<p>Some kids genuinely welcome input from parents......</p>
<p>Not original (this came from Carolyn or Marite or some other CC sage) but I think it's good advice: Among your choices, at which school do the students most closely reflect the person you think you'd like to be in four years. Go there.</p>
<p>Happy deciding to your son, Cami.</p>
<p>Quote: "Among your choices, at which school do the students most closely reflect the person you think you'd like to be in four years. Go there."</p>
<p>I think that's fabulous advice, and reminds me almost word for word what my D. said to me during this period 5 years ago: she had just gotten off the phone from someone from Johns Hopkins after receiving her acceptance. She said the person sounded really nice, and alot like her in certain ways (very studious, serious, maybe a bit too serious). She said that she feared if she went to JH, she'd be surrounded by kids who, too closely, embodied that aspect of herself, and she felt she wanted to become a little more laid back, to branch out a bit emotionally and socially. Her experience at Brown afforded her that opportunity...she still has her serious, driven side, but I think she is more spontaneous and has loosened up a bit as a result of her 4 years there. So, perhaps the college selection process should ideally be about both finding kindred spirits and about seeking personal growth, just as wjb's post suggests.</p>
<p>I wish I had come up with that bit of advice, wjb, but alas, I did not. But thanks for crediting me with it! :)
What I did say was that my S did not want to be surrounded by kids exactly like himself.</p>
<p>Well, Marite, I guess if Carolyn doesn't show up soon, I can take credit! ;)</p>
<p>I think what might be making it hard is that he was really hoping to go to Brown, and it is hard to transition to making a decision among the other schools, when on some level he was not planning to have to make that decision. (hope that makes sense!)</p>
<p>We were in a similar situation. My son applied to eight schools, but only one was the clearcut first choice -- if he was admitted to that one, he would go no matter what the other offers were. He was rejected by that school, but did get admitted to five of the eight, and waitlisted at one other. He had never ranked any of the other schools. So he was cautious about making the decision between the other five. The good news is that now he is saying that he thinks he prefers where he is going to go to the school that was his first choice. However, he needed a couple of days to process all of this after doing a re visit program.</p>
<p>I tried to help my d choose between two great options and her friend distill the differences between four on a trip last weekend out of state. I proposed the girls use a point system to evaluate important features (academic program, campus aesthetics, weather, dorms, ECs, etc) much like the Adcoms did in evaluating our fabulous children. (The friend's dad had apparently suggested a bracket system like that used in the NCAAs, pitting Cornell v. UPenn, for example). The kids weren't crazy about that idea, protesting that the intangibles could not be reduced to points. Nonetheless, I persisted: once you've established that the academics and faculty are terriffic at both places, the dorms are better at one and the sports or music facilities are better at another, the question becomes: what sort of place would you like to live for 4 years (city, suburb), do you want live with more kids like you or to try something a little or very different, and how far should you be from home? Do you seek an adventure or do you require something within your comfort level?</p>
<p>At the end of the day, there is no CORRECT choice that makes all of the others WRONG. These are all great options, there are great kids & professors and opportunities at ALL of these schools, so whichever decision your s and my d make will be OK. I try to play a supporting role and point out each school's strengths, but I believe after speaking with kids on campus at both of my d's top choices, the answer is slowing revealing itself to her.</p>
<p>Then again, as she has observed, there's always grad school to explore some of those other options. And if this turns out to be the dead wrong choice for your child, he can always leave. I know a ton of kids who are doing that now from all kinds of places. Not our first choice, but not the end of the world and maybe a subject for another thread.</p>
<p>And finally, maybe the decision will come to him as it did to another young man I heard about, who was torn shortly before the decision was due between some school and U of Maryland. Well, he dreamed about turtles one night, woke up and decided to go to Maryland. I don't know the mascot for Chicago, but if your son dreams about elephants, you may have your answer! Good luck and remember that a month from now this will be a fading memory.</p>
<p>The Chicago mascot, which appears on the school crest, is the Phoenix. That would make for an interesting dream.</p>
<p>We were in this position two years ago -- great choices and no strong sense of which one was right. One thing D did (that did not work for her but worked for others) was to create a chart. Down one side was a long list of what she considered important. She weighted each item -- e.g. quality of instruction was weighted more heavily than food or weather. Once each item was weighted she gave it a rank (between 1 and 10). For example School A was had a higher rating than School B for geography, etc. In her case each school came out with the same amount of points (her math teacher pointed out how incredibly unlikely that would be since hundreds of points were involved). All it did was demonstrate how dead even the choices seemed -- but I have heard that this system worked well for others. She actually chose the school she had a less positive experience with at the pre-frosh admit days but it turned out well. The thing that tipped the balance? Talking to a kid from our area who went there -- a friend of an aquaintance. That was what gave her the best sense of what to do -- talking to a student at great length whom she felt came from a similar place. Also, someone mentioned "will you regret in ten years?" I think she felt she might regret it if she did not take the leap to go somewhere far from home and leave her comfort zone. She knew that was the riskier choice but she did have concern she would later regret making a safer choice. It's good to try to project down the line -- will I regret what I don't choose?</p>
<p>My S made his decision at the very last minute last year. We could all hear the clock ticking. It had come down to a decision between 2 schools and I think it was not only picking one but saying goodbye to the other. Admissions/faculty at both schools had really made him feel wanted. In addition to sending out the "I will not be attending" letter to the admissions office of the school he did not pick he also sent an email to the people he had met in the department he would have been in letting them know what a hard decision it had been for him and how much he appreciated their decision to accept him. I think this made S feel somewhat better.</p>
