Any tips for gay students who will meet their roommate only on the day they move in (school policy)? I have a game plan (tell them fairly soon after meeting) but I’d be open to other opinions.
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There’s a good reason the dozen-page residence form is so comprehensive; we should be fine. Besides, the campus went crazy over Prop 8. I don’t think it will be an issue there. I’m bringing it up when I go to some LGBTQQ event, or [strike]when[/strike] if sex becomes an issue.</p>
<p>In regards to the sexuality being part of who you are…</p>
<p>Of course it is. Everything about you, from your hair color to more complicated things like sexual orientation and beliefs, is part of who you are. Its just a matter of how much that part of you defines you.</p>
<p>However, I think people are more quick to define homosexuals or bisexuals by their orientation then they are to define heterosexuals by their orientation. People have said it before, you become known as “the gay dude” and that sort of outshines anything else you might want to be known for. That’s why I’ll stay “closeted” (though I wouldn’t really call it that, because I won’t deny it if they ask, and they never do) with acquaintances - if I’m not close to them, I’m never going to discuss romantic relationships with them. So I’m not going to give them the chance to label me for something that’s not important in our relationship.</p>
<p>Yeah, I’m going to have to deal with this too. I’m about 90% sure my roommate will be fine with living with a lesbian/bisexual/random chick, b/c of where I’m going, but it’s that ten percent that worries me a little. </p>
<p>Also, bringing it up’s going to be wieeeeerrrd. I’m terrible at coming out, one because I hate people who talk about their sexuality all the time and two because the way I did it to my current friends was a side comment in the context of a conversation, like it was no big deal. Which is how I wanted it, because, you know, it isn’t.</p>
<p>…Too bad Hallmark doesn’t make an “I’m gay!” greeting card.</p>
<p>Good luck with your roommate and sorry for going on about myself!</p>
<p>Should you choose to tell him/her, my advice is to watch your timing of when you say it. I met my soon-to-be stepsister for the first time a few weeks ago and her introduction to me was: “Hi, I’m Ronnie and I’m a lesbian.”
Shortly followed was “Wow, you live here!? Are you a snob?”</p>
<p>In regards to your sexuality being part of who you are… I’m gay and I plan on being out to my roommates from the start, because it’s not about talking about being gay (i got that out of my system when I first came out), but it’s about being able to talk about your dates and your partners and your crushes and hell, even what tv shows you watch (the L word, anyone?). I want to be able to come back to our room and, when they’re all talking about their boyfriends, be able to use female pronouns for my girlfriend or date. Or, if something like Prop 8 happens again, I want to be able to cry with the people around me knowing why I’m crying.</p>
<p>As for coming out, I’m guessing I’ll just mention a date or put up some pictures in my room of me and my queer friends or mention going to the LGBTSA.</p>
<p>jojodevka, chaiken totally ruined the last season of The L Word!</p>
<p>I think that going “Hi I’m Johnny and I’m gay” is a bit too much. Use a sensible timeframe and tell them a few hours into a good conversation at the very beginning of the semester. That way you’re being honest AND making it into no big deal.</p>
<p>I’m having this same problem except I’m female. I actually think I’m going to tell my roommate now, just to save myself from any awkward situations in the fall. I plan on making it as casual as possible over facebook haha. I think she’ll be okay with it, though.</p>
<p>when my sister let me know she was gay it was really nonchalant. like “i’m going to this all gay thing where we do blah blah blah”. didn’t hit me until we were off the phone. very smooth and not awkward at all. you just dont expect it so in casual conversation its one of those kind of important things you skip over because you’re too busy having a normal conversation and reflect on after the fact. if you guys ever experience that.</p>
<p>I just got assigned a new roommate (i guess my original one is changing schools?). anyway, he’s gay. haven’t spoken to him yet but i’ve seen his facebook.</p>
<p>and he’s really cute too. don’t know how i feel about that</p>
<p>It’s really not unfortunate. It would be awful if you did hook up and then fell out. What if you dated and then broke up?! Honestly, I would have to request a new roomate.</p>