I got rejected from Swarthmore. It wasn’t my top choice and it wasn’t my first rejection, but it hurt like it was.
High school was never fun for me, and that was primarily because of the pressure I put on myself to succeed academically. Throughout all three and a half years I’ve been there, I kept a 4.0 gpa and a weighted 4.7 gpa. I took a total of eleven AP classes and got a 1530 on the SAT. I was in three honor societies at my school. For all of high school, I’ve kept the same part time job in which I have shown great improvement in leadership abilities, as I explained in my unique and thoroughly edited personal essay. I’m an AP art student and I submitted my portfolio to colleges as well. After junior year, I spent the summer interning at a University. I got recommendations from two teachers that liked me and from my boss. I was on my school’s softball team for three years and I played travel softball since seventh grade. I have a black belt. I interviewed for every school that offered and for most of them, they went well. I’ve taken tours and gone to information meetings to show interest.
So I decided to shoot for the stars and apply to Stanford. My grades and test scores were in their range, but they accepted less than 5% of applicants. In my head, I knew it was a long shot, but in my heart, I felt that I was certain to get in, that I deserved it. Then I was rejected. I felt like I was in some twisted alternative timeline. It took a long time to slowly feel better. I’m still not over it, but I recognized that with a 4.8% acceptance rate, sometimes it just comes down to chance.
But then I was rejected from Swarthmore. The school has a 12.8% acceptance rate. Their middle 50% of students had a 1360 to 1550 SAT score. My interviewer told my he thought I would be a great fit and I thought so too. Both my heart and my head were nearly sure I would get in and I don’t understand what went wrong.
It wasn’t just chance. They don’t pull names out of hat and it wasn’t just because some reviewer had a bad day. This was a very conscious and well thought out decision to reject me. How could I have possibly not been in the top 12.8%? What did they want me to do differently? I know it’s unhealthy to dwell on these kinds of questions, but this was so important to me. This would be the first school were I could actually see myself going to. I’ve been accepted to one school, where I’m dead set on not going, and that’s it. I don’t have any other choices right now. The only other schools I would be excited about going to are more selective than Swarthmore. How will I get in somewhere with a 9% acceptance rate when I couldn’t even get into one with a 12.8% rate?
I’ve made my life a living hell for years so I could get into any college of my choosing. I stayed in Friday nights and chose studying over being with friends countless times. My academic life surrounded me but it didn’t matter. Every day, another friend shares their happy news about getting into college. This is not an exaggeration.
I’ve already tried to find ways to deal with this, but every website comes up with the same coping things that don’t apply or don’t help. Does anyone have new ideas that would help in my position? Thanks.
Dear @applicant4c My heart breaks for you and for the kids like you who are going through this hellish process. It is a terrible feeling, not only to get rejected, but to have no idea why. It may not be random, but its not fathomable by us mere mortals either. Sometimes a guidance counselor can make a phone call and get some sort of explanation, but its rare and often not the true answer either. Two years ago, a girl in our congregation, the valedictorian of her high school, got rejected from every single college she applied to except for her safety and Harvard. She replied to every Ivy as well as a few other ultra elites. How a kid can be rejected from Cornell and accepted at Harvard is beyond me. I know the family and they don’t have any special connections to Harvard.
There is nothing I can say to help you feel less anxious right now. Somehow, you’ll have to hold on until the rest of the decisions come in and keep your sanity. I would not make any assumptions about where you may and may not be accepted. IF, and thats a big IF, you only get accepted from your safety school, please know that it isn’t a reflection of your personal worth or your potential. Also, please know that there really isn’t anything you can’t achieve in life. College is four years, but you have your whole life ahead of you. Your achievements show that you are an extraordinary person, capable of great things. Don’t let this nightmarish college process define you.
One thing that helped my D1 when she was going through this, was to look at the biographies of people in the field she wanted to pursue. She found successful people from all different backgrounds. When you are feeling less miserable, you might want to take a look at all the different paths to achieve what you want. Take a look at the successful alumni from your safety school. If they were able to do great things, you can too.
Thank you for taking the time to write this, It means a lot.
