<p>...Convince a fat girl to exercise more often?</p>
<p>There is this girl in my dorm floor who is really interested in me. I've hanged out w/ her a few times and like her personality..but not her body. Yes, I am shallow. I can't help it. </p>
<p>I like to talk to her but have no sexual feelings for her due to that. She just have a really big gut. Looks like those girls that be really hot if they lose about 40-70lbs. I asked her to come to the gym with me before and she did.....ONCE. We did some cardio workout for abt one hour.</p>
<p>How do I convince her to exercise without sounding rude or suspicious????? </p>
<p>Keep in mind that I dont wanna rush this "plan." I got plenty of time left in college..Just wanna date her when she lose those belly fats.</p>
<p>Well I think it’s great you want to help her lose the fat(even if it’s only so you’ll have something pleasant to look at) because you’re trying to help her get healthy. No matter what, in the end she will be thankful. The only thing is you can’t force just anyone to lose weight without that person actually wanting to do it. It takes a lot especially if the amount of pounds you want to drop is in double digits. So only she can to make this life changing decision. Now to help her get a start at it, you can try to ask her to go to the gym with you more often and once she notices a change, maybe she’ll take it more seriously because of the results. Talk to her about how you’re really into fitness and how everyone should take care of their health and why it’s important, just don’t do it in a way that makes her think you’re referring to her.</p>
<p>You don’t. It’s none of your business. If you are not interested you are not interested. There is no such thing as only being conditionally interested.</p>
<p>ETA:</p>
<p>I came across this yesterday. Not a bad article.</p>
<p>Here is the relevant piece, in case that link turns out to not be allowed…</p>
<p>"Weight</p>
<p>There is no friendly way for a guy to tell a girl that she’s put on weight. Even if there was a friendly way, most of the women I’ve talked to about it said they would not want to hear it from a guy. It seems obvious, but not all guys know this. We polled some of the guys in our office, and the prevailing male opinion was as long as she’s your girlfriend, or you’ve known each other for a while, then you can make weight loss suggestions. I think the best policy is silence. If I"m desperate to make a suggestion, maybe I tell one of her girlfriends to do it on my behalf."</p>
<p>you should almost never ask for a girl’s weight… and asking her that is a reference to it. Try this, since you guys seem pretty good friends, invite her to do something (cycling, hiking, running, playing volleyball, etc.). You might build a better understanding on you and her and she will likely lose some weight. (Of course, don’t tell her that these activities are meant for weight loss)</p>
<p>TwistedxKiss, when she agreed to go to the gym with me, i didn’t mention her weight at all. I made it sound like some sort of date and she said YES. She seemed to have enjoy it (she game me a shoulder massage afterward! :D). 2 days later, I told her I could use the company and asked her to come with me again she said NO. w t f >_> </p>
<p>I just want to change that to a YES without sounding anywhere near my real intentions. You know…Just two friends with a daily routine of going on the treadmill and such for 45-60 minutes. </p>
<p>“I think the best policy is silence.”</p>
<p>I think this is just plain ridiculous. I am not planning on hinting to her that she looks fat to me but if she was my girlfriend I would do it. The truth would hurt but at the end she would benefit from it.</p>
<p>Maybe, maybe not. Just because you hurt her feelings doesn’t mean she’ll magically go lose weight. It’s not like she has no idea she’s fat.</p>
<p>I have always been at a very healthy weight but shortly after my boyfriend and I started dating I got mono and gained like 30 pounds, I was too sick to get out of bed for a whole year. I was really self-conscious about it and was WELL AWARE of the issue without anybody telling me, as I imagine most overweight folks are. Most people don’t need to be told they’re fat, if they care they’ll find a way to take care of it, if they don’t they won’t and nothing you say is going to change their minds. The fact that my boyfriend so clearly didn’t care, didn’t even seem to notice, made our relationship so much stronger and built a lot of trust. I am actually really glad we had that experience, even if I did have to be on the chunky side for a year while I recuperated and eventually started taking the weight back off. Had he been an ass about it I’d have dumped him. It’s none of his business how much I weigh. If he decides he is no longer happy with me it’s his prerogative to leave. But it’s not his business to try and get me to lose weight just so he’ll like me enough to stay. That is a DISGUSTING thought. If you really liked the girl you wouldn’t care.</p>
<p>Seriously, dude, if you’re THAT shallow, she can find someone who respects both her mind AND her body. It’s not like heavy girls are incapable of dating just because of weight – there are still people who can see their beauty, inside and out.</p>
<p>looks like no one here can help me. Exercising 5 days a week have became a habit of mine and my body has been feeling so great and energetic as a result. I didn’t like it at first as well but now I can’t stop. I just wanted to find a way to do the same thing for her without signaling that she’s fat or make it sound like I care abt a girl’s weight. Apparently most of you think that this is wrong.</p>
<p>Anyway, going off topic. </p>
<p>Why is it so hard to lose weight?? I never understood that. If you’re not happy with your body shape, why not do something about it instead of sitting down feeling depressed or trying to convince yourself you are fine the way you are??? </p>
<p>It as easy as…
-Change you meal plan to something healthy.
