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Then add the slightly more Southern tradition at Princeton. But it's not about snobby. Princeton kids are almost unnervingly friendly and non-snobby.
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Quite right. I am about as sensitive to snobbery and racism as they come. I have been on Princeton's campus tons of times, hung out with Princeton parents many times. At first, I sort of expected to encounter some sort of snobbish sleight or some other discomfort. Didn't happen. Each subsequent time I also expected snobbery. It never has happened. I can't say I have let my guard down against it because I somehow feel I have to believe that racism is an issue everywhere in America, but Princeton has never given me cause for this belief. The unvarnished fact is that I have never personally experienced anything other than respect and honor from Princeton folk, and I have been enough around them so that were there a snob problem, it would have expressed itself. I suppose Harvard and Yale folks are as decent. I know nothing about them-- yet (though I have a Yalie parent buddy here on CC that sure makes Yale seem welcoming to me), but I think I can confidently say that you can't go anywhere and find more charming, more welcoming, more down-to-earth, and more just plain good and decent folks than you are gonna find at Princeton University.</p>
<p>Now, I have checked with my kid often on this stuff. I am ALWAYS checking to see if the alleged Snobs of Princeton are gonna hunt down and hurt my kid. Here we are, poor by any general American standard, rich by our own standard, and with kids sitting smack dab in the middle of all those rich folks. So how is it going? Maybe there are economic snobs at Princeton. My kid reports she has never encountered them. She certainly has encountered lots of rich folk (LOTTA rich folks!). But she has never reported anyone who has in any way belittled her because of her race or class - and I have asked very many times about this. My kid tells me that at Princeton, no one gives you anything. No one is gonna go easy on you or give you a nudge, or give you anything at all. You will not even get the benefit of the doubt. If you get any benefit at all it will be because of your own hard work. But she says if you want to make it happen, no one will get in your way. In fact, if you prove that you want to make it happen, many people, purely out of respect, will give you tips. And if from there you keep at it, eventually they will work with you out of mutual friendship and respect. First semester out, she took an honors course in number theory. Study groups formed and kids sorted themselves quickly. She did very well and gained lots of respect. She reports that even now she has good friends from that group, though they have gone on to other things. She also said when the course was finally over, when she wrote her last "Q.E.D." for the class, she fought tears. Now, you just can't get that kinda thing at some place filled with a bunch of preppy snobs. As a dad, I could not have even dared to dream about such a place for my kid.</p>
<p>I am sure Harvard and Yale have stuff like this. They are amazing places. I don't yet have experience with them, but c'mon - you don't get to be Yale and Harvard by acting like just any old school. But I don't know about them-- yet. I know about Princeton. If a guy like me can feel at home there, and if my kid can get on there, well, that snob stuff is just total nonsense.</p>