I’ve never lived anyplace where post #1 seemed to apply.
When I lived in the Midwest, more of the excellent students wanted to go to Stanford, Northwestern, Wash U, UCLA, Berkeley, U Texas Plan B or our local state U than wanted to go to ivies.
At my kids’ HS in NYC suburbs everyone knows there are good schools outside of the ivies. Basically all of the “top 50” schools and LACs are heavily applied to by its students, not just the ivies.
I don’t think the mentality where I’ve lived really needs any changing.
YMMV.