<p>Hello prep parents! Interviews & visits with 3 schools are around the corner now and our child is just about finished up w/ essays for all the apps.
But WE'RE not. Curious about how other parents tackled the "parent comment/ essay?" </p>
<p>I realize this part is optional on most b.s. apps so maybe not everyone does it. If you didn't- was there a reason you felt it was better not to do so? And for those parents who did-did you use the opportunity to: Give a rundown of your child's accomplishments that weren't already listed elsewhere on the app? Did you share touching stories from their formative years? Talk about why your child (and you) feel XYZ School is the school they are destined to attend? Did you bring up the actual process of applying? Was your essay more centered around school accomplishments or more personal? So many ways we could go on this and just not really sure which direction will be most effective.</p>
<p>My husband and I have no shortage of reasons/ stories we could share as to why we feel our child would be a terrific addition to the schools for which they're applying but are worried that no matter how carefully we try to avoid it, our essay will essentially still just be seen as "another set of parents who think their kid is great."
It'd be great to get some advice (from parents who have BTDT) about how to best get this message across to an admissions staff who no doubt reads through hundreds of these every week. Thanks in advance for any tips. Cheers!</p>
<p>I too am curious how parents choose to use this opportunity.</p>
<p>I have not BTDT, I am still in the process but I did write a short paragraph on a common app. </p>
<p>I wrote about my childs personality traits and recent growth that makes me feel she is a fit for boarding school. I was very careful to write as objectively as possible and not effuse too much :)</p>
<p>The field I was writing in was very short so that was helpful.</p>
<p>Hi, goforprep. We too were careful not to gush about our child, precisely for the reason you mentioned - it would be too easy to dismiss us. We used the space to primarily to paint a balanced picture of DC, so that the school could best determine if there was a good fit or not. What we wrote was personal enough that it uniquely described DC and could not have been used to describe any other kid. </p>
<p>Guess it worked, or at least did not hinder - DC was very happy on March 10th and is extremely happy at the new school.</p>
<p>Good luck to you - I was so glad to have this part over with!</p>
<p>I forget the questions. The teacher recommendations address behaviors the teachers observe in school. You can shed light on the rest of your child’s life. Are there activities he or she particularly enjoys, such as scouting, helping neighbors, or creating videos with friends? Don’t think of it as one more opportunity to list awards. Give a picture of your child as a person.</p>
<p>We used the Parent Statement to paint a more nuanced picture of GG than some of the “raw data” might show, and also to discuss our family’s approach to GG’s education, since we were homeschooling for 8th grade (and had done so for a couple of years before middle school, as well), some of the personal traits that GG herself discussed in apps but from the adult perspective, etc. Without gushing, we discussed personal and community accomplishments mostly in terms of how they affected future goals, and what she, and we, were seeking for a high school experience. Like other posters, we were careful to be thorough and positive while also being objective, or at least as objective as it is possible for parents to be ;-)</p>
<p>BS are admitting “families” as well as students; some feel this way more than others, but it is certainly true that all schools will react negatively to parents who are demonstrably not a good fit as BS parents or who do not support their kid. If, on the other hand, parents show they understand what the school is trying to achieve, that they will support that mission (in non-financial ways), and that this particular school really appeals to them as a good fit for their child, that all can help. So, parents can really screw it up for the child, or they can possibly help, a lot. (Many just sound similar, sitting all “in the middle”?) For some schools, knowing that a kid will definitely choose that school over others, can be very helpful in moving the kid from the waitlist to the admit pile. (Particularly true for FP families, but also for FA kids with strong hooks?) Always point out how or why the child is ready for BS, but also suggest, if possible, why this particular school is appealing. The child’s portion of the app should really help in addressing the child’s desire to contribute to the community, and how they would do that. If the child has left out something particularly important along those lines worth adding, then consider doing so. Remember that the kid’s answers should ring true as their authentic voice and cannot be scripted. As others have written, the school does need to know what your expectations are. If, for instance, you felt that a BS experience at this place were an end in itself, regardless of the future collegiate destination or goals, that might be worth saying directly on the app. And if a particular school could help you to meet some specific goals, say so.</p>
<p>+1 for everything Charger posted. Also, we thought it might be helpful to schools, when considering our young-for-grade student, to know about our path to BS from homeschool and local schools (the sense of community found at summer camps over progressively longer sessions, for example, being part of what made the lightbulb go off for us)… and the desire for a community of intellectual and socially involved peers, among other matters.</p>
