Freshman here. Really interested in this one girl in one of my classes. We have lots of common interests, and she seems really cool. I’m pretty shy, which often leads me to avoid taking initiative in general. However, I really want to pursue this girl. I do have a medical condition called hyperhidrosis (if you’re unaware, it’s basically excessive sweating in the hands/feet) which has caused me some self-esteem issues in the past. I did have a girlfriend in high school, and I waited 6 months to finally hold her hand and tell her about my condition because I was so embarrassed, but I ended up getting burned when she decided to hook up with my best friend. Not fun. Both dead to me. Anyways, I’m a pretty cool guy once you get to know me, I go to the gym, get good grades, and I have a semi-connected group of friends. I like to believe I’m at least a decently attractive option for girls on the surface, meaning looks and sense of humor, behavior, etc. but deep down I’m worried about my anxiety and hyperhidrosis. How could I ask her out, and how should I tell her about my condition? I don’t want to wait 6 months again, but I’m really afraid she’ll be grossed out. Most people have a negative reaction to me physically touching them with my hands, because of the sweat. If I can just somehow get through this difficult stage of asking her on a date and then explaining my situation, I know I wouldn’t have any more problems regarding how to treat this girl or how to get her more interested. I’m a Christian gentleman, I’m very sweet, respectful, responsible, and loving. I don’t drink or do drugs, and I don’t really party either, but I’m still a really fun guy, and I’m actually pretty confident around the people I’m comfortable with. I do know how to treat a girl right. I just want this girl to see me for who I am. I just can’t seem to get her off my mind. Thanks for all the advice 
Isn’t there something you can get prescribed for,that? Ask your doc. Meanwhile, don’t worry about the hands right now. Get to know her. Start small. Ask her if she wants to get coffee after class. Or even smaller, like ask her about the homework. Just start talking and see where it leads.
https://www.sweathelp.org/where-do-you-sweat/sweaty-hands.html
Hi CollegeGuy,
I know college is really stressful, I don’t have great advice but it looks like there’s already some good stuff in this thread. Hopefully this gives you some hope! http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-confidential-cafe/2153891-were-getting-married.html
Ask to meet her for a meal in the dining hall or for coffee. I agree with Linda to start small and get to know her. You sound like a great guy!
“Hey, you want to get some coffee?”
Don’t worry about the sweaty hands thing. You’re not at that stage yet. You need to get her to like you in a romantic way before holding hands. Once she likes you, she probably won’t care.
First off try this… https://certaindri.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw6eTtBRDdARIsANZWjYbvAalMiCe-5QEaLThOa2Wst-3sihdCPJ_qft-leWUtm3320Pc_7XsaAvDnEALw_wcB
Many have good results. Try it on your hands etc. If not, go see a doctor. You shouldn’t have to live like this. There are also medicated wipes that a doctor can prescribe. Limit your caffeine intake since that will create more sweating.
Otherwise, “Hi, do you understand x well”?. Would you like to study together sometime?
“Hi, I am getting hungry. Would you like to go get some lunch after our class” ?
You get the idea. Since your already talking to her she might be wondering why you haven’t asked yet.
College is a place to reinvent yourself. Like I told my sorta shy /sorta introverted son. You don’t have to be the same person you were in high school. Just don’t be that same shy high schooler. Be the new college you.
Sometimes in life you just have to go for it. If your already talking to her it should be easier.
Give us an update.
Be upfront about it if you are scared. You don’t want to hide it from her. Also, ask her out. If she says no, do not insist. Remember no is no.
This is super late, but I’m ecstatic to finally have found someone with the same condition as me! I totally get what you’re saying, dude. Palmar hyperhidrosis is pretty much the whole reason my dating life has been practically nonexistent (guys don’t tend to like holding sweaty hands)–it’s the fear of rejection and disgust that really holds me back.
I’m glad that you’re putting yourself out of your comfort zone though. That’s really the first big step to getting around this obstacle (take this small piece of advice even though I don’t even listen to myself) and leading a relatively normal life.
Let us know how it went
Ask her if she would like to go have a coffee. If that goes well, ask her to meet you for dinner in the dining hall. No big deal.
Just remember, EVERYONE has - or will have in their lifetime - some kind of medical condition.
I agree with all of the advice given. Just be your charming self and don’t worry about anything else until you see if it actually deserves a discussion.
Also consider getting the sweat glands removed from your hands.
My son has highly acidic sweat that rusts the keys on his instrument. A professional flute player friend rusted two expensive instruments into complete junk. She decided to have the sweat glands in her hands surgically removed and was thrilled with difference it made in her life.
Maybe research the procedure and see if insurance might cover most of the costs.
If she doesn’t seem like the coffee type, ask her out to Jamba or get a Boba.
My friend’s dd was approached in this manner by a friend/classmate:
F: “What’s in your coffee?”
Dd: “not coffee, just herbal tea.”
F: “cool”
Next day:
F: “What kind of tea ya drinking today?”
DD: “not drinking tea today”.
F: “yeah you are!”
and handed her a gift card for the local tea place.
“I can come with you if you invite me.”
Just a nice friendly way to ask her out.
The best girlfriend is your friend first. Focus on being a good friend. Hang out together, do homework and study together, eat together. See if there are areas where you can help her and she can help you. Good Luck.
@sarrip Yes! This is the best advice!!