How do I handle the question "Do you party?" if I don't

Parents Forum
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<p>I’ve had a great deal of fun at parties both with and without drinking. I started off college as a vigorous opponent of alcohol-infused partying and refused to attend most parties my freshman year, but now I kind of wonder what the big deal was. The stereotypical all-out cops-get-called party isn’t that common; the majority of “parties” are just a group of friends hanging out with some of them drinking/smoking. Even at the bigger parties, there are usually groups of people hanging out away from the loud music. </p>

<p>Sure, you can stay away from partying, but being so averse to parties my freshman year definitely limited my social options. You don’t have to drink and there’s usually a need for a sober driver at the end of the night, which can win you a free 3 AM meal at Waffle House. I’d definitely recommend giving a few a try (not that you have to consume anything illegal), especially if you can go with a group of friends, before deciding that it’s not the right thing for you. </p>

<p>Though I know a lot of people recommend getting involved in organizations as an alternative to partying, many organizations have their own sort of party scene and you really won’t get into the social fabric of that org. unless you’re willing to go to a few parties. </p>

<p>Finally, there’s a stereotype that just because someone drinks/smokes/etc. they’re somehow intellectually handicapped. That just isn’t true. There are few things more amusing than watching two Classics majors speak entirely in Latin or discussing foreign policy with someone after a few drinks. Sure, there are plenty of annoying drunks and drinking/smoking may be illogical, but it’s really not that bad as you might think.</p>

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<p>“I like going to parties, but I’m not a big drinker.” This way you’ll be invited; if you aren’t enjoying yourself, you can leave.</p>

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<p>S1 says this is a good reason to attend a party, even if one does not drink.</p>

<p>Seriously: there is not the social stigma if you don’t party that there seems to be in HS.</p>

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<p>My D would answer, “No, but I don’t have a problem with people who do.” She has been in her friends’ dorm rooms at other schools where drinking & chatting were what was done on a weekend night … she had no problem with that, although she did not join them in the drink of the day. She has tried fraternity parties at her school & did not find them fun at all. She would have no interest whatsoever in being at a party with a kegstand for entertainment. It’s all in the role the partying takes in the socializing. In the end, she has many interests & she’d prefer to do other things with her friends. She has found others who share her interests … some drink, others do not.</p>

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<p>Well said Vig180. People need to learn how to deal with all sorts of social situations. Later in life your job might depend on it.</p>

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<p>This is good:

Here’s another one:
“I usually like to go to concerts (fill in what you like to do). It’ll be interesting to see what the parties here are like. I’m usually more of a designated driver myself.”</p>

<p>(Designated drivers are much-loved by partiers and non-partiers alike.)</p>

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<p>thanks for the advice everyone! I think I’m just a little nervous right now going into college and freaking out about everything and trying to decide how I should act in certain situations.</p>