<p>My son didn't visit Tufts or apply, but did both with the other two. Emory has a very laid-back feel, and Chicago is intense and serious, so just between those two, there is a significant contrast and your son would have a very different experience at one vs. the other.</p>
<p>What does he like to do, and what are his ECs? If there are no major program considerations that help him distinguish one from the other, seems like a perfect time to go with fit and quality of life for his particular inclinations and interests as the discriminator. His answer to the question: "All in all, where would you be likely to have the most FUN?" could be the tiebreaker.</p>
<p>Yulsie,</p>
<p>As it now stands, son does theater, jazz flute, and creative writing. He especially enjoys theater. He's not looking for "professional" level productions (or musical groups) ---just the chance to be involved in something. </p>
<p>He is a "quirky, intellectual" kid, and his guidance counselor assumes he should go to U Chicago since it "fits" his personality. But son is also a kid who likes to do the unexpected. For high school, he turned down the chance to go to a competitive, city wide program in the medical sciences in order to go to a small private school that was just getting started: good academics but a less intense, more social place, with a wider academic focus, a great drama coach and a lot of Jewish kids. He's really enjoyed it and has no regrets, although he might have stood a better shot at top tier schools coming from the other high school. (Who knows?) </p>
<p>I do think the Brown waitlist is a factor making his decision more difficult. He's very aware that he needs to make a choice, and that he will likely go to the school he chooses for four years. Outwardly, he's not dwelling on Brown, but it has to be there in his head.</p>
<p>Does anyone out there know anything about the middle eastern studies major at Emory? I know Tufts is strong in IR, but it looks as if Middle Eastern area studies is solid at Emory. They have a number of study abroad programs they directly sponsor in both Cairo and in Israel. Plus, there's the possibility of interning in the Carter Center and special travel grants for kids who want to study in Israel. The near eastern studies major at Chicago seems more geared to ancient languages and archaeology, although there are some classes focusing on the modern world.</p>
<p>Your son is interested in middle eastern studies- at Emory he can do study abroad programs in Cairo and Israel- Intern at the Carter Center and receive special travel grants. At U of Chicago he can study ancient languages and archaeology. (IMO) It's a no brainer- go to Emory. All the schools are great- and your son sounds like a wonderful kid who will do well wherever he goes- So just let it happen- the decision will come soon. and be HAPPY with whatever decision he makes. It will be the right school.</p>
<p>Adding info about Theatre - my son's ECs are theatre and singing, so he did check out both scenes thorougly at Emory and Chicago. </p>
<p>Chicago has a small but enthusiastic theatre group - some students get involved with productions in Chicago itself, but if your son is not that ambitious, he would probably find that the opportunities on campus are limited and that theatre is not very well supported.</p>
<p>Emory has that wonderful performance hall and a respected drama department. However, although the student companies seemed to be fun and there are plenty of them, the main-stage productions are dominated by the faculty and the company in residence, and the student companies don't get the best venues. The conclusion was that theatre activities at Emory would have a definite ceiling, which my son didn't like.</p>
<p>I have no knowledge of Tufts theatre - anyone here? </p>
<p>If your son does get into Brown this summer, the Brown theatre scene has a great reputation. I know two theatre-addicted students there and they are both extremely pleased with the opportunities and the support that drama enjoys on campus.</p>
<p>Tour of a colleges are very important! If you can spend a night or two on a campus it helps. You want to make sure you can get past the PR machine of the school. Also check out video tours or guide books! You need as much information as possible.</p>
<p>In addition to the University Theater productions at UChicago, there other ops - my son just worked in a production of R&J in a Shakespeare group. As far as other theaters go - Chicago is after all, second city. </p>
<p>I am not sure of the middle eastern studies, but my son is covering his Civ core requirement with 3 quarters of Intro to Islamic Civilization - excellent profs, many upper-year and grad students in the classes. Many of the people that are taking arabic (language) take this. Chicago's undergraduate (and, of course, graduate) success with Fullbright scholarships might also be of interest to you son:
<a href="http://chronicle.uchicago.edu/050303/fulbright.shtml%5B/url%5D">http://chronicle.uchicago.edu/050303/fulbright.shtml</a></p>
<p>in an effort to make a decision among these three wonderful schools, i think your son has to be careful not to place undue importance on factors that be seeming more important under the circumstances than they may really be. or in other words, that he doesn't feel that in order to make this decision he has to be making other decisions that he may not be ready to.</p>
<p>for example, you are asking about middle easterm studies -- is your son really committed to this as his field of study? or is it only an area of possible interest? if the former, he is right to focus on which has the best program for what he wants. but if the latter, distinctions in the middle eastern programs may be less important than choosing a school that will let him explore his various interests so that he will be in a better position to decide what he wants.</p>
<p>someone mentioned the decision criteria of looking and seeing which school has the students who are like what he wants to become. many 18 year olds aren't ready to decide what they want to become -- they need a school that will best help them to discover who it is they want to become.</p>
<p>Cami,
My son is a junior in the Middle Eastern Studies major at Emory.He is very, very happy and is planning on his getting his ph.d in the field. The professors in the department are wonderful--excellent teachers and fabulous mentors that have turned in to close personal friends. The department is very close knit and the professors tend to have very wide-ranging areas of expertise which makes for some very interesting classes.</p>
<p>If you want some info or contacts (including my son or some of the other students in the department, or professors for that matter) just pm me.</p>