<p>As parents, what differences, if any, did you notice (near term, long term) about your child due to attending boarding school? We all hope for maturity, growth...did it happen? In what way?</p>
<p>After one year of BS for my son, I noticed this summer that he was much more responsible and confident. My wife and I could not be more pleased with his development.</p>
<p>Wonderful, toombs61! Did the parental relationship with him improve as well?</p>
<p>No, not really. The bonds of respect and love between parants and son have always been strong. They remained pretty much the same, if not a bit stronger (as strange as that may seem).</p>
<p>I noticed that my S was much more confident and talkative with other adults. Most of our friends commented on this change in him when he came home for Christmas break. I’ve also noticed that he takes care of things himself. If something goes wrong at school, he contacts the teacher and gets it taken care of.</p>
<p>As to our relationship, I would say improved. Not having to nag about homework, and the like makes our time together much more enjoyable. Plus he seems happier and more approachable when he is home.</p>
<p>Overall I am thrilled with his experience so far.</p>
<p>Sounds great! S is starting a pre-prep for 8th. He was unhappy at home (chafing at the reigns…very spirited & independent type) and jumped at the chance to go to boarding school. I will miss him, of course…it’s not within driving distance. Yet if a school can nudge this boy towards taking responsibility for his own work, better academic skills (organization, work ethic), then it will be well worth it. If not…we’ll panic (LOL). And yes…not having to nag about homework…oh my, that alone would make it all worthwhile.</p>
<p>Starting our third year - have seen very little change in daughter. She is no more responsible than before and we still have to nag her about homework - although now it is over the phone.</p>
<p>Yikes, PhotoOp. We got to the point where nagging just didn’t work…it seemed to just inflame things. Hopefully you have not gotten to this point. He is actually repeating 8th grade because S just stopped doing the work last year at his old school…didn’t even graduate…so yes, I am pretty worried. It is do or die here.</p>
<p>I don’t think BS changes the kids’ much and it is really hard to assess if a kid that is being more comfortable around adults is so because of BS or because he is a year older (and would have been so no matter where he/she attended schools) . . . . Parents want to believe their sacrifice and $ made the difference, but I am not convinced it is so in many cases. PhotoOp, we switched advisors this year in the hopes of reducing the phone nagging, but are not holding out much hope that things will change much.</p>
<p>I don’t think BS changes the kids’ much and it is really hard to assess if a kid that is being more comfortable around adults (or more mature) is so because of BS or because they’ve become a year older After all, teens evolve quite a bit over the course of high school no matter where they are. . . . Parents want to believe their sacrifice and $ made the difference, but I am not convinced it is so.</p>
<p>BS did not so much “change”, it develops what was there in our case. S had exceptional potential, but had bad middle school experience. Getting into a challenging BS environment helped to bring out the best in him. For the first time he was with others who in some ways were shunned for being intelligent. Enough said on the start… </p>
<p>Now things are great, one item that I was happy to see was the excellent relationship with his college professors. Having been at a BS faculty members home for social events or even just for coffee, did great things in terms of development. He knows that his prof’s are human as well as being educators. It allow for relationships that typically don’t form until grad school to be under development during his undergraduate studies. It also helped with maturity, he does not feel that he has to drink every beer that comes his way or for that matter, do the things that cause so much trouble for Freshman and Sophomores. Having the freedom to make choices and mistakes are part of growing up, some of these mistakes were made at BS (nothing really severe), but this accelerated his maturation and judgment. </p>
<p>The impact is positive on grades as he “knows why he is there”, while many others lack the emotional maturity. College is just as much about how to learn as it is to getting along with the others in social and hierarchical environments, BS made that a whole lot easier.</p>
<p>Our daughter has absolutely blossomed in boarding school. She was always an independent, bright leader, and would have been fine if she had stayed home for high school. However, boarding school has been the absolute best experience for her, and when I compare it to what she would have received at home, education wise, there just seems to be no comparison. The opportunities presented to her, and the friendships made, are priceless. Thanks to this experience, she is in great shape for starting college next autumn.</p>
<p>My husband attended a pre-prep, which was a very good experience for him - and he then went on to prep school, which he would classify as some of the best years of his life. I too went to boarding school - I didn’t love it, but I do appreciate the experience, and the lifelong friendships made.</p>
<p>I agree with other parents. The first year of boarding school did not change our child. It allowed her to develop the strengths and interests she possessed as an 8th grader. After the first year, she is happier than she was at the end of 8th grade. It has been a joy for us to witness her intellectual and personal growth. </p>
<p>She has matured and grown, but I would not say that the boarding school experience made her into a different person. (Searching for a metaphor.) If you release a bonsai oak from its pot, and stop trimming the roots and pruning the branches, the tree will eventually grow into a standard oak. That’s the closest I can come tonight to defining the difference a year has brought. The potential has always been there.</p>
<p>I would like to clarify that the “changes” I have seen in my S were probably there all along BS just helped bring them out. He has not become a different person just a more mature version of himself. Would he have become this at our local public school? Probably over time, but possibly not until he left home and went to college.</p>
<p>On a lighter note some of the things that I wanted to see change like him picking up his clothes have not improved one bit!</p>
<p>Ditto, S`45; my son remains a slob. BS has not cured him one bit of his innate and twisted ability to destroy a bedroom in minutes of his entry by tossing randomly everywhere clothes, dirty clothes and dirt. His faculty adviser is his dorm head this year. I hope that this advisor, who was born and raised in Germany, will force my son to be neater this year, yah? We shall see.</p>
<p>toombs - too funny. My daughter left this morning and my entire house is a wreck, she left remnants in every single room of the house.</p>
<p>toombs61- That is so funny! I hate to burst your bubble though, my very best friend and her husband are from Germany, my house is way tidier than hers! But I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.</p>
<p>I was shocked during a visit to my d at school to find that her room was much tidier than her room at home. When I commented on this she told me that at school she felt a social responsibility to keep her room clean. What about your family responsibility, lol? I have resorted to occasional inspections and have told her that before she leaves in a few days there will be an inspections. </p>
<p>My d has definitely blossomed at school and is happier and more confident. I don’t think this would have happened at home. She decided she did not like her school or community and was determined to be unhappy, boarding school gave a fresh start. I didn’t think she would be able to make it to class on time without me waking her every morning as I had to do at home, but she has somehow managed without me.</p>
<p>Hmm. Instead of a German schoolmaster, maybe my son needs an Italian exorcist.</p>
<p>Toombs, I hope your child isn’t my child’s new roommate. If so, their classmates might quickly declare them the BMOCs (Biggest Mess on Campus). Last year’s final report from the houseparents politely suggested that perhaps child’s room was the most disorganized and the most “lacking in tidiness” they’d seen in their 3+ decades of BS houseparenting. Hopefully, such accolades will be appreciated by college ad coms, because child devotes great effort and untold hours to digging through piles in search of everything.</p>