<p>there’s a difference between looking at someone and saying “they’d be hot if xyz” and going up to someone and saying “listen, i’m not going to bone you until you lose weight so let’s get to the gym, fatty!” the first one is fine if not a little objectifying (but we all do it). the second suggests that the person in question is so desperate for love and affection that they’re willing to let themselves be objectified just to get some tail. it puts the person being addressed in a position where it’s impossible for them to be happy with themselves/they’re depending on the approval of someone else for their happiness. </p>
<p>and nobody is 100% happy with their bodies 100% of the time, overweight or not. if i’m happy (yes, DELIGHTED!) with my overweight body 99% of the time then i think i’m doing a pretty damn good job.</p>
<p>“and nobody is 100% happy with their bodies 100% of the time, overweight or not. if i’m happy (yes, DELIGHTED!) with my overweight body 99% of the time then i think i’m doing a pretty damn good job.”</p>
<p>How big are we talking about?? Just curious…</p>
<p>And the.pfenix got a point. I have never met a person who’s happy about being overweight “99% of the time” either. The idea sounds as insane to me as “I know smoking is bad for my health and there is a high chance it’s gonna hurt or kill me in the not so far away future, but I am gonna do it everyday anyway. I am happy about my decision!”</p>
<p>i don’t own a scale but last i checked i was chilling somewhere between 190 and 200 (on a 5’10 frame). i know women much larger than myself who are equally happy with their bodies. </p>
<p>fat is not as dangerous as you think it is, seriously. check out “the diet myth” by paul campos.</p>
<p>Never have I heard someone say “That person would be hot if she lost 80 pounds. I’m going to get her a Bally’s membership so I can **** her six months later.”</p>
<p>It just sounds like you’re unable to get someone who does fit your beauty standards.</p>
<p>I love how you think tricking someone to get healthy is a practical thing to do. You are simply a stupid individual. The narrative you are giving yourself makes no sense at all and you seem to be the only one who doesn’t realize it.</p>
<p>Anyways, since I feel like being helpful and you obviously need the help, there is something that has a chance of working. That is to say that you like her and all but you need to be with an active individual since you’re active too. Make it more about activities rather than looks. You want someone who you can go backpacking with, rock climbing with, scuba diving with, etc. </p>
<p>This probably won’t work but it’s your best chance.</p>
<p>“Never have I heard someone say ‘That person would be hot if she lost 80 pounds.’”</p>
<p>Wow seriously? Maybe the people u hang out with just don’t have much of an imagination.</p>
<p>“It just sounds like you’re unable to get someone who does fit your beauty standards.”</p>
<p>I’ve had girlfriends b4 and was pleased w/ their looks. There are plenty on campus as well. I Just think of her as an investment that’ll come handy later on…like 2yrs from now.</p>
<p>Heh, the ‘she’d be hot if xyz!’ argument is kind of *<strong><em>ty. I had one of the dorks in my math class tell me in confidence that he’d find me unbearably attractive if I got my lip pierced. Laughing? So was I until he said he was serious. Different strokes for different folks, but just because you think it will benefit her in uncountable ways doesn’t mean that she will necessarily like hearing it or care enough to invest that much time in it. Losing weight for girls is generally a lot harder than it sounds. I’m not making excuses for fat people but it’s more than ‘put down the doughnut and go to the gym, chunks!’ It’s changing a lifetime of exercise avoidance and a bad food choices, which is worth it in the end, but few people get past all the *</em></strong> at the beginning to see that.</p>
<p>The fact that you wish she was thinner is understandable, but that fact that you are trying to change her in order to fit your expectations is stupid and kind of creepy.</p>
<p>If you manage to pull this off, hats off to you. I highly doubt you will though. Find someone else. By the way, you aren’t any more shallow than the average human being. I see girls that would be hot if they lost weight all the time. You just can’t go in with the expectation that you can change someone.</p>