let her live on campus either.</p>
<p>and an update from a fellow Mather resident, the housing coordinator will apparently be back from vacation in 2 weeks as well, she just doesn't plan on addressing any housing concerns until after move-in.</p>
<p>So, should I just try to email her anyway and if she doesn't respond, then go over her head?</p>
<p>It's okay to go over someone's head if you've touched base with them first; THe emails indicate she and you had an understanding already. That's why I'm saying to go over her head.
I always go up the ladder for important things, but make sure to hit every rung on the ladder, which you did.</p>
I feel the exact same way! I don't even understand why she is returning to school next year after 2 suicide attempts. But according to the school, she has a right to go to school if she has convinced them that she is stable enough to do so, even if she has a negative impact on those around her...</p>
<p>I just feel bad for her roommates next year.</p>
<p>I forgot to mention this, and if you've already sent out your email, then don't bother to change it or anything, but: you can phrase your email that this has already been decided so you're trying to implement the housing director's earlier determination to put her far from you and the former roommates, based on the summer email and prior experiences last year.</p>
<p>There's no need, it sounds like, for anyone to decide it all over again, just to make good on what she already said. (It's a different psychology than asking the person above her to rule on it).</p>