A lot of schools look to have some balance in their admitted pool of students. So while you were probably in the top 12% of students that applied they may have had too many students that fit your profile (from X state, or X high school, or not a URM…) Only the particular schools know their formula.
With your work ethic you’ll do well no matter where you land.
I can understand your disappointment. Hang in there and don’t lose hope. Focus on the options available as of now that will help you move forward. When things don’t work out like we plan, it may eventually work out for the better, though we may not realise that in the moment when we hit a low. Challenges and failures push us and make us better. You have fantastic stats and must be really smart. Surely you will get into a good college and do well wherever you go and whatever you choose to do.
I can relate to you OP. When I was applying to college, Brown U was my first choice. Its humanitarian characteristics really appealed to me. and my interviewer said I would be a good fit. However, I didnt get in. My GPA and SAT were great but I was by no means a stellar applicant.
Here is something you need to know. One, at selective universities, rejections aren’t personal. They simply want to limit their freshmen pool so it’s not uncommon at all that qualified students are rejected. They are not saying you suck.
Second, unless you are trying to get into field where prestige has strong influence(i.e. Business), no matter where you go if you put efforts you will be successful. Study hard. Get great GPA. Maintain great relationships with your teachers. Involve yourself in researches/internship/Co-Op. In the end, many employers won’t care about the school name. They will see your capabilities.
Here is an example. I know two people around me, one of which went to U Penn and other went to University of Alabama, my undergrad. Upenn guy went to Wharton undergrad school, one of the best business school for undergrad. Sounds like his life will be a rose path, right? Nope. Instead, he has settled down for a small English Academy for foreign students. Not so impressive for a guy with Upenn Bachelor’s degree.
The other guy who went to UAlabama(also my friend) has worked his butt off, did Co-Op, got 3.8GPA in chemical engineering. Guess what? He got a job at Eastman Chemical, one of the largest global specialty chemical company. He claims he is not that smart, but he is one of the most hardworking and genuine person I ever met in my life.
I also know another guy who went to U Alabama. He was also a chemical engineer major, but decided to go to medical school. He was accepted at UAB-med school, and now is doing rotations at HARVARD. See?
My point is, don’t be all angsty because you didn’t get into school you like. I remember this quote from MTV show Daria: “You are going to second choice college not a prison!” I don’t know where you are going, but the quote is still relevant. You are not going to a prison. Yes it hurts you didn’t get into your first or second choice, but you still have opportunities to make yourself shine! You will surprised at how many college students spend entire 4+ years without any direction or thoughts about their future whatsoever. Work hard, distinguish yourself, and you will be successful.
I hope it helps.
It happens because colleges share info and it helps them juice their yield numbers. (It’s also illegal and of dubious morality)
You have amazing stats, OP, and should be proud of yourself no matter what.
What if this all happened for a reason? It is cliche, yes, but probably applicable too. You won’t know that reason for years, possibly, or you may learn it very soon.
Great job in high school. Now on to the next journey. The best is yet to come.
While a 12.8% rate ‘sounds’ much higher than 4.8%, it still is very very low. And the rd rate is likely lower than 10%. To put that in perspective, imagine 10 fantastic, high stats kids sitting in a room. The admissions officer gets to pick 1.
You are more important than the schools to which you applied. Remember that first. You earned wonderful grades etc. YOU EARNED! An excellent education will propel you through a lifetime. There are wonderful schools available to you. Your education, like the most important pieces of your life, are things you cared about and worked hard to thrive and achieve. Think about where you want to live and what you want to do. Your life is open to you before the commitments of adulthood so what places interest you? Find schools near them. Live and dream. Asking as their are books you are alive and moving.
You have been trained to view selective colleges as prizes. This is incorrect. You are the prize. Some lucky college will get you and others will be rejected by you. Swarthmore is out of the running. They are the losers in this not you.
You’ve educated yourself to become a finely tuned learning machine. This is highly valuable in real life.
It’s time to barbecue the literature from Swarthmore.
You will be wildly successful. You don’t need them.
OP, you are amazing! You will get in somewhere great, make the most of your opportunities, and do great things. Do some soul searching and think about what will actually make you happy. You’ve jumped through all the hoops we put in front of teenagers these days and the chips will now fall where they will. As an adult, you can start choosing which hoops are worth jumping through.
