How can I avoid writing too much for UC prompt 1?

College Essays
1

<p>Hello, I am having difficulties with the UC Prompt #1, and I have gone through two bad iterations of my draft. I believe I know what I want to say in my personal statement, but I end up writing too much. Not only do I go beyond the recommendation of 500 words, I write things I don't develop further. </p>

<p>So far, I tried to write how the lack of support from my parents when I was a child was a precedent of me having to fend for myself in middle and high school. By writing about a long period of time however, I think I never really develop anything I write throughout my statement. </p>

<p>So what I am wondering is, If I talk about how I had to fend myself in high school, do I need to write about my parents? If I don't, then I will not be able to explain the "world" I "come from". When I do write about my parents however, I only do so to explain how it precipitated my middle and high school career, so it is not well developed.</p>

<p>I appreciate your response!</p>

2

<p>I believe that the reader of this essay wants to know more about you than the world you come from. It should probably be evenly divided about 50% world and 50% YOU, or even 1/3 world and 2/3’s you. It sounds like your essay currently might be more heavily weighted toward your world. I would make sure you error on the side of not completely developing your world as opposed to not completely developing yourself. It’s not an autobiography, but rather a fairly brief 500 word essay, so it won’t be perfectly detailed. If you go over by 10 or 15 percent, I wouldn’t worry too much, but try not to go much over that.</p>

3

<p>Thank you jshain. What you said makes perfect sense to me. As of now, my draft devotes like 1/4 or 1/3 on the world. Still, I am glad to know I don’t have to devote too much effort to describe the world I come from.</p>