<p>p.s. to the OP, I would avoid “destiny” type wording . . . unless your child is a legacy/sibling, well qualified, and your intention of being the major donor for the five-year plan’s next building is already understood, there are no “sure things”, at least for the CHADES-type schools. Approach the essay with humility, showing that you know there are loads of other kids applying with equally strong resumes as your “great” kid. You will do all that you can to make BS work on your end, and the AOs will do their jobs, with nothing fore-ordained. This parent essay is a bit stressful, wondering if you got it right, but give it the time/effort it deserves and let the chips fall where they may. As always, good luck!</p>
<p>As I struggle through the parent section of the Choate application, I can see that the advice Charger78 offers in post #8 is especially valuable. This particular school seems to place a great deal of importance on the parental input. (And I can’t help but feel as if I am on the brink of messing it all up. Yikes!)</p>
<p>Slumper- when my kids were at Choate, they cared a lot about character and citizenship- I remember that one of the parent questions was about “your family’s values.” Hope that helps…</p>
<p>I tackled the parent essay for Thacher by writing about the two or three major events or issues in my son’s life that had shaped his character, for good and for bad. I talked about how he fit in our family and among his peers. I discussed his resilience. And I discussed what he seemed to care about most. Until the last couple of lines where I lapsed into a “how lucky we’ve been to have a kid like him,” I took a pretty hard, third party journalist perspective. I cannot imagine the AO’s boredom reading one paean after another and so I thought an objective tone would be refreshing. </p>
<p>Finally, I couldn’t agree more with Charger about “admitting a family;” and I’ve said so myself dozens of times on CC. Especially with the smaller schools like Thacher, a single student and his/her parents can have a huge impact on the community.</p>
<p>My thinking when we did the essays was that less is more; we didn’t write more than 5-8 sentences for each kid. I thought it was important to express unqualified support of our kids’ application, and to give a little parental perspective on the child. Who knows if this was the right approach because I think the results depended on other factors. If our approach was a good one then you needn’t worry (but don’t undercut anything your kid says in the application).</p>
<p>When I filled these essays out I had no apprehension about writing them, I wrote about why we as parents respected and trusted our child in her endeavors. I pointed out one life altering event that had changed our child, and although a difficult event, the outcome was that she was stronger, more determined and more focused. It was surrounding a medical crisis she had gone through and conquered and done so with the grace and poise that we could not understand. </p>
<p>So I would say if there is an event that literally changed your child’s life for the better, even if it was a difficult event it’s worth putting into words. We had no doubt that after what our child went through boarding school would be another phase in her life she would embrace. It must have worked she wound up exactly where she was meant to be and she could not be more happy or prepared to be there.</p>
<p>Been away from CC for a few days with New Year’s activities and application stuff-but we really appreciate all the great advice on this!
Thanks!</p>
<p>We mentioned that it was challenging to raise a child who was clearly thirsty for knowledge, and our appreciation for educators who were willing to work with motivated/talented students. </p>
<p>Some essays asked about strengths and weaknesses- for weaknesses we mentioned child trying to take on too many projects and activities ranging from academics to sports to community service, and the difficulty of coordinating that with both working parents.</p>
<p>Overall, just trying to appear pleasant, and support the general idea of boarding school.</p>
<p>I had the essay writing duties in my family (my wife handled most of the other stuff). My essays were for NYC day schools, but many of the same principals apply.</p>
<p>Generally, I made sure to look through the materials about the school including their website. It was usually very clear from those what the school considered important. I then tried to talk about my son’s characteristics with those points in mind so that I could show how he would fit in.</p>
<p>Where appropriate, I built the essay around my son’s athletic achievements in an unusual sport (more common at boarding schools but present at a few of the NYC day schools). Instead of saying how he had such-and-such acheivement, I focused on the benefits to him of participating in this sport (character building of facing a tough opponent, the way the sport helped him develop strategically, camraderie with other participants, etc.).</p>
<p>I approached them with angst, trepidation, procrastination, and, in most cases, undisguised hatred . . . the expression of which was limited to my posts on CC and did NOT show up in the essays! :D</p>
<p>That having been said, the above advice is sound. The parent essay should be limited to things that only you (and not the the teacher or the guidance counselor) can say. There’s no point in repeating what someone else has likely already said.</p>