Much of what happens with college admissions is out of your hands and a lot of it is random. Lots of things that happen in life are random. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You have a life full of wonderful things ahead of you and you’re learning a powerful lesson in resilience right now. That is actually a good thing! Put these rejections in your rear view mirror and sally forth!
It sounds to me as if you don’t have a balanced view of life. You are trying to get into schools that pride themselves with having very low acceptance rate. You also seem to be trying to do this primarily with VERY strong grades and SAT scores, even though you are in a country where the top ranked schools admit on criteria which go a lot wider than grades and test scores, and where top stats do not necessarily get you into the top ranked schools.
I am more familiar with Stanford than Swathmore. Stanford sent an article to alumni a few years ago that discussed how they do admissions. They said that 80% of their applicants are academically qualified to attend. It is quite obvious that you are solidly in this 80%. After that, according to Stanford admissions is largely based on diversity. It appears that you didn’t contribute to their diversity. There isn’t much that you can do about this, since it is way too late for you to change your ancestors. Instead, I think that you need to focus on other schools. There are a LOT of very good universities in the US, and more outside of the US.
You could also look at straight numbers. The total number of freshmen at Stanford plus Harvard plus MIT plus Swarthmore is about 6,000, which is a LOT smaller than the number of high schools in the US. Thus even if you were the number 1 student in your high school, the vast majority of number 1 students in their high schools cannot get into any of these schools because there just aren’t enough spots.
I hope that you applied to other more realistic schools. Where I live, the “safety” schools for the very top ranked students are either the in-state flagship, or more rarely in Canada (particularly McGill, which is the closest highly-ranked school in Canada for us). Most of the top students apply to a range of schools and get in somewhere, but they can’t count on any one top-ranked US school.
I am also wondering whether talking to a counselor (perhaps a psychologist, or a counselor at your high school) might help you to keep the various aspects of your life in better balance.
“My heart breaks for you and for the kids like you who are going through this hellish process.”
I agree completely with this. To me having superb stats should help you a lot in terms of getting into top schools. However, in the US it doesn’t.
I also agree with comments above that I expect that you are going to do very well wherever you go.
You have achieved a great deal in HS and will go on to do great things wherever you go. But please recognize that:
– You need to understand that Swarthmore is a major reach for any unhooked applicant.
–The total enrollment of Swarthmore is under 1,600. About 1,000 students are admitted each year and they certainly: 1) have some hooked applicants such as legacy, athletes etc. and 2) others have been accepted in the ED round and 3) they have many more well qualified applicants than there is space to accept
–The rejection is not a personal rejection of your accomplishments or of you. Admissions is trying to create a class that is well rounded, that meets the needs of the school etc. Again, there is simply not enough space to take everyone who is qualified to attend.
–You need to move on and learn to love the schools that love you. Hopefully you have applied to a number of match and safety schools as well which you would be happy to attend (that is the most important part of the process). Don’t obsess about status – go to college and do great things wherever you are.
–I agree that talking to a therapist is not a bad idea. You should never make your life “a living hell” for any future possibility. Yes, it is fine to work hard, sacrifice a bit etc. but it is not OK to feel like you are in a “living hell for four years.” for a fighting chance at a school where admissions is a crapshoot. Use this as a lesson moving forward to try to live a more balanced life with one eye focused on today and one eye focused on the future.
Good luck wherever you end up.
Reality is that most of the stats floating around about colleges, their desirability, rank and admitted students are pretty worthless. All of the better schools do what is necessary to get the numbers they like.
RE: Stanford, they accept 5%, but think of it a different way. They take about 1800 students, and you have to subtract out all the athletes, figure about 225. Now you’re down to 1575 spots. They have bands and orchestras that get a few spots. Famous people, legacies, and others. I’d bet there are no more than 1350 spots that are truly up for grabs. That effectively reduces their rate to about 3%. They want a variety of majors, and a balanced campus, so that 5% might have effectively been 0.05% for you (esp if you don’t have some kind of status that makes you unique, like being from Alaska). If the guidance counselors at your school didn’t advise you that going for Stanford ED was about the same as a spin on the roulette wheel, they did you a tremendous disservice. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have gone for it, I’m saying it sounds like no one told you how to more accurately gauge your chances.