-Do cardio exercise.</p>
<p>I’m scared I’m going to get fat lol. I tried fitting in time to exercise but that plan got shot down pretty fast. It would be so much easier if our gym opened at 5am in the morning because then I would have time to go, take a shower, mentally prepare for 8 am classes, etc. I probably could squeeze it all in if I really tried but I’m sluggish in the morning; I need lots of time to get moving. </p>
<p>And yeah you are right. You are shallow. But if that means you get someone else to start living a healthier life then maybe that’s okay. Best bet is to set a good example and keep encouraging (without pressuring) maybe…But may I ask what you plan on doing when a future wife of yours is old, fat, and wrinkly?</p>
<p>I have such severe exercise induced asthma that I needed to get a disability accommodation on file at school to ensure I was not put in a residence hall without an elevator, because I can’t make it up more than one flight of stairs. I also have a digestive disorder that, when it flairs up, completely limits what I can eat to bland, tasteless crackers and bread until it gets better-- so basically for months at a time I can eat nothing but carbs. I try to do cardio at least two or three times a week but I can’t do much, I just walk on the treadmill about 3.5-4mph for an hour. And I do pilates. Thankfully I have pretty decent metabolism so I am still slender, but were it not for that I’d probably be pretty huge. My mom just found out after 30 years of running 6 miles on the treadmill every day and eating very healthily and NOT losing any weight that she actually had a thyroid problem that was affecting her. She had no idea. Her doctors had never thought to check it until just then.</p>
<p>Medical problems aside, maybe they just plain don’t want to. Sure it’s unhealthy to be overweight, but maybe they don’t care. Some people don’t. Why do people smoke? That’s just as much of a no-brainer to me as not being fat is to you, but millions of people still do it, many of which wouldn’t want to quit even if they thought they could. It’s killing them and it’s gross and it’s inconvenient what with having to stand outside and all, and it’s expensive. They just plain don’t care. Or maybe they don’t know how to. Everybody’s body is different and requires different things. And old habits certainly die hard. With how many students have a ridiculously hard time breaking bad study habits I don’t think it’s an outrageous idea that perhaps people who are used to having unhealthy habits would have a hard time having the discipline to break them. It’s also hard to fit in time. I have class from 10am to 6pm, I wake up at 8 and go get breakfast, it takes me an hour to get to the gym and back even without a workout and then I’d have to shower and go eat and leave a half hour to get to class, there’s not enough time in the morning. I’d be willing to wake up earlier but the gym isn’t open that early. In the evening I have study groups and homework to do, and at night the gym is closed. If I want to run around the city in the dark and get mugged I could do that but I’d rather not. I am making an effort to struggle up the stairs when I have time but otherwise it’s not easy to fit in workout time, I barely have time to eat and sleep.</p>
<p>And please, don’t try and play it like you just want her to lose weight for her own good. If that’s the case, you’d have asked how we could help your friend. Not how we could help you with a girl who’d be hot if she weren’t fat.</p>
<p>“But may I ask what you plan on doing when a future wife of yours is old, fat, and wrinkly?”</p>
<p>I am not trying to brag or anything but girls seem to like me easily. So, I’ll just keep hooking up until i am like 40 then marry a girl that in her mid 20’s. </p>
<p>@TwistedXKiss: I understand medical reasons…or why people can’t stop smoking (highly addictive). I am talking about those fat people who are disgusted about their own bodies. Instead of whining why not change it??? That’s what confuse me.</p>
<p>“And please, don’t try and play it like you just want her to lose weight for her own good. If that’s the case, you’d have asked how we could help your friend. Not how we could help you with a girl who’d be hot if she weren’t fat.”</p>
<p>I made it very clear in my first post why I want her to lose weight. I am not trying to make it look like I am some caring guy who worries about her friend’s unhealthy lifestyle. </p>
<p>-She’s into me but I am not feeling anything for her because of her body.
-She looks like she would be hot if she loses about 30lbs.
-If her looks becomes to my likings, I’ll date it.</p>
<p>So, Yea, it’s all about me. But in the end, she’ll benefit from it as well.</p>
<p>Perhaps being straight-forward with her will do the trick IF she is really that into you. Win-win for both of you – she loses weight and lives healthier, gets a quasi-bf (OP), and the OP gets laid by someone he finds hot, assuming she can keep the weight off.</p>
<p>If you don’t want to be overly direct with her, you could try once again asking her to work out with you and assuming she goes, tell her how much you enjoyed her presence and how you’d like her to join you 4-5 times a week, like a “date”. Afterward, perhaps the two of you could go eat a healthy, low-fat meal at the dining hall or make something healthy to eat in your dorm kitchen to go along with the workout.</p>
<p>It’s also worth noting that losing weight isn’t so simple for people who haven’t been as blessed in the genetics department. It’s possible to be overweight and healthy, despite what the 2 AM infomercials tell you.</p>
<p>A girl does not ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER want to hear from a guy that she needs to lose weight. Especially a guy that she’s interested in. I could type some long speech about why (as some CC’er is bound to do), but that’s basically just the way it is.</p>
<p>Also, it really isn’t any of your business. And inviting her to the gym under the pretense of asking her on a date doesn’t cut it: be upfront with her and let her know you’re not interested in her (as she is). There are a million other girls for you to choose from, and you don’t need to exert effort trying to “change” her. Anyway, trying to change people never works anyway, so why bother.</p>
<p>You know what? I don’t really think Drash is that shallow. Come on, are you telling me you guys have never thought that a certain girl/guy would e significantly more attractive if they lost weight/gained muscle/got rid of their acne/shaved off excessive body hair/etc? It’s not like he’s being a ****** about it; he’s willing to make a time investment. And anyway, I have never met or heard of <em>anyone</em> who was honestly 100% happy with their overweight body; resigned, yes, but not delighted. Just keep offering to take her to the gym. But don’t expect it to work.</p>
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