Sorry for a long read but I would like anyone’s help on how to improve this. My teacher grades this a 6 out of 9. I would like to, actually, I want an 8. But, I cannot since I am a terrible writer. My teacher told me to step out of the circles and stop following a systematic way of rhetorical essay (Identification and Explanation). How can I turn this into an 8 and how can i just be direct and jump right. Also, how can I make it my bodies a bit more “meatier”? Thank you for taking your time to reading this?
Question:
On April 10, 1962, as the United States was emerging from a recession, the nation’s largest steel companies raised
steel prices by 3.5 percent. President John F. Kennedy, who had repeatedly called for stable prices and wages as part
as part of a program of national sacrifice during a period of economic distress, held a news conference on April 19, 1962 which he opened with the following commentary regarding the hike in steel prices. Read Kennedy’s remarks
carefully.Then write an essay in which you analyze the rhetorical strategies President Kennedy uses to achieve his purpose. Support your analysis with specific references to the text
In 1962, President John F. Kennedy held a news conference regarding the hikes in steel prices by 3,5 percent. President Kennedy used strategies such as; repetition, diction, statistics and emotional appeals to approach steel companies.
President Kennedy starts off by setting a strict tone, "In this serious hour in our nation's history", to let steel companies know the increase in steel prices is a national problem while also letting the steel companies know the problem is shared by everyone thus repetition. President Kennedy constantly uses "we" to show that even a man of his level and class is affected by this outrage. Afterwards President Kennedy uses a cause and effect strategy while combining a guilty type of tone in the third paragraph, "If this rise in the cost steel prices is imitated by the rest of industry instead of rescinded, it would increase cost of homes, autos, appliances, and most other items for every American family", to convey the grace results of imitation of increasing steel prices from the rest of the industry.
Throughout his speech, President Kennedy utilizes emotional appeals as well as carefully picked diction to persuade the citizens and steel companies to his side. To begin, Kennedy picks specific words that he knows will have a negative and persuasive emotions. In the first paragraph, Kennedy says, " Constitutes a wholly unjustifiable and irresponsible defiance of the public interest", Kennedy intentionally makes steel companies look selfish and show they are more against the "public emotions". In the second paragraph, he states, "...tiny handful of steel executives whose pursuit of of private power and profit exceeds their sense of public responsibility can show utter contempt for the interests of 185 millions Americans", Kennedy separates the "tiny handful of steel executives" from the 185 millions Americans showcasing how insignificant the "tiny handful of steel executives" are and how they can't sacrifice their "private power" and "profit" for their "sense of of public responsibility". Kennedy also implements pathos in the same paragraph by targeting the "war" side since America was in the middle of Vietnam war. He addresses the sacrifices the people are making. "When we devoting our energies to economic recovery and stability, when we are asking Reservists to leaves their homes and families for months on end... at a time when restraint and sacrifices are being asked of every American", while the steel companies prioritizes in this dark hour.
In this impressive speech, John F. Kennedy establishes a very distinctive line between "185 million Americans" against a "tiny handful of steel executives" while also impressively including himself with the 185 million Americans, us versus them, to inform his citizens in how redundant and unneeded the price increase of steel is.