Swarthmore accepts all of 416 students. They have 20 teams and ROTC. Each of those teams likely gets 1 spot every year and ROTC too. They have a symphony orchestra and other things that require trained specialists. I think you get where I’m going.
Assuming that you aren’t leaving out some horrible blemish on your record, I believe that you’ll get into a great school. But if you can only focus on not getting a reward, that was highly unlikely in the best case scenario, you’ll ruin it for yourself. Remember, it only takes one admit at one school. May good news come your way soon!
@DadTwoGirls when Stanford talks about diversity it’s not just ancestry, it’s field of study, special skills to contribute. For example, they might need an outstanding bassoon player. If you’re in that 80%, and you’re a gifted bassoonist, you’ll likely get admitted and some aid to boot. It’s completely understandable, every elite school prides itself not only on the diversity of the student body, but also their offerings. Stanford isn’t Stanford anymore if the band is a joke, the plays on campus aren’t impressive, etc. It’s the same at every top school.
To follow-up on the question how could you possibly not be in the top 12.8% at Swarthmore – the answer is that you are applying with a group of self-selected students. Of course there are always a few outliers who apply on a whim without a realistic chance of acceptance but the vast majority of seniors who apply will be in the academic range for the school, have outstanding ECs, are well qualified to attend, and would succeed if accepted. So you are competing against an absolutely outstanding pool of applicants, not a random collection of HS seniors. In addition, the school looks to fill certain needs (athletics, legacy etc.), looks for a certain level of diversity etc. It is a numbers game (only 1,000 acceptances some of which are binding ED) and it is quite reasonable that even an outstanding student like yourself doesn’t get in.
I hope you find happiness and success wherever you end up.
OP you are an amazing student. You have developed discipline, self-motivation and impressive work habits. You may not have enjoyed your HS years as much as you could have…but the future is yours, and your success is not about where you “get in,” but about what you have already accomplished, and the person you have already become. Maybe now is a good time to make a commitment to yourself that you deserve more than a “living hell” – and that the mindset and positive attitude that you cultivate now, today, as you face this admissions cycle (let’s admit it, it’s awful) is what will get you through many many other difficult moments in life.
You will end up at a great school! How do I know? Because you are a student who does his/her homework…and therefore, all of the schools on your list are great. You aimed high. However this strategy necessarily has a flip side: rejection. I am sorry you have to go through this, and it does not seem “fair.” Unfortunately you will probably never know why, so if you can let go, you will find it easier to move on.
Did you apply to multiple schools? You need only one acceptance to go to college (assuming you ensured that you applied to affordable schools). You need only two acceptances to be in the enviable position of being able to make a choice. Don’t let prestige cloud your sight – no matter how great you think a school is. As others have said, YOU are the prize.
Please keep us informed as to how you are doing.
hey, I’m a fellow high school senior and I have some advice for you. I’ve also had to make sacrifices to achieve stats like yours. I think you should start choosing to do at least one thing a day that makes you happy (not including school stuff). Spend 20 minutes reading a new book or listening to a podcast. Go for a run. Snuggle your pets. Watch an old Disney movie with your friends. I know what it feels like to feel as though everything is hinging on college admissions and academics. I’ve felt misunderstood when someone tells me to relax. The only thing that really helps with the stress of all this is to be kind to yourself.
College admissions can feel harsh and personal. It can feel like some admissions officer who’s never met you sat down one day and found fault with you as a person. But I really think that much of it is impersonal- and I mean that in a good way. The schools that chose not to accept you weren’t making a conscious choice to reject you because they didn’t like you. They didn’t accept you because they didn’t believe you were the right fit for whatever class they are trying to create. This is not on you. You did everything you could.
Whoever you are, you’ll be successful someday. So what if you don’t change the world at Swarthmore? You’ll do just as well somewhere else. Go eat a bowl of ice cream and watch Mulan on Netflix. You’re going to be just fine.
Sincerely,
Someone Who Gets It (:
@Bella2018 that was a lovely post and you are wise beyond your years!