How Can I Avoid a Conselor Recommendation ... She Hates Me

Applying to College
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<p>Okay everyone, so my counselor doesn't like me, plus, she doesn't understand college admissions (small public school, surprise). So, she's writing in her recommendation that I have a history of bad character and I'm irresponsible. (which is equivalent to me not agreeing with her methods of counseling students for emotional needs and her noncooperation with AP chapter tests that she has to print out every few weeks for me).</p>

<p>So, what can I do to to avoid the blow from this horrendous woman's recommendation that will probably keep me out of almost any even semi-selective school? I don't want her cattiness to affect my future.</p>

<p>AHHH! I am freaking out here guys, please HELP!</p>

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<p>Talk to the principal about it first, if that doesn't work talk to the schools you're serious about about your options</p>

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<p>Do you have another guidance counselor that could write a recommendation for you? I am not sure if there are any colleges/universities that don't require a counselor recommendation. Perhaps someone knows about any colleges/universities that do not.</p>

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<p>We have a graduating class of 30 people -- this counselor is K-12 .. :S</p>

<p>Aghh, I already talked to the principal, he said that he can't make decisions for her, and that I'd have to talk to her. I probably will discuss it with her, but I don't even know what to do if she isn't willing to take that bologna out...</p>

<p>Seriously, I don't want to end up going to U of Iowa because of this woman :(</p>

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<p>cry....</p>

<p>srsly.
just confront her. </p>

<p>or hope your application can absorb the force, i dont even know if colleges read those things.</p>

<p>also maybe you could hope that she writes a grammatically poor recommendation so that they disregard it.</p>

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<p>First of all, there is life outside the top 50. If you're a genuinely talented person, whether or not you graduate from an Ivy, your talents will shine through on your resume anyway.</p>

<p>Now to address the issue: I'd recommend including an explanatory note with each of your applications (100% free from self-pity; take some of the blame yourself, it looks much more mature), as well as an extra teacher recommendation to make up for that negative one.</p>

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<p>I am a talented person, but all this work I've done to make sure I can get into a good college will have gone to complete waste if I don't at least have a chance at a top 30...</p>

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<p>I was with you until I got to this. This is just flat ridiculous. Thousands and thousands of people make fantastic successes of themselves without even ever visiting a top 30 school. Honestly, you need to get a hold of reality here.</p>

<p>As far as your guidance counselor goes, in a pinch, you can go to a school board member and ask for help. Your success will reflect well on your school. However, if you go with the attitude you just showed, heaven help you. You will not only deeply insult every board member, administrator and teacher, but you'll come off sounding like an arrogant fool that the guidance counselor has pegged just right.</p>

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<p>Guys, stop giving this person the philosophical lowdown about how if he truly shines, then it does not matter which college he goes to. Obviously, if he really does truly shine, he is going to get more of an advantage coming out of a top name school in terms of job offers and such. Why should he/she be penalized by one person when he/she has been working hard for the past four years up to this point. Obviously, if what stood between you and a higher ranked school was one person, then you'd be pretty upset as well.</p>

<p>On the other hand, if you have several stunning recommendations from teachers that know you better, adcoms will realize that there is something amiss.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Thousands and thousands of people make fantastic successes of themselves without even ever visiting a top 30 school.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>LOL. If you argue that point, then you also fail to mention that there are an equal amount, if not more people that make fantastic successes of themselves with attending a top 30 school.</p>

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<p>hugue - I know <top 30 does not equal failure, but I at least want a chance at the top 30..</p>

<p>Thanks Jchen</p>

<p>I am hoping that I can get stunning recs ... the teachers like me, but I am not sure how amazing they are at writing recommendations.</p>

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<p>JChen, I must respectfully disagree.</p>

<p>After I graduated High School, I worked in the marketing industry for 2 years, and because of my work ethic, was able to run a branch office of a $200 million company. When I was being taught how to make HR decisions, I was told to almost entirely disregard school ("Make sure their degree is from a legitimate school" - I kid you not) and focus more on class rank, working experience, and how the person presents him or herself.</p>

<p>In my experience interviewing recent college graduates, I found that IN GENERAL they did not present themselves as well as graduates of well-respected state universities and liberal arts colleges.</p>

<p>Furthermore, depending on what a person wants to major in, an Ivy does not necessarily offer a great deal of working experience (by way of internships and co-ops). For example, if a person is interested in Marine Engineering, they would be best served by attending Mass Maritime, where they'll log at least 6 months of time at sea.</p>

<p>Actually, I prefer not to go to an Ivy, or even a school in the Top 50. I chose the best school for me and my personality, and what I'm looking to do with myself after school - NOT for its reputation.</p>

<p>/Rant.</p>

<p>To Neal, I wish you the best, but please make sure that you remove ALL tones of self-pity when you go before the board or school committee. Otherwise, as Huguenot said, you will only hammer in the guidance counselor's point for her. Pay particular attention to your tone of voice. Keep it steady and calm.</p>

<p>And please stop discounting your teachers' skills. Again, this makes you sound arrogant. They are just fine at writing recommendations; that is one of the things they are taught to do, usually in an annual workshop.</p>

