As an introvert, you just have to turn the switch on… smile… and be your most delightful / best self. Then…
Step 1: Pursue your interests and passions
Every semester, I joined two things…
Groups that I’m passionate about (e.g. faith-based groups, international groups, volunteer opportunities)
OR college classes that are interesting to me (e.g. Tae Kwon Do PE class, ice skating PE class, ballroom dancing PE class, college music classes, college cooking classes, etc.).
Step 2: Be the inviter. Not the one waiting for an invite.
Everywhere I went, I smiled and invited people around me (students at the dorm, classes, clubs, jobs, internships) to activities that I needed to do anyway (e.g. eat at the cafeteria, power walking, study together, etc.). These are the easy yeses, because they need to study and eat, too.
“Hey I’m putting together a study group. Does anyone want to study together?”
“Hey does anyone have time to eat lunch together?” (If they packed their lunch, you can still pick up a sandwich, and eat outside together.)
Step 3: Be curious. Find things in common with everyone around you.
I paid attention, and asked questions, and listened to what they like to do.
“Where are you from?”
“Have you decided on a major?”
“What classes are you taking? Is the professor good?”
“What do you do for fun?”
Step 4: Connect. Either you say yes, or they say yes. Invite people to group activities (there’s safety in numbers!).
Someone wanted to go clubbing… I said, “Ok.”
Someone wanted to sign up as extras for a student film… Lol, sure!
Someone wanted to attend an Indian cultural dance / Asian celebration… “Umm, I don’t know anything about it, but why not.”
If they play drums, and you play the keyboard… organize a jam session.
If they mention gaining weight, say, “Me too! So I’ve been power walking / running every afternoon. You can join me if you want.”
If they mention they can’t wait to watch the next Marvel movie and you really want to watch it, too…
“ME TOO! Should we get a group of people to go see it?”
If they mention they’re staying in town for Thanksgiving, ask if they want to help you throw a Thanksgiving potluck dinner for international students.
If they mention they’re obsessed with fashion or organizing, and you’re the opposite, ask for advice / helpful tips, or ask if they have time to give you a makeover.
Step 5: Say no to toxic people / illegal activities.
Know your limits in advance… set your boundaries… not everything is beneficial… and not everyone will think of your best interest.
After one semester, I had several groups of friends.
Group 1: We signed up for the same PE classes.
Group 2: We had set a weekly get-together… dinner and something. Each person would take a turn planning it.
Group 3: We were volunteering together once a week.
And I studied with different classmates.
FYI: the groups will change as you meet more people, and others drift apart or graduate… and that’s ok.
Good luck!
