<p>Me and my mom have been arguying because i want to study out-of-state. I've lived in New Jersey for most of my life, and i would like to move on to a different location. New Jersey has great school and all, but i find that i can get a better education at other colleges(which happen to be out-of-state) I really don't understand what her problem is with me leaving(both my older brother and sister left home at a young age) And its not like I'm leaving home for useless reasons. I ACTUALLY DO want to continue my education, so that i can be successful. There's also not many good business schools. Furthermore, by staying in-state, i will not have the "college experience", because i will be staying home:[</p>
<p><strong><em>How do i convince my mom that i should go to school out-of-state??</em></strong></p>
<p>Has your mom specifically told you WHY she doesn't want you to go out of state? Is it a financial issue? Usually, out-of-state schools will cost twice as much as in-state. </p>
<p>Does your mom expect you to live at home while you go to college? Because, if not, if you'll be able to live off campus -- you WILL have the "college experience." Fact is, even if the school is up the road from where you live -- it'll be a whole different world if you're in the dorms or off-campus apartment. Believe me. </p>
<p>Often, parents are simply afraid of being lonely, or of 'losing' their child, especially if you're the youngest. If that is the case with your mom, you may have to be gentle with her, reassure her calmy and lovingly that you're not leaving HER, you're leaving for a richer school experience. Talk about the fun you can have when you return home for Thanksgiving/Xmas, etc. </p>
<p>Finally, find very specific, concrete reasons why specific schools would be a better fit than those available near home. Don't make generalizations -- it's hard for me to believe you can't get a good undergraduate business education in the entire state of New Jersey :) -- but deal with specifics and facts, which are harder to argue against. And which will show your mom you're mature enough to know what you want, to research schools and -- to maybe go away to school afterall. </p>
<p>Is it going out of state that really matters to you or the opportunity to live on campus rather than living at home?</p>
<p>If it's living away from your parents that appeals to you, perhaps there are opportunities to do that within your state as well as outside it. </p>
<p>Your parents may be pushing for an in-state school because if you attend a New Jersey state school (not a private school in New Jersey) the tuition would be considerably lower than it would be at a state school in another state. That may be an important consideration for them.</p>
<p>its not really a financial issue..i just think she's afraid that something might happen or that im going to "misbehave" while im gone.But im very mature, she knows that; and i tell her EVERYTHING.</p>
<p>It's natural for a parent to wish their child would stay nearby -- it gives us the illusion of security and control. You need to addess her concerns first, say that you understand she'd like you to stay in-state and that she worries about you. But then let her know that part of the college experience is not just the academics but the whole experience of being in a new place, meeting new people, being on your own, trying new things and making (little) mistakes and learning from them. Not being a car ride away will help you to grow and become more responsible, it'll give you experiences you just can't get in your own backyard. Let her know you're not leaving her, but venturing out to a new experience that you'll remember for the rest of your life. Good luck on having this dialogue with her.</p>
<p>I have 3 kids and it was hardest to let the last one go, but I finally realized I had to.</p>
<p>See if she's just afraid of having the "empty nest." </p>
<p>If so, you can discuss how you both might email, cellphone call, visit on holidays, and so on. Look at her when you talk with her, hold her hand, be warm not argumentative if you can. It might reassure her so she can see it from your point of view. </p>
<p>Also, don't sound like you're badmouthing New Jersey. It is her chosen home. Be respectful.</p>
<p>Maybe if you tell her you love her a lot, then she won't mistake all your talk about wanting to go out to grow (which is important) to think you don't love her.</p>
<p>Sometimes it's the emotions, not just the finances.</p>
<p>Can your big brother or sister help her understand? Have you talked with them lately?
Maybe they can advocate for you with her, since she's already used to them being away.</p>