When I was at the accepted students weekend with D at her chosen school, the director of safety came in and spelled out exactly how many cameras were onsite and explained that they were designed to automatically swivel towards the call boxes one uses for emergencies when there is a call. I didn’t know that was even possible-it impressed me quite a bit. He also gave the stats on how long it takes for a response to a call, and explained the way to get an escort at any time at night. It’s in an urban area and a lot of the kids work off-campus.
Maybe you can look into these kinds of details for the OOS schools you’re looking at. I don’t agree with your mother agreeing to let you apply to schools and then trying to keep you from them. Anytime a young woman lives on her own she has some risks, but when one is aware and takes note of safety options, those risks can be reduced. Given the things I hear about every fall at our own in-town flagship, I’m no more worried about D going away than if she was going to be across town.