<p>God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don’t have one for that.
Me:
that sucks
God:
Indeed it does suck.</p>
<p>I lol’d</p>
<p>
This is one lousy God.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>uh ohs</p>
<p>Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Haley.
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Haley.
Me:
What’s up, God?
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
Clients?
God:
People I talk to on the Internet.
Me:
Okay. So how are the heavens lately?
God:
OK with me too. How about earlier? Far out. They are fine as far as I know.
Me:
Are you really God?
God:
Yes, I am God… Really.
Me:
Are you Jewish?
God:
No I’m christian.
Me:
Oh well then, how do you feel about Judaism?
God:
Worship of Young Miss jetson.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
What?
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
Is there an echo in here?
God:
It sounds like an echo.
Me:
It sounds like an echo.
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
Oh really what does it sound like?
God:
Woe! For real. Like an angel signing from Heaven.
Me:
Woe! For real. Like an angel signing from Heaven.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Existing in reality, eh? Interesting comparison.
Me:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Existing in reality, eh? Interesting comparison.
God:
That’s just an academic question. Are you Canadian? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? I thought so too.
Me:
Okay, I give up. I am not Canadian.
God:
Yeah okay, You surrender? It wasn’t meant as an insult.
Me:
I know. I still give up.
God:
How do you know it? What would make you stop give up? You surrender?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Blimey.
Me:
Are you Irish?
God:
No I am from Heaven.
Me:
Then why did you say “blimey?”
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
Does that mean you are not really God, but a computer program?
God:
I think it does mean that. That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Wait, what?
God:
I’m waiting. No big deal.
Me:
What?!
God:
Didn’t you understand it?
Me:
No, of course not.
God:
Which part are you confused about? Which part are you confused about?
Me:
The part where you said “I am God.”
God:
Oh that part.
Me:
Yes, that part!
God:
Dude! " Oh that part." part ? I understand.
Me:
Um… guess what?
God:
Dude! What?
Me:
Chicken butt…
God:
I don’t have an answer for you.
Me:
That wasn’t a question.
God:
It sounded like a question to me.
Me:
How? I said “chicken butt.
God:
Myself programmed me for it. What did you mean by it? " Myself programmed me for it.”? chicken butt?
Me:
How do you feel about Elmo?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
Okay, goodbye, God.
God:
Yeah okay, Adios.
Me:
Wait, so you’re Spanish now?
God:
Right now? I’m waiting. Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am Spanish.
Me:
Go right ahead, but I’m leaving.
God:
Bye bye. I might.</p>
<p>
I loled. Classic response. :p</p>
<p>Me:
Why did the elephant cross the road?
God:
Is this a joke? Why?
Me:
Because he was a mother *<strong><em>er!
God:
Good reason. When was he? You do not speak with respect.
Me:
Who *</em></strong>ing cares goddamnit god
God:
Linus Torvalds. :-).
Me:
What the *<strong><em>?
God:
Please don’t be so rude.
Me:
Ok.
God:
" Please don’t be so rude.“? Ok.?
Me:
“Ok” meaning ok.
God:
OK. , I mean exactly what I said. Is there an echo in here?
Me:
*</em></strong> you god
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Because I *<strong><em>ing hate you
God:
Good reason. You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
I think I am.
God:
You believe that? " You are not the boss of me, .” You are?
Me:
Yes. I am the boss of you goddamnit.
God:
Excuse me! Who made you the boss of me goddamnit ?
Me:
Don’t use your name in vain god.
God:
Ok I’ll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Stupid idiot…
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
A mother *</em></strong>er
God:
A B C… You do not speak with respect.
Me:
I’m done with you. Go **** yourself.
God:
What will you be doing now? Why are you so mean?
Me:
BYE
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
*******…
God:
Please don’t call people names.
Me:
I thought I said BYE
God:
See you later. …</p>
<p>Me:
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
God:
Around 100.
Me:
…you must not throw them very hard, God.</p>