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<p>the OP is asking for help on how to avoid a negative rec letter. and i see bunch of ppl here criticing him/her. c'mon ppl...nobody wants a truly negative rec letter. recommendation letters are not supposed to be negative. put urself in his/her shoes, i don't think u would like that one bit either. </p>

<p>thank God mine actually likes me.....i think.</p>

<p>i'd definitely talk to the GC. if she doesn't budge, then talk to the college. don't forget ur parents too. if ur 'powerless' against an authority head, let ur parents go talk to her. should help a little. good luck</p>

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<p>SRK:</p>

<p>Nah I agree with you as well. My comment was mainly pointed towards huguenot who made it sound like the OP was a jerk because he wouldn't be "in tuned with reality" if he was thinking about attending a top 30 school. Also the fact that huguenot also made it seem like the OP was an "arrogant fool" like his guidance counselor apparently pinned down. </p>

<p>I think that the OP is pretty freaked out, and stressed, as many people are when it comes to college apps. This stress might make the OP seem like he's playing the blame game. Anyways, it's stressful enough thinking that the college you choose might decide your future, whether or not you argue that hard work ethic will pull ahead of a prestigious name. It's a place where you're probably going to spend the next four years of your life. </p>

<p>But I know what you're talking about SRK. It's a generalization to say that some people at top Ivy's are the type that do nothing but study, and have their stats reflect who they are, rather than gaining strong personal and social skills. This is what you're probably seeing in your interviews. </p>

<p>Anyways good luck Neal and let us know how it goes =)</p>

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<p>Are your parents aware of this? If there is truly a problem, you may be able to get the vice principle or your advisor, or someone else to write the counselor recs for you. I had my oldest sons applications handled by someone other than his assigned counselor because of some conflict issues. Sometimes this cannot be done, and you then have to look at some schools that do not require recs as safeties for you.</p>

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<p>I chatted with the principal, he said that I'd have to go through her. I talked to her today and she implied that it wasn't as bad as I imagined.... but I still don't want it to be negative.... I want neutral at the worst.</p>

<p>I talked to my parents, and they might talk to the counselor themselves. I am going to ask to read the recommendation myself. Hopefully she'll let me. At least if I read it, it will remove the unknown-factor.</p>

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<p>Seriously, my god, every post that someone remotely alludes to a "top school" gets a bunch of "Life isn't all about top colleges, you can succeed without going to college, I know person X...". Oh, really? </p>

<p>Yes, Sherlocks... you can succeed without knowing what 2+2 is, technically. Now drop these cheesy anecdotes about how someone's cousin didn't go to college and is making 6 digits; it isn't relevant to the thread.</p>

<p>To the OP: it may be troublesome, but really, if you're excellent in most areas it won't be a big deal. If your teacher recommendations, your essays, and etc are all fine, I don't think they'll stress the counselor rec so much; they must understand that not all counselors are nice/caring.</p>

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<p>The point is that you have every right to go to whatever school you wish to apply to -- your counselor shouldn't be limiting those choices because of some lame issue or grudge.</p>

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<p>Invoyable, I highly recommend you actually READ what myself, Huguenot and the others wrote. Your tone is way out of line and frankly, your sarcasm and degrading comments about other schools (ie "Yes, you can get by without knowing 2+2") obscure the relative validity of your point.</p>

<p>Had you read my posts, you may have seen that I definitely respect that Neal wants to go to a great school, and good for him, but my point was to ensure that he knows that if he does in fact get rejected, it's not the end of his life. (My sister goes to a Top 25 school, and I remember how stressed she was when she got the first few rejection letters from the Ivies.)</p>

<p>I also included several pieces of advice in both of my posts describing what action should be taken. It sounds like Neal is moving forward in the process, and everything should turn out fine.</p>

<p>JChen, thanks for clearing that up. I'm a writer so I go off on tangents...quite frequently. :X</p>

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<p>okay so the OP's original post was not worded in the best way possible. that i agree. but ppl, do be a lil generous. we're all freakin out</p>

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<p>
[quote]
Invoyable, I highly recommend you actually READ what myself, Huguenot and the others wrote. Your tone is way out of line and frankly, your sarcasm and degrading comments about other schools (ie "Yes, you can get by without knowing 2+2") obscure the relative validity of your point.</p>

<p>Had you read my posts, you may have seen that I definitely respect that Neal wants to go to a great school, and good for him, but my point was to ensure that he knows that if he does in fact get rejected, it's not the end of his life. (My sister goes to a Top 25 school, and I remember how stressed she was when she got the first few rejection letters from the Ivies.

[/quote]

I understand my tone wasn't necessary. Also, that I haven't read your post exactly - I tend to skim posts really quickly in these forums. I understand that you may have given thoughtful advice as well, but I was merely stating how tired I was of seeing the obvious "You do not have to go to a good college (this much "sarcasm" and tone wasn't even that bad, come on ;)), it isn't the end of your life" a lot, in a lot of places where they don't necessarily need to be said (I'm not necessarily talking about this one). If one said in the beginning of a thread (this isn't an actual thread, I believe, just making something up), "I want to go to...Yale, for X reasons," I found it really funny how way over half the people would reply with, "Oh, yale isn't the end of your life, there's life beyond it." </p>

<p>Either way, the point of this thread was that Neal's fixing his problems. So if he's done that...</p>