How, and should you ignore your friends' decisions?

Hello! I am a High School Senior in Florida, and I have a major issue on my hands.

Similar to other Seniors, I have made friends in school who I don’t want to leave when I go to college, but not all of them want to go to the same place. UF used to be the go-to choice, but now people are branching off, significantly making a group going to UCF and one to UF. I’ve been told countless times that I’ll make new friends, and it won’t matter, but i’m terrified that i will be influenced by them and make the wrong decision for my future. Also, I come off as really shy so I’m scared about the process of making new friends again because I’ve clung to my friends since middle school. I feel like there is a stigma around UF wherein it feels wrong to question if it’s the right college because it is so prestigious. And UCF seems too easy, like I might not have all the oppurtunity to learn there. College has been said in many blogs and videos that I’ve watched to be an experience, but is it a social one? or am I truly only there to learn?

My potential majors include Computer Science, Engineering, and Market Research and Analysis if that helps in some way.

My brother goes to UF as well, and I also think that my parents are biased towards UF so I would really appreciate some outside input in this matter.

Thank you ahead of time to any replies that this gets.

  • A nervous senior

Senior year is hard, so many decisions, so much change you’re facing! I remember feeling the same way. I went off to a college out of state where I knew NO ONE. I didn’t consider myself particularly outgoing at the time. Well living in the dorms is a quick way to make friends! In fact, it’s easier when you don’t know anyone, because then you’re not tempted to cling to those people you already know. There is so much to do and get involved in, if you make a decent effort you will make friends quickly.

UCF has strong engineering and computer programs. As to which one is right for you, only you can decide between UCF and UF. (not FSU?) I wouldn’t make that decision based on where your friends are going, but which school feels right to you, and which has the resources you’ll need for your potential majors.

Good luck!

@FloridaUndecided, I was really shy when I was young. I’m going to give you another way to view this. I found it was actually very liberating (as a shy person) to go off to a new place where no one knew me, because then I felt free to be anyone I wanted to be! No one had to think of me as that really shy girl unless I gave them reason to. I actually didn’t change personalities so much, I never really strayed so much from the person I really am in terms of values, but it felt freeing to know that no one had any preconceptions of me. That made it easier to try out more outgoing behavior without feeling so self-conscious. As a young adult I made several moves to new places, and each time felt more adventurous and less scary. Getting rid of the shyness was incremental and took time…but each new experience helped.

Can you close your eyes, imagine each school (without thinking about any of your friends) and get a gut feeling about which feels happier and more exciting?

@FloridaUndecided - I know several adults who choose a lessor college because friends or a gf/bf went there. To a person, they have regretted it. The high school friends melt away after a semester and the Turkey Dump has become a ritual.

Go to the school that fits you best as an individual, not based on what other people are doing. Your future self will thank you.

FWIW, my son’s roommate at UF has friends from home (couple hours away) and is still friendly with son and others on on their floor. It’s possible to keep friends from h.s. and meet new ones! Sometimes it’s even a little easier, depending on the situation.

I would visit both schools with an open mind. Is there one that just “clicks” more with you? Would you get Honors College at one school or the other? I’ve heard that UCF has a great hacker club. My CS son did not apply to UCF which was probably short-sighted on our our part. That being said, he loves UF and living in the engineering LLC (East Hall). UF is a tough place - hot in the summer, cold in the winter (at least so far). Lots of smart students and thus competition. But it is special too. It’s hard to quantify the intangible feeling you get when you’re in the Gator Nation. There really is a zeal for excellence. But is it some perfect nirvana? No, of course not. But UCF wouldn’t be either.

I truly think college life is what you make of it ultimately. There is no right or wrong answer. Begin with the end in mind, accepting that things may change as it all unfolds. Trust the process. Keep seeking the answer that is best for you (and many factors go into that).