This is not unusual to have a financials limit your choices it is happening all over right now. This is about your family and your money. Your school got an acceptance, that is a feather in the cap, it doesn’t mean you live your life for them or your friends–that is just teenage drama that will soon pass. Now the real issue is that debt sucks and is painful and restricting on choices like grad school, what job you can afford to take. If you think 4 years are long just think how long you will be paying and paying. What is your major?
Work over the numbers. If you would rather car and vacation money go toward Brown then say so after you have worked the numbers. Take the COA and see what can be trimmed. Oh and what has to be expanded. Is the travel allowance going to get you home for Winter break and summer? Plan to stay for thanksgiving and spring. You can always get a job at Brown. So you can make at least 600 to 900 per semester. You can work summers and make 3,000 at home but later you may be able to get a better paying internship. There are summer opportunities at brown to work and research. My dd did but I don’t know how much she saved. Summer sublets can be cheap though. She also saved money by moving off campus. Jr year is the earliest you can request it.
If you have to give it up then that is the end of that. You don’t wonder all your life. If you did that over every road not taken you would wind up in a mental hospital. Just be glad you have a really superior choice in CA.Yes my dd make that choice but the money wasn’t a factor in her situation. (I always wonder ‘what if’ Berkeley a little, but I am a little mental.)