I don’t have any friends going to my college, which makes that strategy much more difficult.
And no offense, but it’s because of these tendencies of girls to exaggerate or outright lie about their relationship status that make me wary of approaching them at all anymore. There have been scenarios when I would aprroach a girl with relatively normal conversation topics and they pull out the “I have a boyfriend” card immediately. I can’t read them as easily as other girls can.
@AsadFarooqui For a different approach, I think that you should make friends with BOTH guys and girls. Once they introduce you to their friends, then the process begins. Although, I’d still try to meet girls as well because not every girl plays the boyfriend card.
Now, I’m not sure what your conversations consist of, but if a girl is playing that “card” almost every time, then I’m not sure if you’re just unlucky or haven’t met the right people, yet. I’ve actually been rejected a few times myself when I was just being friendly to them, they either played the BF card or something else. However, maybe you should try this only if they play the card:
“Even though you have a BF, you don’t mind if I add you on Snapchat just as friends?”
Try that method out, because if it worked for me, then it just may work out for you. And if she still doesn’t give it to you, then you can always try again with someone new.
On an extra note, some girls are comfortable enough to meet new people even if they have a BF. And it’s also easier to meet new people during the first few weeks of school as well.
Parties, clubs, on-campus events, etc.
I think many people go into college without any immediate friends or people they know… I certainly didn’t know anyone beforehand. The key is you can use it as an opportunity to meet new people.
Most people who say that tend to simply not have interest, or actually have a boyfriend, so move on. If you are just interested in getting to know them as a person and not romantically, let them know and say “I am just interested in getting to know you as a person.” It may be helpful to have another friend with you when you meet new people, they may be able to help you feel more comfortable in these situations.
Or just start all your conversation with anyone by getting to know them, not necessarily romantic interests which may put some people more at ease. People in college are more open than people elsewhere I have found.
Earlier you mentioned worrying about approaching women you don’t know in college because you don’t know if they’ll lie about having a boyfriend or give you a fake number. College women are usually mature enough to understand that they don’t owe men an explanation for why they don’t want to engage in conversation and they realize being single doesn’t mean they have to give their private number out to whomever thinks to ask for it, so I wouldn’t worry about them lying to you. You may want to rethink asking for the phone numbers of women you don’t know, though. If you don’t know “a single thing about her,” she’s going to wonder why you’d be asking for her number. If a guy we’ve only met in passing asks for our number, it’s a good bet he’s not captivated by our intellectual brilliance. That can be a huge turn off. I think you’d be better off trying to make friends in classes and clubs. Go out in groups and let relationships develop naturally.
What are some ways to get accustomed to groups of people (not necessarily just girls) as an introvert?
I think a good way to do it is to be doing something where you share a common interest – which is why clubs and sports are a great way to meet people. Or do something active where you can get to know people individually as well – such as joining a hiking club or an outdoors club, you can get to know people individually as you hike – and by the end of it you will know and be more comfortable with people in the group. Also because you are doing an activity, there is not necessarily the expectation that you will be talking all the time. Or simply find a group that is more attuned to your interests and possibly has other introverts – such as a book club or a game club. Food is a great way to meet people – so look out for meal opportunities or cook something and offer it to other people. Recognize the places where you already feel most comfortable and try getting to know the people in that space first. For instance if you have a roommate, that might be a great way through to meet people as well.
@AsadFarooqui Well, you can always join clubs and participate in events on campus. Most people are open between each other and they’ll talk to you no matter what, just approach anyone and you’ll be on your way to a healthy conversation with someone.
As a mixed intro/extrovert, I do enjoy my alone time, but it gets boring if I try to stay in on a Friday or Saturday night. I have a hard time doing that because I feel like I’m missing out on something, which would be parties for me.
Overall, college is all about making memories, which is important for you. Now, you may not be into parties, but honestly, trying out other things will help you grow as a person. Check out these articles on being an introvert in college: